Myself Yourself: An alternate novelization
by Daniel Song
Summary: An alternate retelling of Myself; Yourself.
1. Prologue

**Myself; Yourself**

**An alternate novelization**

Cast of characters:

Sana Hidaka – the protagonist

Aoi Oribe – Sana's cousin

Kaori Oribe – Aoi's mother

Sachiko Oribe – Sana's mother, and Kaori's sister

Yuzuki Fujimura – Sana's homeroom teacher

Shuusuke Wakatsuki – Sana's best friend

Shuri Wakatsuki – Sana's friend, and Shuusuke's twin sister

Asami Hoshino – Sana's new love interest (?)

Nanaka Yatsushiro – Sana's friend, and former love interest (?)

Grandma Kaji – a mentally ill resident in a retirement home

Hinako Mochida – ten-year-old genius

**Prologue**

_Sana._

_Sana-chan._

_We'll miss you, Sana-chan._

_Will we ever see you again? Come back as soon as you can…_

Memories. Gifts. Friends. A treasured moment. That was all that remained from the bond they shared – the circle of five that started in early childhood and only grew stronger and stronger over the years. School. A field trip to the mountains. Afternoons spent exploring Nature Park. Summer days at the pool. Getting lost in the caves. Until that fateful day, five years ago, when he had to move away from Sakuranomori, and broke the chain that had held them together…

It had been both his happiest and saddest day. Happiest, because the people he cared for the most were with him, sending him off with a going-away party, and presents to remember them by. Saddest, because he would never be able to see or hear from them again – his mother wouldn't allow him to contact them. Unforgettable, even as the cake was eaten, and the lure and gloves were lost, as he still remembered and played the song that came at the end of the party, a half-finished song that was played on the violin…

But he had been given another chance. A chance to reform old bonds, to build a new life from shattered fragments. Hopefully, he would move forward once more, spurred on by those who had supported and cared for him during his happiest years…


	2. I: Welcome

**I**** - Welcome**

_Welcome back, Sana-chan._

Was this really her? There was something – off – about this whole situation. Her voice seemed similar, her appearance was somewhat familiar, but there was the matter of – _that_.

"Is it really you?" Sana asked. "Aoi… san?"

"Aoi-_chan_", she corrected. "Gees, it's been too long. You know that you can call me Aoi-_chan_. For a moment there, I thought you didn't recognize me."

Well, there was _that_ –

"Ah, it must be the glasses. I got them a year ago – the doctor said I was reading too many books in the dark." She took them off and asked, "How about now?"

How should he put it? She looked, acted, and talked like Aoi-chan, if it weren't for _that_ –

"Are you sure you're Aoi-chan?"

She crossed her arms. "I am me! Come on, you should recognize your own cousin."

Yes, it was all coming back now. The same expression of mock indignance. Her energetic speeches. The same cute face and and friendly demeanor. And that was when he realized what _that _was. _Too similar. It was too similar. Shouldn't she be seventeen by now? This girl can't be that old – why does she look like she's barely aged since the last time we met?_

"Sorry, Aoi-chan, it's been a while – but it feels good to be back."

And it was – even as he started the tedious task of unpacking and moving into his apartment. Aoi-chan was the same as always, cheerful and helpful – if a bit on the talkative side. She helped him unpack, and even carried the heavy boxes, while informing him of the rules. He would be given a monthly allowance, of which most of it would go towards rent and bills, while the rest could be used as he pleased. Ah. Meals. Wake-up time was 6:30, while breakfast was served at 7:00. Dinnertime would be around 6:00, though this was subject to change; they would text him during the day if there was a change in plans. However, he was welcome to cook on his own, as his apartment did have a kitchen – an offer that was quickly declined. Lights out by 11:00PM. All noise-making devices – including I-pods, MP3 players, and the television – were to be turned off. And no, wearing headphones wasn't good enough – all devices off. Computer privileges. He would be allowed to use the Oribe family (that is, Aoi and her mother) computer to pay his bills online, and for school assignments. He was allowed to use the computer for recreation, but only if no one in the family was using the computer, and only while a member of the family was home. And anyone in Oribe family had first priority for computer use, and could kick him off at any time, for any reason. List of chores. He was to keep his apartment reasonably neat. No dirty laundry or trash on the ground. He would vacuum and sweep the floor at least once a week. Bathrooms were to be cleaned at least once a month. And yes, all of these things (among others) were written down in a packet she was now giving him, so there would be no excuse for forgetting them.

Ah, the joys of freedom.

Then again, he was just glad he was able to come back to Sakuranomori; convincing his mother had been a miracle in itself. Especially considering just how adamant his mother had been in moving away from this town, and destroying all traces of their past. The picture album. A good luck charm from the twins, Shuusuke and Shuri. A toy necklace from Aoi. The old family phonebook. Letters from Nanaka he received in their secret mailbox. His old piano books, and the blue first place ribbon he had received for winning his first piano competition. And come to think of it, perhaps the lure and gloves – his farewell gifts from the twins – hadn't been "lost" after all.

But now he had been given another chance – to not only relive his memories, but create new ones as well – with Aoi, Shuusuke, Shuri, and Nanaka by his side. And Aoi was more than willing to get it started – first by reminding him of happier times from their past while unpacking, then by showing him around town. And my, how things had changed from the past. Several shops had expanded; others had closed up shop and were replaced; and still others had closed and remained boarded up. But at least the bookstore was still there – Aoi's favorite place to visit – complete with magazines, trading cards and other collectibles, latest manga and light novels, to go along with the usual staples. Aoi was energetic as always, all too eager to tell him about her current favorite light novel series. This one, it seemed, was about a team of magical girls trying to prevent their queen from being marrying an evil prince – while defending their country from the prince's schemes and defending themselves from his robot henchmen. This was about all he could catch, as Aoi's speech grew faster and faster until it literally seemed as if she was on fast forward – complete with the high-pitched squeals and exaggerated motions.

In the meantime he found himself browsing magazines with some scantily clad models, which earned him an immediate slap on the wrist.

"No _ecchi_!" she barked. Ah, the telltale furl in her brow – she meant business.

"Ah, come on." After all, didn't it just mean that he was a normal healthy teenager?

She raised her index finger. "It's an Oribe family rule. No _ecchi_ allowed in the house."

_In more ways than one_, Sana grumbled to himself. Ever since his parents got divorced, there were dramatic changes in the house rules. And every time he complained to his mother, he would get the same line: "Those were the _Hidaka_ rules. Now we have the _Oribe_ rules." He remembered the last time he had been caught with a magazine of that sort – and the consequences still made him shudder.

So that little incident ended their journey to the bookstore (Aoi had to grab him by the sleeve to prevent him from getting another eyeful), and it was off to their next destination, the local shrine. But strangely enough, Aoi didn't seem to be interested in doing anything there, as she passed on offering a prayer or buying charms from the gift shop. Instead, it seemed as if she was looking for something –

"Did you lose anything?" Sana finally asked.

"No, it's not that; it's just that… oh, never mind. Let's go."

Now that was strange. Not as strange as the long-haired stalker who appeared in his field of vision for a split-second and disappeared soon thereafter, but it was definitely strange.

An uncomfortable silence followed, before Aoi broke the ice: "Is there any other place you want to visit? After this, we have to go to the grocery store. We have to get home by 6:00, so we have a little time."

So many places. The cave. The grass hills, and the secret mailbox. The giant sakura tree. The local park, and the playground he used to play in. Speaking of parks, there was _that _place –

"How about Nature Park?"

Aoi shook her head. "That's too far. And it's closed anyway."

"Closed?"

She looked a little sad. "Yes. They haven't maintained it for years, and it's become a breeding ground for mosquitoes. And now they're talking about getting rid of it."

Oh. That was too bad. Shuri would be especially upset; it had been her favorite place to visit. She always used to drag the rest of the gang there on weekends, where they would go on hikes, have a picnic, go on boat rides at the lake… and finally, lay around until sunset, exchanging stories and enjoying the scenery. Ah, those carefree and relaxing days…

But the reality was that he found himself carrying several bags of groceries; they had gone straight to the grocery store. Thankfully, Aoi insisted on carrying "her fair share" instead of burdening him with the majority – although, considering the number and weight of the bags she was carrying, Sana was starting wonder whether Aoi could use a little more help. But surprisingly, she didn't seem to be having much trouble – where did she find such strength in that tiny body of hers? Come to think of it, it was like that with the boxes as well.

But perhaps she had been strong all along, and he simply had taken it for granted. And a lot of other talents he hadn't noticed. Plaques, ribbons, and other awards from various essay contests – clearly, she did more than just read. A cup-sized trophy for achieving one of the highest marks in middle school. And a single red ribbon next to the piano for finishing second in a piano competition; the memory made him smile – it was one of the few times he had beaten Aoi.

And most importantly (at least for now), her talents included cooking. Mmm. And he wasn't talking about the cake she had baked for his farewell party, though that had been one of her typical flawless efforts (even so, she had insisted she had made a mistake while applying the icing – though the so-called mistake was visible only to her). No, it was the unmistakable scent of tempura, yakisoba noodles, and miso soup – how she managed to cook all three simultaneously and finished all of them just as the rice starting to get nice and fluffy was a mystery known only to her. And (not so) coincidentally, that was when his aunt, Miss Oribe, walked through the door – just as he had finished cleaning the floor and setting the table.

Dinner was mostly an enjoyable affair. The food was great, and his cousin and aunt had no shortage of interesting stories to tell. Little incidents with their tenants. One of them had received a water bill for 50,000 yen, only to find that the water meter was installed wrong by the water company. Mishaps during their summer vacation. Aoi and Miss Oribe had missed one of their connecting trains, and were forced to find a place to stay for the night – only to find that the inn they were staying in doubled as a love motel. Visits to a nearby water park and aquarium with her friends – no, not with Shuusuke, Shuri, and Nanaka; Aoi had a different set of friends now. But the topic would soon turn to the one Sana dreaded – the call from his mother, and the terms of his stay.

A reminder. Yes, even if their personalities were on opposing poles, his mother and aunt were indeed related. Perhaps Miss Oribe was _just a bit_ nicer and gentler – but the rules were still the same. Chores. Curfews. Actually, if anything, the list had only grown. And Aoi seemed all too eager to add to his _responsibilities_ – gees, at this rate, would he _ever_ have any free time?

But his aunt and cousin seemed to ignore the sharp glances, and prattled on. "Sana," Miss Oribe suggested, "Would you be interested in having a job? If you want, we can find things for you to do around the apartment."

"That would be great!" Aoi jumped in. "We could use a lot more help. Just a few hours a week would help."

"I'll pay you 700 yen an hour, for 10 hours a week. And you can do most of the work during weekends."

"Please, Sana-chan? Mom is swamped at the office and I can't do everything by myself. And we can't afford to hire anyone full-time."

Ah, the classic 'offer you can't refuse' – he wasn't exactly given a choice, was he?

Miss Oribe seemed pleased by his response. "You know, Aoi-_chan_, it would be like having a son around the house. Maybe we should give my sister a call and let her know we're adopting him?"

"Hmm…"

"You would have your own otouto-kun."

"Otouto-kun? Does it mean he should start calling me onee-san?"

Sana shot her a look – which bounced right off of her radiant face, as usual.

"Otouto-kun, could you put away the dishes?"

"Yes – imouto-chan," Sana replied, while patting Aoi on the top of her head.

"Hey! Don't forget that I'm older than you, otouto-kun."

"I won't, obaa-san."

OK, so maybe the last line was pushing things a bit far. After putting away the dishes, he was asked to wrap and put away the leftovers, wipe the table, sweep the floor, mop the floor, and vacuum the living room – and Aoi relished in calling him 'otouto-kun' at every opportunity. But at least she couldn't get him to call her 'onee-san' – there was no way he was going to do _that_.

Fortunately his aunt put an end to the punishment (Sana was sure that's what it was) by asking him to play the piano. Aoi had quite a collection of sheet music from the old days – a collection of piano sonatas from Mozart. The "Wanderer Fantasy" by Schubert. Ah, a collection of nocturnes and sonatas from Chopin. Could that piece in there – yes, there it was. The Fantasy Impromptu, the last piece he was working on before the move to Sakuranomori. He must've had a copy of the sheet music somewhere in one of those drawers – but it was always nice to have an extra copy handy. Although it would've been nice to have a loose-leaf copy, as the book kept folding shut.

Finally Sana bent the binding to keep it open, and started to play. A tough piece, it was – one that hit you right off the bat with a blindingly fast section with some nasty runs, combined with contrasting rhythms with the right and left hands. Followed by a slow, yet deceptive middle section – playing the notes was simple enough, but it required some sophisticated pedal work and subtle touches to really make the music come alive. The final section was mostly a repeat of the first section, and practically invited one to just plow through it and get to the finish – which is just what Sana did. Which was followed by a round of applause – even as Sana fought the queasy feeling, that he had done something desperately wrong. _'Dang, I need to work on this piece,'_ Sana promised himself. Now only if he could find the time…

The time. Oh, yes. It was nearly 9:00PM, which was to be his curfew. Not 11:00PM; that's when he had to turn off all devices. He was to be in his room by 9:00PM. No exceptions. That meant no going to parties, not even during weekends, but perhaps that was the point. His mother would be calling him at that time to check up on him – and if he failed to answer, punishment would be upcoming. And his aunt had already promised his mother to enforce any and every punishment she came up with – or even add to them, if warranted.

Such threatening words from such a kind face. Yup, they were sisters, after all.

So Sana found himself sitting on his bed with his arms crossed, staring at the alarm clock with one eye and the phone with the other. The clock made it all the way to 9:02 before the dreaded sound arrived – the harbinger of doom.

"Sana."

"Yes, mother."

"Did you get the list of rules from your aunt?"

Boy, she didn't waste any time.

"I want you to listen to your aunt and cousin. You're not on vacation, Sana. Just remember why you're there. Or do you need a reminder?"

An involuntary shiver. All of a sudden, it was very… cold…

"I know that things haven't always gone well. And both of us have made mistakes. But we can't take back what happened – "

"You're right about _that_," Sana interrupted.

"_Sana_," she warned – and Sana gulped in response. It was his first and last warning.

"Sana. Do you believe in redemption?"

What a strange thing to say, especially coming from someone who had humbled him all throughout his life.

"Redemption?"

"Only if you're willing to work for it. It will be a long road, Sana. Your aunt and cousin will do their best to help you, and I promise to do what I can. But this is something that could take years. Your aunt and I already talked about it, and agreed to let you stay there at least until the end of high school."

Sana wasn't sure whether this was good news or bad news.

"That would be nice," was Sana's tentative reply. "Maybe I can meet my old friends again – "

"_About that_," his mother cut in rather sharply. "I've talked to Aoi about them, and I don't like what I'm hearing. I won't tell you not to see them or hang around them, because that didn't work last time. But you better be careful. Don't go in too deep, or else you'll fall into a pit and no one will be able to pull you out. Do you understand?"

Sana nodded promptly, then remembered he was talking on the phone.

"I see."

"Good. I'll call you tomorrow at 9:00PM. Make sure you're in your room by then."

"Yes, mother."

A _click_ soon followed, and Sana could breathe once again. Oh, the irony – after all, wasn't it just a short phone conversation with his own mother?

* * *

Compared to his previous ordeal, speaking in a room full of strangers was a piece of cake. It didn't hurt that his homeroom teacher, Yuzuki Fujimura, was a young beauty; his favorite type. So it was no surprise that Sana aced his introduction and got off on the right foot with everyone in the class. Especially with a boy with light brown hair who seemed vaguely familiar, and stood up from his seat –

"Sana? Hey, it's been a while."

"Shuu – suke?" Sana ventured. A girl with the same hair color gave a friendly wave, which meant she was –

"Shuri?"

"Do you know the Wakatsuki twins?" Yuzuki-sensei asked.

"We were buddies for a long time, before he moved away," Shuusuke explained. "Man, it's really nice to see you again. I had no idea you were coming."

That meant Aoi didn't tell him?

"It's nice that he's back, but why would he come back all of a sudden?" Shuri questioned, not really expecting an answer.

"Let's not worry about that. Sana, want to hang out after school? We can go to the new karaoke place."

"Well, about that – "

He never got to finish the sentence, because Yuzuki-sensei clapped her hands and started the class. First order of business. Electing a class representative. Not surprisingly, Shuusuke was the first one nominated; he had always been on the popular side and had served as a class representative in the past. Unfortunately Shuusuke took the opportunity to push the duties unto him – and earned a nasty glare as a result, which was gleefully ignored. Next up, the weekly schedule. There were no less than ten different subjects scattered throughout the week; some were covered every day, while others were taught once a week. Yuzuki-sensei herself was a science teacher, and taught physics and chemistry – which meant they would see her twice a week, in addition to the homeroom at the start and at the end of classes. Third, the school calendar. Filled with the usual "special" dates: holidays, the sports field day, the school festival, and of course, everyone's favorite – the exam period. And finally (!) the (tentative) list of clubs, complete with meeting times and locations – and unfortunately, the only ones he was interested in were the ones his mother wouldn't let him join. And Sana seriously doubted that he would have any better luck convincing his aunt – or his cousin, for that matter. After all, it was an Oribe family rule.

The rest of the morning was filled with a never-ending rush of teachers, as they introduced themselves and gave an outline of their subjects. Some of them attempted a mini-lecture, but were promptly cut off by the bell – which only added to the hectic atmosphere. Thankfully the stampede of teachers was mercifully put to an end by the lunch bell, which was followed by a mad dash to the cafeteria. Which reminded him. Dang, he should've brought something to eat; it surely beat having to wait in line –

"Sana!" Ah, the familiar high-pitched yell.

"Aoi-chan?" The reply was not from him, but from Shuri.

"I forgot to give this to you this morning, otouto-kun. I hope you'll like it."

Sana opened the bento and examined the contents – simple, but edible. And an "A" for presentation, but he expected nothing less.

"If you want, I can make lunch for you every day. It's not a big deal."

Well, being related would have something to do with that.

"I have to go now. See you after school!"

_Wait a minute._

"Yes?"

"Could you join us for lunch?"

Aoi seemed _just a bit _uncertain.

"Ple-ease?"

She was sufficiently amused by his puppy dog eyes, and gave in. So she quickly texted her friends to let them know she wouldn't be joining them, and the twins led them to their eating spot – under a tree on top of a grassy hill, not far from the cafeteria. And as it turned out, inviting Aoi had been a good idea, since the ground was still a bit wet – only to see Aoi pull out a tarp from inside her bag, and unroll a mat on top of it. She even had an apron that she put on before eating. No question, she came prepared.

The four had barely started eating before they were joined by a fifth – and seeing her brought an immediate smile to Sana's face. Oh yes, she had aged quite nicely. Sure, her hair had turned a little lighter and she tied much of it behind her head instead of letting it all down. But he would always remember her gentle expression, friendly nature, and her sweet demeanor – and that violin was a dead giveaway. _Welcome back._

"Nanaka?"

Silence.

The girl bowed her head slightly. "Hi, my name is Hoshino Asami."

_Asami?!_ Was this some kind of a joke? But based on the glares Shuri was giving him, he guessed it wasn't.

"I'm Hidaka Sana. I'm sorry about that – you look just like someone I used to know. Do you know Yatsushiro Nanaka?"

Asami looked dumbfounded – didn't he read or watch the news?

"I've heard _about_ her."

"She was an old friend of ours," Sana explained. "She also played the violin, and she was really good at it. I remember, she won a violin competition a while back, and we played a duet at the honors recital. I was hoping to see her again – does anyone know where she is?"

Between the sweatdrop on Aoi's forehead, a wacky expression from Shuu, utter bewilderment from Asami, and threatening gestures from Shuri – he could see her teeth – Sana figured he was treading on dangerous ground.

Thankfully Aoi steered the conversation in another direction, with a voice that was a few pitches higher than usual, if such a thing were possible. The topic quickly switched to club activities. Aoi wouldn't join any clubs because she had to help her mother after school. Shuu was a member of the soccer team, and Shuri was a phenomenal tennis player – she had played in the national tournament the year before, though she had suffered a first-round loss. And Asami? Violin took up most of her free time; she would have joined a music club if the school had one. Actually, it would be nice just to have an accompanist she could play with on a regular basis – and Sana was only too happy to oblige. It was much too good an opportunity to pass up.

Lunch hour passed by quickly, and it was soon time to get back to class. And a tortuous march it was, for everyone knew what was coming next – the infamous cleaning duties. Only afterwards would the students be allowed to take part in the club fair; the only ones exempt from cleaning duties were those who needed to set up tables and makeshift booths for their clubs. Oh, and one more thing – right after cleaning duties, there would be a short introductory meeting for class representatives at the conference room; the school principal would be addressing them. As the club fair figured to last an hour or two, it would still leave plenty of time for class representatives to check out the clubs. Which left just one problem – Sana didn't know where the conference room was, but Yuzuki-sensei assured him that she arranged for a fellow class representative to show him the way.

The fifteen minutes of agony were soon up and most of the class rushed to the club fair, while Sana was left to wait for his guide. And it looked like his luck was holding so far, as his guide was a real keeper; complete with long, jet-black, flowing hair, a well-proportioned body, a chin that was held high, and a slightly distant gaze – the hallmarks of a classic beauty. There was no way he was going to blow this introduction. Unless –

"Excuse me, are you Hidaka Sana?"

"Yes," he said simply, and offered a friendly handshake. She raised her hand all right, but took a couple of steps back, before springing forward, then –

_**– SLAP –**_

Sana staggered backward from the sheer force and nearly fell. "What the?!" It was then that he noticed the girl's wrist. That flower bracelet; it looked familiar, somehow –

"Na – Nanaka?! Eh?"

It was then that his knees failed him, and he sank to the ground – and everything turned red.


	3. II: Fallout

**II**** - Fallout**

_Sana, are you all right?_

_Sana! Please get up!_

_Hang in there, Sana!_

Headache. That was the first thought that entered his mind when he finally awoke. And when he opened his eyes, he was granted with a rather unfamiliar sight – and was starting to wonder how he ended up on a merry-go-round. Finally the ride came to a stop and he was greeted by a display of shooting stars, before several rather distorted blobs rushed to his side.

"Sana!"

"Sana-chan!"

"Otouto-kun!"

It took a fourth person restore order – his aunt. But what was his aunt doing at school? Come to think of it, the school infirmary wasn't this nice. That meant he was at… a hospital? How did he end up here?

His friends and relatives quickly explained what had happened. After the incident with Nanaka, the entire scene had dissolved into utter chaos. The class representatives meeting was naturally cancelled, and the club fair was half deserted – as a number of students rushed in to enjoy the free attraction, complete with shouting matches and students pushing and shoving for a better look. But the scene would soon split into two, as Sana was taken to the nurse's office and Nanaka was taken to the… Principal's office.

As for Nanaka, she never had a chance. It was an unenviable position, being outnumbered 6 to 1 – with her homeroom teacher, Yuzuki-sensei, Shuu, Shuri, Aoi, and eventually the Principal inventing dozens of ways of saying the same thing: _How could you?_ In the meantime, the school nurse was concerned enough about Sana's condition to call the local hospital, which is where Miss Oribe entered the picture. And in the end, Nanaka was given two hours' worth of detention (but was not stripped of her class representative duties), while the doctor failed to find any abnormalities (aside from a bruised cheek and a bump in the head), although Sana would be kept overnight for further observation.

Which left just two questions. Just why would Nanaka do something like that? And why did the blow cause him to faint? After all, Nanaka hadn't slapped him _that_ hard. The first question would be shelved for the moment as the doctor came in to explain the second. 'Classic trauma' was how the doctor described it. He went into a lot of technical jargon, but Sana was finally able to obtain a layman's summary: apparently, the slap served as a _trigger_ that brought up a previous _traumatic_ experience – and the body more or less shut down as a self-defense mechanism. The doctor had already asked Miss Oribe for Sana's complete medical records, and found no previous signs of this condition. So it was possible that this was an isolated incident; a fluke if you will – but in the meantime, Sana was advised to treat girls very, very nicely. (No one laughed at this joke.)

Back to the first question. Sana naturally turned to the twins for this one. But they weren't much help – with answers like 'she's been through tough times,' 'It's just a misunderstanding', and 'maybe it's because you didn't recognize her'. Now that was a disappointing performance. A simple 'We don't know' would've sufficed, thank you.

The twins left soon afterwards, and his aunt stepped out to pick up some food, leaving Aoi in the hot seat. She squirmed in her chair, searching for some way out – but finally decided against it and stood up. This was something Sana really needed to know, and she would not hold back.

"Nanaka was hospitalized up until two years ago."

"She was sick?" He had no idea –

"Yes, that's what people called her," Aoi said bitterly. "And lots of other names. She was in a mental institution for two years."

He had no idea that Aoi's voice could reach that low.

"It all started right after you left. She missed you terribly, Sana. We all did. But it was worse for Nanaka than it was for everyone else. She would cry, and start talking to herself. She would start laughing for no reason. And even the smallest things would be enough to set her off. She was all over the place, and no one could help her."

"Why didn't you call me?"

"That wasn't the problem. _You_ should understand – didn't your parents go through a divorce?"

That would explain a lot.

"So, Nanaka's parents got divorced?"

"It was worse than that. A _lot _worse. Her home burned down about a year after you left. Both of her parents were killed, and Nanaka was the only one to survive."

There was a lengthy silence.

"Then… what happened?"

"Nanaka had to go to the hospital. Then it was the police. Then the local news. Then the tabloids. Then it was the police again. But that's not even the worst part. Everyone knew Nanaka's parents had a bad relationship, so people assumed the worst. And the police closed the case and never explained what had happened. And the entire thing was all over the news. It was horrible, Sana. I can't imagine how bad it must have been for Nanaka."

He could guess the rest from there, but there was no need. Aoi was determined to go the distance.

"It was too much for her. She lost all sense of reality after that. She would go off wandering around at night. She couldn't recognize faces. She would laugh or cry at random, and start saying the strangest things. Her uncle and aunt had no choice but to send her to a mental institution. She was there for two years. But she recovered, and started coming to school again."

That was a lot to digest. And he wasn't talking about the food, which had just arrived – along with his aunt.

Sana forced himself to wolf down the food. He was hungry after all, even if he was a bit woozy and in no mood to eat. And it was all because of Nanaka. She had changed so much. Why did this have to happen? The kind and sweet girl who played the violin, and was among the close circle of friends… the person he remembered, and the one he was looking forward to meeting again… she was gone. But this went beyond that. A change in personality, he could have accepted. As for the circle of friends breaking up – well, Aoi had prepared him for that, telling him it wasn't always easy to renew old friendships. But this was just too cruel. A heroine turned villainess; a helping hand that became a violent slap. A warm, soothing presence that became cold and toxic. And something told him that he had only seen a hint of what she could do.

It was a sickening experience, the whole ordeal. And being hospitalized symbolized everything that had gone wrong with his return to Sakuranomori. Yes, he was able to come back, but his aunt and cousin were going to bury him with work and take away all his free time. Shuusuke and Shuri may have been friendly, but they really weren't much help. And Nanaka was the worst of them all. It was a hollow feeling, the kind he typically got when he was wrong, his mother was right, and she was only too happy to remind him of that fact. Speaking of which – _Dang._ Maybe that was why. Right on the mark, as usual.

Perhaps it would've been easier deal with his mother's advice if it didn't come so frequently, and was right so often. But there would be no escape from it, even a hundred miles away from home. It was going to come every night, at (almost) exactly 9:00PM. And he wasn't going to get a break simply because he was in the hospital; Aoi (his aunt had gone back to the apartment) was ready with his cell phone, and it wasn't long before the familiar jingle was heard.

"Sana?"

"Ah. Don't worry; I'm all right."

"Of course you are."

Talk about an unexpected response.

"Your aunt called me earlier and told me what happened."

"_And_?"

"I hope the second day of school goes better for you than the first."

Grumble.

"Sometimes things don't go the way you expect? But you'll get over it. By the way, what was it like meeting your old friends?"

Now she was just rubbing it in. Not only that, it was practically an invitation to dump on them, even if it gave her the pleasure of being right. And gauging from her reaction, he succeeded with flying colors – what did she find so funny about it, anyway?

"Oh, Sana. Don't you remember what I told you on the first night?"

Oh, yes. You were right, I was wrong, and I'm a fool. It seemed like every one of their phone conversations was some variation of that theme. And this one was no exception. She had warned him about his old friends, he hadn't listened, and now thanks to one of them, he was stuck in the hospital.

"Sana, that's not what I meant," she replied with a tired voice. "Think. None of us have given up on you. We all know you have a long way to go, but we're still giving you that chance. Doesn't that mean something to you?"

Sana wondered where this was heading.

"I understand how you feel about your old friends. And you might be right about them. But some day, somewhere, someone is going to give them another chance. I'm not asking you to be their friend, or to be the person to give them that chance. But you have to accept that someone else will."

He _still _had no idea what she wanted him to do.

"What should you do? Just ask your aunt and cousin, and they'll find _something_ for you to do. Do you have any idea how hard they work? And how much they're sacrificing for you? It's about time you found out."

_Click._ That wasn't an answer. And maybe there weren't any.

* * *

There was no question that his mother was on a roll.

She might as well have spelled out what was going to happen. The class representatives meeting was scheduled for the following Saturday. And Nanaka was given the same errand, to show him to the conference room, where the class representatives meeting would be held. Yuzuki-sensei reminded Nanaka to be nice to him and even gave her a caramel for her efforts. Nanaka apologized, gave a small smile, and promised Yuzuki-sensei that she would do her best.

Alas, the smile disappeared as soon as she left the classroom.

Sana followed Nanaka from behind as they walked in silence. It was only broken when Nanaka told him she needed to return some books at the school library, and asked him to wait outside the door.

After two minutes, Sana wandered inside – and quickly learned the awful truth. Nanaka hadn't returned any books; she had simply walked across the library and went through the back exit.

Was this how it felt like to be jilted?

Sana got the directions from the librarian and quickly made his way over to the conference room – he only hoped he wouldn't be late. As it turned out, he wasn't, as the back exit of the library was a handy shortcut.

As for the meeting itself, it was short and without incident. After all, it was just an introductory meeting, with the school principal addressing the representatives. Which would have taken place on the first day of school, if it weren't for _that person_. Well, maybe that's what he should call her from now on.

"Hidaka-san, there's someone waiting for you," one of the fellow representatives (other than _that person_) told him following the meeting. Ah, a smile came so easily to him now. A gentle face with a hint of excitement, a light complexion with subtle signs of color. A graceful presence, filled with warmth. And of course, the violin. A reunion? It felt like one for some reason, even though he had met Asami only a few days ago. A chance to catch up on each other's past, and make up for the lost time. An opportunity to recall, and relive, some of his fondest moments. And a hope for the future, the chance to make new, and better, memories… just the thought was enough to stir his blood. And hopefully, their first session would be the first of many; a sign of things to come…

Alas, reality would soon hit full force.

The entire session was a struggle. Sana wasn't used to accompanying another instrument, and Asami hadn't played with an accompanist very often – and the few times she had, it had always been with a pro. Not to mention that Sana was utterly unfamiliar with most of the pieces she had, and was forced to sight-read for the most part – which was not his strength. He'd need a few days' practice before he had any chance of keeping up with Asami's playing.

So they decided to end the session early, and agreed to meet again once Sana had a chance to practice. But before leaving, Asami asked him to play something. Finally, a chance to do something right for once. And the perfect opportunity to pull off the Fantasy Impromptu – the piece he'd been working on for so long. He managed to get through the piece with flair, and earned an eager applause afterwards. There was hope for him yet.

Asami was already starting to pack up when Sana thought of something – was there a chance she knew this song? The song that was still a part of his memories; one he still played from time to time. The half-finished song. Perhaps the most precious gift of them all – the only one that remained after all those years. One he found himself humming, then fingering the melody on the piano. The chords soon followed, and he was now playing it in earnest, though the ending would still elude him…

"Oh, I know this piece," Asami remarked. "It's an old folk song, I think. I have the sheet music at home, if you want."

"Can you bring it next time? I only know the first half of the song."

Ah, the puzzled look. Hadn't he seen this before?

"No, no. That's the second half," she explained. And that was the cue for her to pick up her violin, and play the first half of the song. Then she gave him a sign, and he started to accompany her as she played the second half. _In sync. At last._

"Sana, do you have time later in the afternoon?" Asami asked him as she was putting her violin away.

Oh, only if he did. There were three reasons why he didn't, and they all happened to have the same last name.

"Shuu, Shuri and I usually volunteer at the retirement home on Saturday afternoon. It would be great if you could come along. Meet us at the bus stop in front of the school at 3:30 if you can make it."

Now this made things even more tempting – maybe it was worth a shot? It was at least worth a phone call – there was still the slight chance of getting a favorable answer.

To Sana's surprise, his aunt approved wholeheartedly, and he was now in the clear. Or was he? For there was a certain long-haired stalker who had been listening in… to all the conversations, and especially to the half-finished song that was now complete…

* * *

There was a surprise guest at the bus stop.

"Nanaka?"

"Yatsushiro-san?"

Count on the twins to break the ice.

"Ohayo," Nanaka replied simply.

A look from Shuri, and Asami and Sana replied in kind.

"It's about time," Shuri remarked. "What made you decide to come?"

"I guess you were right. It was about time. It's been a while since all of us have gone out like this – too bad Aoi can't come."

"Oh, is _that_ the only reason?" Shuri teased, giving Nanaka a little nudge.

Shuri then whispered something in Nanaka's ear, earning her a nudge in return – and all was well. It looked like those two had already made up.

For Sana however, it was always going to be a tougher road. Just what had gone wrong? And why did things have to be so difficult? If she was mad at him, fine. The least she could do was to tell him _why_, and he'd either do something about the situation or get out of her life. Although the latter was getting harder and harder to do, with Nanaka getting shoved into his life all the time. Maybe he just had to face reality and accept that he was stuck in this situation.

Reality. Yes, the reality was that it didn't have to be _this_ hard. Was it hard for Aoi, Shuu, and Shuri? _No._ Heck, it was easier going with Asami, and he'd only known her for a short time. Not to mention she was gentle, pretty, and could play the violin really well…

Sana shook his head. He was traveling down a dangerous road – hadn't he learned _something_ from all the conversations with his mother? And he could already see the disappointed expression on Aoi's face, even if Nanaka was no longer a close friend of hers. As for his aunt, this was one of the few times he had gotten her to bend – he didn't want to face the consequences if he made a mess out of this. He would have to grit this one out.

The bus came to a stop.

It was a short walk to the retirement home, where they would be volunteering for the afternoon. It was a surprisingly well-maintained facility, filled with nice amenities throughout. There was the recreation room, which had a TV, several computers, a pool table, a shelf filled with board games, and even the latest video game systems. The cafeteria was closed in preparation for dinner, but based on the scent and general appearance, seemed to be up to par – and perhaps even beyond. Then there was the billboard with a list of upcoming activities, which included karaoke night, camping, visit to the museum, and even a trip to watch a local sumo tournament. And there seemed to be no shortage of clubs, either – as a number of them were recruiting new members, at least according to the billboard.

And the people there were no less interesting. There was the video game whiz who challenged Shuu to a match in a fighting game – and pummeled Shuu with increasing ease, as Shuu grew more and more frustrated with each loss. Then there was the sports fanatic who seemed know every statistic imaginable – and would even update them while the game was in progress. There was the "iron lady" who had served as a judge in her day – and would tell stories about all the loony people she came across and the equally daft cases, and how she put everyone in their places. And there was a retired Go professional who would play blind games while giving a nine-stone handicap.

The last person they would be visiting would be a recent addition to the community. Her name was Koishiwa Kajihara, although everyone called her Grandma Kaji. She used to be a tea ceremony instructor and still liked to wear traditional clothing. She also had a pet bird named Pi and a pet cat named Poe, though Pi had apparently flown away one day when someone carelessly left the cage open. She was also a favorite among the neighborhood kids and used to invite them over for tea and cookies – and her young granddaughter would often play with them.

Then, her granddaughter died.

"Accidental overdose" was what they called it. But Grandma Kaji was inconsolable after her granddaughter's death. She was known to do strange things afterwards. She would walk around a certain sakura tree, and start mumbling to herself. She would dig holes in the ground with her bare hands. Or fill boxes with lucky charms and wooden idols. Finally, she had to be hospitalized – and after a brief stay, she was sent to this retirement home, where she was able to mostly recover – though she was still prone to nightmares and occasional fits.

At this point, the group was starting to have second thoughts. Shuri and Shuu backed out almost immediately, while Sana and Asami were considering doing the same. But Nanaka pushed through all of them and boldly entered Grandma Kaji's room, only to be greeted with –

"Motoko!"

What the?!

"Motoko! Why haven't you visited me for so long?"

Nanaka took a step back – and a worker explained. Motoko was the name of Grandma Kaji's granddaughter. And judging from the picture on top of the dresser, the resemblance was there – though Motoko's hair was a bit more brownish, and her face was a bit rounder – not to mention that she had been ten years old when she died.

"I'm sorry," Grandma Kaji apologized, catching herself. "I keep telling myself that she won't be coming. She was such a sweet child, that Motoko. She always visited me whenever I was sick. She was – " referring to Nanaka – "a lot like you. She was always the ringleader whenever the kids came over, and loved playing with them."

She gazed over at the picture once more, and asked to have it brought to her. As Sana was the tallest person in the room, he did so – then took a step back as Grandma Kaji continued to talk to Nanaka. "You see, this was Motoko. It was taken a year and a half ago. See her smile? She was always a happy person, and had a lot of friends. She always got good grades at school and was really good with the violin – she even took part in several competitions. I think I still have her violin somewhere – could you check in the closet?"

It was up to Sana to do the honors again. There was indeed a violin case in the closet, and he placed it on the bed, next to the chair Grandma Kaji was sitting in.

"Seeing you (that is, Nanaka) – reminds me of what Motoko would've become. I'm sure she would've been a beautiful lady with so many good friends, just like you – "

She paused, before continuing.

"Can you play the violin? It would be nice to hear you play her violin again."

Nanaka instinctively took a step backward.

"Come on, Nanaka," Sana encouraged.

"Oh, so you can play the violin?" Grandma Kaji asked.

Before Nanaka could respond, Sana immediately vouched for her. Not only was she good at the violin, she had won a competition and played a duet with him in the honors recital – all at the age of ten. She had been the local prodigy back in the day.

Alas, all this earned Sana was a piercing glare, as Nanaka turned around and started to walk out –

"Wait! Nanaka, why don't you just play?" Sana asked, catching her by the arm.

She shook him off and marched out of the room without saying another word. Gees, not _again_ – would things ever get better between them?

In the meantime, Sana had almost forgotten that Asami was still in the room, who was now talking to Grandma Kaji. Asami took out the violin from the case – and almost immediately, her face fell. And it was easy to see why. The strings were rusted and wouldn't stay in tune; the bow hair had turned black and lost all grip; and to top it off, the violin was a few sizes too small. And the sound? More like a cross between nails scratching a chalkboard and squeals from a dying pig.

Over Grandma Kaji's protests, Asami promised to bring her own violin next time. And yes, Sana would play along, if they could find a keyboard somewhere. Yes, they would ask Nanaka to play again. No, they weren't sure whether she would. And no, for the last time, Asami would be bringing her own violin, instead of playing Motoko's old violin.

So that ended their visit.

The bus ride home, alas, was another adventure altogether. Nanaka wouldn't talk to anyone; Shuri berated him for being insensitive to Nanaka; Shuu more or less agreed with Shuri; and Asami did her best to stay out of the line of fire. They couldn't have done a better job of telling him that he was no longer welcome – was this the end?

* * *

"Are you all right?" Aoi asked him.

Compared to what just happened, cleaning the laundry room was a piece of cake. At least the tiles couldn't talk back.

She put her hand on his shoulder. "Can you tell me what happened?"

Sana scrubbed the tiles with a bit more force before explaining the situation. "Do you know what's wrong with Nanaka?"

"Hmm?"

"All I did was to ask her to play the violin. Why would she make a scene and stomp off?"

"You know that she doesn't play the violin anymore, right?"

Of course; the twins told him that during the bus ride home – then blamed him for not knowing. Now that was just unfair. How was he supposed to know?

"Maybe it was just a misunderstanding. But I don't know what you can do about this, otouto-kun."

So it wasn't as simple as saying "I'm sorry". He'd figured that much out already.

"You have to be – careful – around Nanaka. Haven't you noticed? Even the teachers are scared of her. She seems fine most of the time, but you never know what will set her off. And no one wants to be the person to send her back to the hospital."

That explained why the twins were so protective of her, but there was still something unjust about all of this.

"I miss the old days too, otouto-kun. But it's just the same anymore. Can't you feel it? There's something – different. It seems like everyone's busy now, doing their own thing. And everyone has their own worries. Own lives. And it's not just Nanaka who's having problems. The twins are going through a lot, too. And somewhere, we drifted away. I guess we could still call each other friends, but there is something missing. I don't know what happened to it, otouto-kun."

A moment of silence. Deep inside, both of them were thinking about the same thing – was it too much to ask for? Was it possible to regain that magic that had surrounded them for so many years? To find the spark that would restore what they once had?

Sana started to speak, but Aoi continued. "I know. It's kind of sad, really. But maybe there's nothing we can do. Even if there is, maybe we should just leave things alone. Don't worry about Nanaka; she still has her uncle and aunt and her shrine work. It might take a while, but I think she'll be all right. Shuri and Shuu will be fine, too. Maybe we won't be as close to them as we once were, but as long as they all make it through, it'll be OK…"

Ah, the forlorn look. And this time it was genuine.

"Or maybe there's hope?" Aoi offered. "Maybe there's a way to bring everyone back. Just let me handle this, otouto-kun. I'll try to think of something."

He hoped she would; he didn't want things to stay like this. And if today's events were any indication, there wasn't much he could do about it – it was up to Aoi now.


	4. III: Journey

**III**** - Journey**

It was a depressing week.

One of the first things Sana did that week was to apologize to Nanaka for the incident at the retirement home. Alas, he would only receive a blank look before she walked away. At least Aoi had warned him that it would turn out like this.

Things didn't get much better during lunch time. As it turned out, Sana wasn't kicked out of the lunch group, but he might as well have been. The twins would mostly exchange whispers amongst themselves, and shut out everyone else. Asami would occasionally talk to him, but only about the music they were playing. And Nanaka refused to speak to anyone. And this time, Aoi wasn't there to smooth things over.

Luck was definitely not on his side.

Schoolwork was starting to become more and more difficult. And his work schedule was really picking up now. Cleaning. Landscaping. Learning about the water and electricity systems. Making all kinds of little repairs. Carrying boxes here and there. It was never an easy road, but this week seemed to be an especially steep climb – there was one time when he had to work three hours on a school day, much of it hard labor. He was so exhausted afterwards that he could barely stay awake, let alone do his school assignments properly.

Practice sessions with Asami was one of his few moments of respite, but even that was going to be cut to twice a week – thanks to his newfound work schedule. But at least this was one area where he was making progress; they were starting to get the hang of it on a couple pieces and they talked about adding one or two more to the list. Sana promised to practice whenever he could, but he wasn't sure if he could live up to his word – his only chances to play were during their practice sessions and perhaps for an hour after dinner. And on the days he had a lot of work, forget it.

And of course, the student representatives' meetings.

Oh yes, it was yet another one of his _responsibilities_. He knew this had been a bad idea from day one. And that was even before he became stuck with _that person_ – it had gotten to the point where even being in the same room with her became draining. Every word spoken to her had to be chosen carefully. Facial expressions, body language – she seemed to pick up on _everything_, and a cold glance greeted anyone, any _thing_, that displeased her. And no one wanted to know what would happen if someone made a mistake, like –

_**– CRASH –**_

Did he say that luck wasn't on his side lately? Well, it looked like he had just added seven years to that total. Everyone's eyes – not just Nanaka's – were on him now. This was going to get ugly quickly, unless –

_Whew_. His rescuer arrived, violin case in hand. After offering a hurried apology to Nanaka and promising her to buy her a new mirror, he rushed out of the room as fast as he could.

* * *

"Sana, didn't you play a little fast on that part?"

He had. Actually, it was a minor miracle that he managed to play it at all – instead of the random, jumbled mess that was now filling his brain.

Somehow he managed to play it correctly the second time around. They were about to move onto the next piece when – should he bring it up? Asami was a girl after all, so she might be able to help. So Sana explained to her what had happened.

"Oh, I know a place where they sell those. Do you have a little time after practice? It's not far from school."

The rest of the practice went reasonably well; thank goodness. And as promised, Asami showed him the store where he could buy a replacement mirror – then quickly left, just as Sana made his way inside.

Somewhere, a long-haired girl nodded in approval.

Browsing around the store at least gave him a chance to slow down – things had been going much too fast lately. Was it always going to be like this? It was always one thing after another. Even now, he could envision another couple hours of labor waiting for him once he got home. Then facing homework problems he couldn't solve, and having to ask Aoi for help. The dreaded phone call – his mother seemed to practically relish in his struggles. And finally, collapsing in a heap and having his world turn black – before a piercing sound prematurely brought him back into this world. And he didn't want to even think about Sundays, the worst day of them all. Early wakeup call. Nonstop work until early afternoon. A crushing amount of homework, which took until the wee hours of the morning – if he managed to finish it at all. A longer phone call with mother. Having to deal with his aunt and cousin's mock cheerfulness and empty encouragement. He was going to have to do something about this, and soon. Maybe Nanaka's case was a bit extreme, but he was _this close_ to going over the edge.

Speaking of Nanaka, what kind of mirror would be best? He quickly decided against the Hello Kitty compact and the Yeti-chan one was out as well. There was an olive-green one with a drawing of an ugly toad that he was tempted to buy, just to see how she would react – but decided that the last thing he wanted to do was to dig himself into a deeper hole. Ah. A plain circular one that was jet-black in color. Simple and elegant; it would do nicely.

Now that his errand was finished, it was back to the apartment, where Aoi would be waiting for him with a smile – and a lengthy scroll of tasks. And this day was no different, though having Aoi by his side at least made things more bearable. At least she had no shortage of things to talk about. She seemed to be quite worried for her friends. Most of them were studying for college entrance exams; they (along with Aoi) were third-year students, after all. Aoi was the only one among the circle who had no plans to go to college; she planned to stay at Sakuranomori and take over much of her mother's duties at the apartment.

A hint of sadness. Wasted opportunities? Sana couldn't help thinking that way, even if that was what Aoi really wanted out of her life. Her grades were excellent; she was near the top of her class. Surely she would be able to get into a good college if she really tried. And her writing – now that was something else. So creative; always finding a way to draw interest from the most ordinary things. There was a short story about a young boy who was learning to ride a bike, and was held from behind and encouraged by his father – only, the boy was an orphan, and there had never been anyone behind him all along. A somewhat longer story about a young girl who aspired to become a musician, and even made it all the way through music school – only to learn that her skills fell short of professional level. Another one about a talented artist who was destined for greatness – only to be held back by a traumatic event, and later betrayed and deserted by those closest to her…

It was somewhat disturbing, honestly.

Maybe that's why she tried so hard to be cheerful. She was now talking about the light novel series she was following; the magical girls were now on vacation at the hot springs, only to be hit on by just about every male they came across – and having to defend themselves from peeping toms. And her current story. Unlike her previous stories, this was a much more mundane affair. It was about an ordinary young salaryman who was struggling to find meaning in his life. Until, he noticed a young woman who always seemed to be on the same train on his way to work…

Ah, the typical romance.

But Aoi was looking for a little more. Sana could guess this much, based on what she had told him. She had a few ideas; they all had some potential, but were rather standard fare. Wacky characters. Little misunderstandings and mishaps. Then development and progress. Fulfillment?

That's when Sana realized what was missing from the story. This wasn't like Aoi at all. All of this seemed a little forced; a light-hearted story with the sole purpose of generating a happy ending. It was the kind of story that would leave one with a grin – yet would come and go, like passing of the wind. And maybe that was exactly why. Happiness was something that _never_ lasted. It might be there at one point, but it would disappear without fail. Be torn apart. Broken to pieces, and ground to dust. And even if it was built up again, it would only set up the inevitable fall –

So why was the voice still there?

_All you really have to do is to try. There's something magical that you need to find. And once you do, and as long as you really work at it, and face each day with a smile, you will eventually be rewarded… _

It was a lie. He knew it was a lie. It had to be a lie… but why did he find himself succumbing to it? He looked at Aoi – was the same thing happening to her?

Ah, the smile.

He couldn't tell whether it was real or faked, but it calmed him anyway. For even if the smile wasn't real, there was something that was. Something that would last, longer than the fleeting memories of his childhood, and the flashes of exhilaration that moved him still…

"Sana?"

The smile was returned.

"I was thinking. You've been working really hard, Sana. So – I thought you deserved a little reward."

He could picture it now – being patted on the head and being given a bone-shaped biscuit while being called otouto-kun. He supposed that was his cue to wag his tail and bark out onee-san, but there was no way he was going to stoop that low.

"So, what you think of Sunday next week? I thought about arranging a trip for the whole group. It'll be like the old times. You, me, Shuri, Shuu, and Nanaka. How about going to the mountains? We can go hiking and fishing. Pack a bento, and eat lunch by the creek. Spend some time catching up; it's been so long since we've gone out as a group. What do you think, Sana?"

"How about Asami?" After all, there was a new member in the group now.

"Hoshino-san – I don't think she can make it. It's on a Sunday. She has mass."

Mass?

"Didn't you know? Hoshino-san is Catholic. She has church on Sunday. And I think she helps out at the nursery, too."

Ah. He didn't know whether to be disappointed or not. Considering his own religious affiliation (or lack thereof), maybe it was time to put a red X through her name – not that he ever had a chance in the first place.

"Don't worry, otouto-kun – I'll take care of everything. Just relax and have fun – I'm sure this will be a great trip.

_Relax_ – now that was something he hadn't done in a while.

* * *

Not surprisingly, it turned out to be a fib.

It was just one thing after another. Miss Oribe's new work schedule might as well have come with skull and crossbones – it even got a reaction from Aoi. The twins and Nanaka had their own plans for Sunday, and would have to do some haggling to clear up their schedules. Asami – was put in the doubtful category. And planning for the trip itself proved a bit more challenging than first thought. Phone calls. Internet searches. Lists and ideas. Discussions. Food preparations. This was supposed to be a vacation – so why did it take so much hard work?

If that wasn't enough, the trip seemed to be getting a less than enthusiastic response. Miss Oribe tried her best to remain neutral – though her work schedule spoke for itself. The twins seemed to think it was a bit of a hassle. Nanaka hardly spoke to them at all. And his mother? No question; if she had money riding on this, she would surely bet on the trip to fail.

And Saturday was nothing short of a nightmare. Aoi and Sana got an early wake-up call and had to work for an hour _before _going to school. (Miss Oribe did make them breakfast, but still…) As for practice with Asami? Visit to the retirement home? Forget it. In reality, he was even excused from the student representatives meeting, as he had orders (and a note) from Miss Oribe to return home immediately (but at least he had the satisfaction of dragging Shuu to the meeting instead – served him right).

Lunch was a box of rice balls from the convenience store and instant miso soup. And then? Well, he supposed this was supposed to be the fun part. Replacing pipes, and installing a new water filter. Gardening – cutting overgrown shrubs, mowing the grass, and watering all the potted plants. Digging out stones and bricks, so a new walkway could be built. Scrubbing the tiles in the laundry room, and sweeping and mopping the floor. And that was only part of the list; Aoi had the other half.

Dinner wasn't served until 7:00PM, though Miss Oribe decided to splurge and order Thai takeout. And Sana was soon presented with a dilemma: to eat fast, to fight the hunger and exhaustion that was consuming him; or eat more slowly, and hope that it would cut into the time that he would have to work. In the end, his animal instincts won out over logic and he devoured his food rather quickly. And from the looks of it, he wasn't alone in doing this.

Miss Oribe did the dishes while Sana made some pitiful attempts to play the piano – it was mistake after mistake. Even Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star (actually, Mozart's 12 variations) proved to be too tough a piece for him as his fingers failed him somewhere in the middle of Variation 1, his eyes shut down a few measures after that, and his brain froze around Variation 3 (or was it 4? He might have skipped one somewhere). Finally he gave up and crashed into a chair; the sofa was already occupied – the day hadn't been much easier for Aoi.

But even that wouldn't last. It was now time to do homework – per the dictator's orders. They were to finish their homework before they would be allowed to go on the trip; or at the very least, as much as possible. Alas, it became obvious very quickly that neither of them had even a ghost of a chance of finishing, especially since the dictator had cut off all sources of caffeine. They were still at least two hours away from finishing when they were shuttled off to bed.

And the morning? Ah. Aoi had promised to do the cooking, which meant Sana – had to do absolutely everything else. Packing. Phone calls. Last-minute checks. Cleaning up after Aoi in the kitchen. And finally! The feeling of freedom, once they walked through the door. A shared laugh, and a sigh of relief. Anticipation. Excitement. A moment that they would always have, no matter how the trip went – could the trip itself live up to its promise?

* * *

Ah, the feeling of déjà vu.

There was another surprise guest at the bus stop, only this one had lighter hair. And in a mild upset, everyone else was also there, on time and in high spirits.

Aoi was the one to start things off. "Asami? How were you able to come? We thought you wouldn't be able to make it."

"I didn't think so either – but it worked out. They let me attend the 8:00 mass today. And they found some else to help out at Sunday School." _And I owe them one_, she left unsaid.

"I had to do double duty yesterday," Nanaka chimed in. "Uncle is really strict about these things. I was lucky I was able to come at all."

"…" Not much a response from the twins. Well, if they had pulled off a jail break, it was their own business.

The mood continued to be light as they rode the bus to their destination – a nearby campground, which served as a hub for various trails. The one they chose was a three-mile hike deep into the forest, to a shady area with several running creeks and a small pond off to the side. There, they planned to eat lunch and hang around for a few hours – until it was time to go home. That was the plan, anyway.

And the first part of the plan went off without a hitch – well, Asami had forgotten to bring water, but trusty Aoi had an extra bottle handy. And lunch was a jovial affair; Aoi's bentos were a big hit, and so was Asami's store-bought cherry pie – though they mostly gorged on the snacks that the twins had brought. And Nanaka had brought a bottle of Coke to wash it all down, which quickly disappeared. Ah, nothing like junk food.

The group split up following lunch. Nanaka went off by herself, wandering a bit further down the creek, while the remaining girls sat in place and talked. As for the guys? This time, it was Shuu's turn to drag Sana along, as they made their way to the nearby pond – with fishing gear in hand.

"It's been a while," Shuu mentioned, once both of them had settled in. "We really haven't had a lot of time to hang out. I guess we've all been busy lately."

Now that was an understatement.

"Yeah, I wish we had more time," Shuu continued. "That's what Shuri always says. She always complains that I don't take her out more often. But it's tough. Something always comes up. Homework. Soccer practice. And her tennis. It gets really frustrating sometimes. I know, I know. I should find a way, and make the time. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

No, he didn't.

"It's nice to hang out like this once in a while. And just relax – there's been so much stuff going on. Have you noticed that Shuri's been on the edge lately?"

It was hard not to, but of course Sana couldn't say that.

"Something's been bothering her. This is just between you and me, but she snaps at people sometimes – and she can get really scary when she gets mad. And then she'll get upset and cry. Why is that? What happened to her smile? It's been so long since I've seen it."

None of this was exactly new information to him, but Sana feigned a surprise anyway.

"I don't know what I can do anymore. All I want is to make her happy. But how? I try to talk to her and take her out as often as I can. And I do everything I can to help her. And I would do more, if I could – do you know? Is it how things are with you and Aoi?"

Now that was a strange choice of words, but from a certain angle – well, Sana supposed it was true enough. Not that he ever thought of it _that_ way.

"Sorry for bothering you with all this. I know, it sounds stupid. Maybe I'm getting worried over nothing. Don't you wish we could go back to those times, when we could play all day and never have to worry about anything?"

Those days had never existed, now that Sana thought about it. Oh well; maybe he should just play along, as long as it made Shuu feel better.

"Hey, I know you're busy, but give me a call when you're free. Maybe we can hang out. I still haven't shown you the karaoke place. They've redone the whole place – there's a big arcade now. They even have the Hatsune Miku machine where you get to wave the leek and sing at the same time."

Sana couldn't have been much more eager in his response. At last, he could give a straight answer.

Things slowed down from there as they moved on to lighter topics. Like the student representatives meeting. The school festival had been pushed back, since it was too close to the town festival. They were going to move it to fall, since the senior class field trip was cancelled due to budget cuts. Aye, Aoi wasn't going to be too happy about that. The administrators were also thinking of removing the vending machines from school, due to cost and litter – a proposal that was met with unanimous, and rather passionate, opposition. Schoolwork. They were in agreement that it had gone from bad to worse, with Yuzuki-sensei's topics the worst of them all. The average score on the last physics test was around 60%, and the next one promised to be even worse – especially with Yuzuki-sensei telling horror stories from her college days (apparently, a 60% average was considered to be "high"). The latest Mixed Martial Arts matches. Apparently, the current middleweight champion decided to show up in a Tuxedo Mask costume before one of his matches, and even threw bouquets of roses into the crowd after a big victory (including one to his wife – she was dressed as Sailor Moon).

In between, Sana managed to catch a frog, while Shuu did catch a fish – though it was one of those inedible types. The hours passed by quickly, and it was time to go back.

* * *

Oh, he should have seen this coming.

It was fate. No matter how much he wanted to avoid _that person_, she kept coming back.

He knew _something_ was up when he saw Aoi talking to Nanaka on the bus. And Aoi seemed rather animated for some reason. He had enough sense to know that when girls got excited, it was usually bad for the guys.

This was no exception.

So Nanaka had invited herself over to the apartment, and planned to stay for dinner (she had already called her aunt and uncle). Great. So now he was stuck with her, _again_. This was getting ridiculous. Wouldn't it be better to just cut the string and tie things off, instead of seeing it unravel even further?

But Nanaka was going to keep trying, so he was forced to do so as well. It was this word called _politeness_, a dirty term that would often override common sense. And failing to worship it would lead to grave consequences – perhaps worse than anything Nanaka herself could come up with.

And so, dinner was a civil affair.

Sana wondered whether their faces ever got tired from having to smile like that all the time. Or how they found the patience to talk about inane topics at length. Or how they managed to hide their true feelings about Nanaka – which they made known to him a number of times in the past, even before the hospital incident. While his mother called it an "essential social skill", Sana couldn't help but think that there was something inherently dishonest about all of this.

Sana somehow managed to survive the dinner, and immediately made his way over to the piano – he could use a break. Just for a little while, a chance to forget. Relax. And make up for all the days he couldn't practice; the gap between his playing and Asami's was only growing wider.

Alas, even that would be denied.

Nanaka and Aoi soon made their way to the piano. And Nanaka made a number of requests – despite his insistence that he was lousy at sight-reading, and even worse at playing by ear. But there was one he could play, thanks to Asami – the song that Nanaka had played at his farewell party.

Somehow, it sounded incomplete without the violin.

No, it wasn't because he was playing the accompaniment part – Asami had gotten him a piano solo version. It was that piercing, haunting quality that only a violin could bring – or at the very least, a more skilled pianist. He knew it had something to do with having a better touch and creative pedal work. But at this point, he was having trouble playing all the notes, let alone refine his techniques. And mentally, he just wasn't all there – and perhaps that was the root of the problem.

He was tired. Tired from the trip, and from lack of sleep. Tired from all the work he had to do, and the schoolwork that was piling up. Tired from having to deal with Nanaka all the time. Tired of being reminded of his past; no, having it shoved into his face. And tired of having to put on a mask all the time, pretending to be cheerful and energetic in front of everyone when what he really wanted to do was to collapse in a heap somewhere and not wake up for a very, very long time. Willpower could only go so far – it was only a matter of time before his body shut down on him.

But not yet. Nanaka had gone inside with Miss Oribe to have a private talk. And Aoi went inside to finish her homework. So he would be given a chance to recover. Now that he thought about it, perhaps that had been the purpose of the trip. To be renewed, and regain the energy needed to take care of their duties. To strengthen the bond that seemed unbreakable at one point, but was now in danger of falling apart. And to clear up any misunderstandings, and the thick air, that had risen amongst them. And just maybe, this was true for Nanaka as well?

After a little while, Nanaka announced she was leaving – and Sana was asked to walk her home. All of a sudden, doing his homework became a lot more appealing – but did he have a choice?

Sana fought the temptation to ditch Nanaka as they made their way to her home. But at least Nanaka was in a better mood, though admittedly, she had nowhere to go but up. So she _was_ capable of being like this, after all. Confident. Cheerful. To the point. Not at all like the Nanaka of old – yet distinctive qualities, all the same. Maybe there was hope for her yet.

They stopped under a street light, next to the shrine where Nanaka lived.

"Sana," Nanaka called out as he was about to head back. "I really had a lot of fun today. Thank you for the trip."

"You should thank Aoi."

"I already did. She told me how hard you worked to make this happen. I – we all – owe you a lot."

"Thanks."

"And tonight, I was thinking – how it's always been like this. You've always been the one to give. Do you remember the culture festival? That was when you gave me this bracelet. And this week, the new mirror to replace the one that broke. And now, this trip. I wish there was something I could do to repay you."

Nanaka took a few steps toward him – and Sana instinctively took a step back.

Nanaka opened her hands. "I know this isn't much – but I found this in the creek today. It's the clearest stone I've ever seen. I thought it was a piece of glass at first. Do you want to take a look?"

It was strange, to tell the truth – both the stone and the overall atmosphere.

"I want you to have it. And remember. Maybe – I hope – there will be more days like today. Oh, Sana, and feel free to visit the shrine whenever you're free. I usually work there in the afternoons."

"Bye," Sana said hurriedly, before jogging away. Did he say strange? Never mind; this was downright bizarre. It was time for him to make his escape, before his brain became even more scrambled – it was suffering from overload at the moment.

And that's how this memorable Sunday ended – except for the pile of homework still waiting for him at the apartment, that is. And it left Sana with a lot to think about. What should he do about his friends, and especially Nanaka? He knew how his mother felt about them; and she would undoubtedly remind him once again during her call. As for Nanaka – if he was reading this right – his mother would be all over that one. This was going to be an interesting conversation, to be sure. And his aunt? Something told him that she was less than convinced by Nanaka's efforts, and rather wary of the twins. And frankly, there were times when he felt like casting all of them to the side and start over.

But it seemed wrong. Especially after today. A day when promises were fulfilled, and hopes were renewed. When the wreckage was sorted, and a new foundation built. Maybe it could happen. Maybe there was that chance of a miracle. Transformation. Didn't he sense it? Didn't he see it happening, right in front of him? Why shouldn't he believe? Why shouldn't he hope? Surely, the reward was there for the taking – not just for him, but for everyone else. Maybe his mother and aunt were right. Maybe his friends had done something horrible. But wasn't it his mother who brought up the subject of redemption? If it was possible for him, it had to be possible for them, as well. And denying them that opportunity – would be an act of betrayal. He couldn't, he wouldn't, do something like that. No, as long as there was a chance, he would hold onto it with all his might. And hopefully, he, along with his friends, would reach their destination – a promised land, where there would be joys and smiles, meaning in everything they did, and memories that would last a lifetime…


	5. IV: Party

**IV**** - Party**

Talk about a change of pace.

Maybe dancing and singing, _Ding dong, the witch is dead! _would be a bit much. But the dictator _was_ away on business for the next few days, with a (rather lengthy) list being the only reminder of her presence. And that meant – _Parties! The karaoke center! Tons of free time!_

Well, no.

Had he already forgotten that that there was still one Oribe around? As long as at least one of them was there, the rules were going to be enforced – in full. And while Aoi might have been a bit new at this, she had learned from the best – and it showed.

So, today was the day to do the monthly cleaning. And that meant he had to clean the bathrooms. And not just his own; there were two others in the Oribe apartment. Boy, there was going to be no shortage of excitement on this day.

It _was_ different, Sana could concede that much. And just a few minutes into class, there was already another change. Aoi wouldn't have enough time to go grocery shopping, so they would be going to a nearby family restaurant for dinner. Well, at least that beat having to scrounge around for leftovers, or having Aoi teach him how to cook (she had promised to do that sometime later in the week).

And by morning break, there was another entry in the category, "What doesn't belong in this picture?" A group of boys were playing keepaway with a school bag, with its owner frantically running to and fro, trying to recover her bag. This went on for a little while until, under severe pressure, one of the boys made an ill-advised pass that was tipped and picked off – and the bag returned to its owner.

"Nice, Shuu," Sana remarked as he arrived on the scene. The owner was now clutching the bag, hugging it tight with both arms. "But why is she at our school?"

"She's just here for a couple of hours to take some advanced classes. She has to go to her own school after this."

Wait a minute. Her appearance, that uniform – didn't that mean she was an elementary school student? Just how old was she, anyway?

Sana turned to ask, but she had already run off. Poor kid; she was probably late to her class.

* * *

Maybe change wasn't such a bad thing.

Alas, the law of probability was starting to catch up. Classes. More classes. Homeworks. Projects. Announcements for future exams. Exams returned. There were rumors going around that last year's graduating class had been rather lackluster, which would explain the growing workload. And as long as Yuzuki-sensei was still around, there would be at least two nightmare subjects. She had lived up to her promise on the last physics exam – and then some. Sana had received 42% on the exam, and as it turned out, that wasn't even a bad score. Chemistry wasn't quite as bad, but it was the equivalent of being punched in the gut after being kneed in the head; everyone was shell-shocked by that point. At this rate, Sana wondered whether anyone would be able to survive long enough to take the final exams.

Lunchtime went on as usual, with the party of five – minus Aoi. Most of the time was spent complaining about classes (yes, Yuzuki-sensei was everyone's favorite target) or cleaning duties (Nanaka was the only one who was on the hook this week). Club activities was the other popular topic. Shuusuke's team wasn't doing so well, and would probably end the season below .500; Shuri was mowing down local and regional competition, and had received invitations to several big tournaments. As for Asami? She had a violin competition coming up, and was also thinking about playing a duet with Sana at some point. But they hadn't found a good opportunity (or a piece) to perform.

And the afternoon classes? He would be lucky to stay awake, as the lunch coma hit him at full force. It didn't help that the most boring classes – such as Japanese history or literature – were usually scheduled at that time. At least those vending machines were still there; it was times like this when he needed caffeine and sugar very badly.

Not that he was terribly looking forward to the end of school. No class representatives meeting or rehearsal today, so it was straight to the apartment, after meeting Aoi at the gate. And Aoi didn't waste any time. Sana was to start by cleaning up his room and vacuuming the floor; only then would he move on to his real task – cleaning his bathroom. Only after passing the inspection would he be allowed to move on to the bathrooms in the Oribe apartment. It was painstaking, hard, and dirty work. And just when he thought he had finished, he was told to bleach everything down. Oh, yuck. Now that smell was something; he was going to be stuck with that odor for some time to come.

After he was done, he was told to take a shower and wear something "nice". Thankfully the shower got rid of most of the nauseating scent, and he was able to find a decent pair of slacks and a stylish sweater. As for Aoi – hmm. Now that was a new look; she was wearing her contacts, stockings that went above her knees, a rather conservative one-piece dress, while carrying a matching handbag. Had she suddenly aged a few years?

It was a relaxing walk to the family restaurant, where they would be having their dinner. More stories from Aoi – she had decided to at least take the mock exams for college; the door was left ajar for now, though it probably wouldn't make any difference in the end. Her friends were grateful for adding another study partner, and were urging her to apply. There was more pressure from her guidance counselor, who insisted that Aoi was a slam-dunk to make it to at least a second-level college, and had a good chance to make it to a top-level one. Sometimes Sana wondered whether they were really related; his grades were a far cry from hers and he'd be thrilled to make it to even a second-level college.

They had settled in their seats and started looking at the menu when Sana noticed something – or some_one_. Was it her? From the side, it was tough to tell, but a wave grabbed her attention – and Sana realized that it _was_. What a strange sight, seeing an elementary school girl sitting all by herself at a restaurant. And she didn't seem to be waiting for anyone, either.

A probing glance was tossed in Aoi's direction, which was met by a look of approval. So Sana motioned the girl to join them at their table, and introductions soon followed. The girl was indeed the one he had seen earlier in the day. Her name was Hinako Mochida, and she was in the fifth grade (but planned to enter junior high in the following year). This meant she was ten years old, though her birthday was coming up this weekend. But she wouldn't be able to celebrate it with her parents. That's because they were away. They were always away. That's why she was all alone at this restaurant in the first place; her parents had left 2000 yen on the table and a note telling her that she could eat dinner anywhere she wanted. It was an insult, really; it's not like she could take the two bills and call one "Mom" and the other one "Dad".

Hinako apologized – then suddenly turned quiet. Hmm. Now that was a mouthful – and he wasn't talking about the food that Hinako had stuffed herself with. It was that word again, busyness – which, (not so) coincidentally, looked suspiciously similar to the word business. It always seemed to get in the way of anything and everything he wanted to do. And it was the same story for Hinako's parents as well, if he was reading this correctly. And even Hinako, at the age of ten, was not immune. After all, wasn't she already taking advanced classes from his school? And she was probably studying for the junior high school entrance exam already; probably for some prestigious boarding school far away. With goals like that, things like birthday parties and trips and even dinner with family was always going to take a back seat. But was it _really _worth the sacrifice?

Sana and Aoi listened for the most part while Hinako continued her story. And really, it was hard not to be impressed. People would use words like _privileged_ or _gifted_ or _blessed_ to describe Hinako and the life she led. Her parents were highly regarded and owned a large house, probably one of the biggest in Sakuranomori (though not as large as the Wakatsuki mansion). Hinako had already taken part in several math contests for elementary school students and had routinely scored among the top 100 in the country. And Sana's guess had been correct; there was an academic scholarship waiting for Hinako at a well-known junior high school as long as she cleared the entrance exams – and yes, it was a boarding school on another island.

But none of this seemed like bragging, for it was spoken without pride. No, it was closer to the opposite. Her parents always seemed to be complaining about the "glass ceiling", and how they could never quite break into the very elite. And even Hinako's accomplishments were belittled; after all, she hadn't _won_ those math competitions and didn't receive a scholarship offer from the country's #1 junior high school (though acceptance was likely). Oh, and there were other complaints. Like all the hours she wasted in front of the TV, especially the popular kid's show, _Yeti-chan's Wacky Universe_. Or her comparative lack of talent in music; she was better than average at the piano but not good enough to place in competitions. Her athletic abilities were distinctly average. She didn't have a whole lot of friends at school. And there was more – _way_ more.

Were all parents like this?

At least Hinako was lucky enough to have two. After all, Aoi had been raised by a single mother, while Sana's parents were divorced. And neither of them had lives that even remotely compared to hers. A reminder, and a reality check – and Hinako fell silent once more.

"Aoi-neesan," Hinako finally spoke. "Is it asking for too much? All I want is a birthday party. My classmates always talk about them, but I've never been to one. And I've never had my own. I think it would be fun to have cake and presents and play games. What do you think?"

Was that an invitation?

"Do you have any classmates you want to invite?" Aoi asked.

"Well…"

Ah. Aoi realized she had to choose her words more carefully. Hadn't Hinako more or less admitted that she had no friends her age? And when it really came down to it, there were only two people Hinako really wanted there – and they were both away on business.

"When will your parents be back?" Aoi tried again.

"By Saturday night."

"Then – how about Sunday?"

"But – my birthday is on Saturday!"

"So you'll celebrate it a day late. That's what my mom and I did when she was away on my birthday. It'll be all right, Hinako."

Hinako seemed rather unconvinced, but conceded nevertheless.

"So – Sunday afternoon? I'll call my parents and ask them if it's OK to have a party then. And in case it happens – could you two come?"

The response was simultaneous.

"What?"

"Well…"

"I don't think so. We have a lot of work to do," Sana continued. And indeed, that list was kind of like the hydra; whenever one task was done, it seemed like two grew in its place.

"I really wanted to thank you two for helping me…" Ah, those eyes. Aoi was a sucker for them; Sana tried to warn her –

"Then we'll do our best to come," Aoi promised. Dang, he was a little late on that one. "I can't make any promises, but we'll give you a call later in the week."

"And…"

_And?_ Boy, Hinako was really pushing her luck.

"Sana-chan, do you know the person who got my bag back?"

"Ah. Shuusuke. We've been buddies ever since elementary school."

"Really?"

Somehow, Hinako seemed a _bit_ too excited about it.

"Then… could you invite him to the party, too? It would be really cool to have him there."

"Well… if there is a party, and if we can make it, I'll give him a call. And I'll let you know if he can come."

That was a lot of ifs, Sana had to admit. And he knew well enough that if you started multiplying too many ifs together, you almost invariably got a number close to zero. But as long as it made Hinako happy – did it really matter?

* * *

So this was going to be another killer week.

At least Aoi had lifted the ban on caffeine; that was the only humane thing to do. Heck, it was one of those times when even coffee or soda just wouldn't cut it; he needed the hard stuff – like Lipovatin or some other energy drink.

Not to mention that the cooking lessons had started in earnest.

The first lesson promised to be a simple one. His task was to reheat the leftovers and takeout orders from the family restaurant. That had to be the easiest lesson he'd ever had in his life; all he had to do was to pop open the microwave, then –

Oh wait, there was a catch. The use of the microwave was not allowed. Now that made things a _lot_ tougher. Let's see. He could use the oven to heat the fish, but that meant he would have to preheat it first. The noodles could be fried in oil – but NOT in water. The chicken with black bean sauce could also be heated in a pan – but this time, he COULD add water. And how in ($^( was he supposed to heat the white bread buns and rice? (Answer: steaming) In the end, he managed to avoid creating new life forms, introducing new elements to the world, or producing rainbow-colored explosions, but it was a battle all the way through. But at least the results were somewhat edible, although he couldn't quite get all the food ready at the same time (for which he received a mild scolding), and the fish remained cold and uneaten (next time, he would have to turn the oven on sooner and set it to broil).

Lesson two was no easier. Aoi had made some menu plans for later in the week (thank goodness he didn't have to do that on his own), and it was his job to come up with a grocery list, stay under budget, and do the shopping. Oh, and to help with that second part, he was given pages of advertisements, coupons, and a list of web addresses. Making the list was easy enough, though Aoi still saw the need to make a few corrections. But staying under budget was just as difficult as he feared. He could theoretically go to the supermarket and buy everything he needed at full price, but that would send the bills skyrocketing. It was the classic packing problem, trying to figure out how to fit a truckload of groceries fit inside a very small budget. Coupons. Afternoon specials. 2-for-1 deals. Bonus points. Credits. And it wasn't enough just to stay under budget; he also had to figure out how to earn the maximum number of bonus points and credits so he could save more money _next_ time. And the shopping? Now this was another puzzle in itself, as he had to find a way to minimize time and distance, while timing his visits just right so that he wouldn't miss the deadlines for any of the specials. And if that wasn't enough, Aoi kept changing her mind about what she wanted to make, forcing him to make adjustments on the fly.

By this point, Sana _really _didn't want to know what lesson three was going to be. At least Aoi agreed to push it back to next week.

Unfortunately the lessons scored rather low on the brutality meter, compared to some of the other things he had to deal with. And it was true for Aoi as well. No question, it would take some teamwork to get through the week. Tasks and chores had to be completed in complementary fashion. Resources and knowledge would have to be shared. Everything he did had to be negotiated, from when he could play the piano to when he could use the computer. And in the meantime, he had to field phone calls from _both_ Oribes – by this point, he didn't know which one he dreaded more.

Sana felt like one of those balloons that was being filled with more and more air – at some point, it was going to pop. Was this _really _what he had signed up for? He had received advanced warning, yes. He wasn't here to play around. The goal of this stay was _redemption_ – it was that word again – not to spend all of his time reading manga or playing video games or hanging out with friends or breaking the Oribe family rule. But at times like this, it just seemed too difficult. OK, so maybe he would be _redeemed_ – whatever that meant – whatever was left of him, that is. Then what? Were things magically going to turn out great? Was he going to be sent to some paradise, or at least a place where he could get things like rest and sleep? Just what did he have to gain from putting himself through all of this? Sometimes Sana wondered whether it was really worth it.

But even emotions like anger and frustration were starting to die down – they were taking away way too much energy. He was slowly becoming like a zombie, devoid of spirit and purpose. His mind was on autopilot, able to do all the mechanical tasks but unable to do anything that could be considered _thinking_. Forget the autopilot mode; was there an off switch somewhere?

"Otouto-kun?"

Was that a voice from a human being or from some anime show? Oh wait, the TV was off, and had been off pretty much all week (actually weeks), so it had to be the former.

"Otouto-kun. I talked to mom about the party on Sunday."

"Oh."

"She said we could go."

So, what was the catch?

"She said it was OK as long as we kept up with school and promised to work the rest of the time. She told us not to worry too much about finishing the list."

He supposed he ought to be thankful, except that the dictator was also responsible for adding to the list throughout the week.

"And I got a call from Hinako. The party will be at three o'clock, at her house. She said don't bother with presents."

Which actually meant, bring presents but don't fuss over them too much. He wondered what would be right for her.

"And… aren't you forgetting something?"

Oh, right. _That._ Two down, and one to go. It looked like Hinako's luck was holding so far.

"I'll give Shuusuke a call." It was on short notice, and the odds were still against it, but a promise was a promise.

* * *

So it looked like it was going to be just the two of them after all.

Hinako was sure to be disappointed, but there was nothing else they could do. Sana had done his part, appealing to Shuu's guilt and even using his weak spots – and the best Sana could extract from Shuu was a _maybe_. Logic may not have been Sana's strongest area, but he had this one down cold: _Yes_ meant _probably_, _probably_ meant _maybe_, and _maybe_ was a polite way of saying no.

So they introduced themselves to Hinako's parents, and the party started in earnest. They started munching on snacks as Hinako's parents asked (grilled?) them about their meeting at the restaurant. Really, there wasn't much to say – she seemed lonely, so they invited her to eat with them and talk. Which led to the next topic. Ah. Hinako didn't seem to have many friends her own age, as she lived her own world and had different interests. And there were a group of students who were bullying her, making each school day a miserable existence. That was one of the reasons they were thinking of sending her to junior high school next year; she could use a change in atmosphere. And the other reason was that she was a bona-fide genius; she never failed to get top-notch marks in school and had done very well in national math competitions. What was the best way to put it? She was able to – _think _in a way that was very different from most people, and somehow get to the destination faster than anyone else.

As for poor Hinako – being referred in the third person by one's own parents couldn't have been a very pleasant experience. Fortunately her parents caught themselves and started to light the candles; this was going to be a day of fun. They were about to sing Happy Birthday when –

A bell?

Hinako's parents opened the door, and there he was. It looked like Hinako had hit the jackpot after all, for Shuusuke had arrived. So celebrations were put on hold while Shuusuke struggled to extend a story that he could tell in ten seconds – apparently, Hinako's parents weren't satisfied with one-sentence answers.

After a couple of minutes Hinako got impatient and clapped her hands. So everyone took the cue and sang Happy Birthday, and Hinako blew out the candles, which was met by a round of applause. Which was followed by presents. A black hair ribbon from Shuusuke, a brown headband from Sana, and a small stuffed Yeti-chan from Aoi. And from her parents? A book of math puzzles from her mom… and a book titled, "10 secrets to investing in bonds" from her dad. Hmm…

After they had cake, Hinako's parents moved into the background while Aoi, Sana, and Shuusuke were invited to Hinako's room. Indeed, it was somewhat of a shock. In a word – spartan. Bare. Empty. Plain. There seemed to be no color in the room; everything was either black, white or in varying shades of gray. Her bookshelves were filled not with the latest shoujo manga or light novels, but with textbooks, test preparation books, and reference books. The closest thing to what one could call "leisurely reading" was a collection of classic Japanese literature. Her desk itself was practically empty, save for a computer – which she promptly turned on as soon as she entered the room. What kind of a life did she have, anyway?

Some of those questions were answered once the computer started up. Web pages of math competition winners – and sure enough, her name appeared on several lists. Descriptions of the junior high school she was planning on entering, and mock exams – and according to the results, Hinako was all but guaranteed to pass; it was only a matter of how high she would place on the list. Oh, finally. She wanted them to check out her web album. But it wasn't filled with pictures… in their place were pie charts. Graphs. Tables. Descriptions. Apparently, Hinako had quite a collection of stocks. Although, Hinako explained as she pointed to one of the pie charts, she was keeping a large cash reserve – there were rumors of a large bond offering in Sakuranomori, and she wanted to have cash around just in case.

Afterwards, Hinako asked everyone if they wanted to play any games. So she opened up her closet and revealed… Shogi. Go. A deck of Hanafuda cards. Mahjong tiles…

Was this really her room, or was someone pulling a cruel joke?

It must have been real, since she was pulling out the box of Mahjong tiles, after putting her gifts away. She set up the tiles on top of a small foldable table, and they started to play. Or rather, attempted to; Shuusuke was the only one of the three that knew how to play. So it was up to Hinako to explain all the rules, while Aoi and Sana struggled to even grab the tiles without revealing them to everyone else.

After a crash course, the game started – and the results were predictable. It was a mismatch from the start as Hinako took advantage of each and every one of their mistakes. It was a very good thing they weren't playing for money, because they surely would've gone broke. It got so bad that Hinako decided to place a huge handicap on herself before the last round – and still won going away, as she called just about every one of Sana's and Aoi's moves and successfully bluffed Shuusuke on her way to a spectacular hand.

Next, a trip to the music room. Hinako turned out to be a pretty decent player; she could play simple pieces without too many problems and gave a creditable performance of Mozart's Turkish March. Probably not as good as Sana (or Aoi, for that matter) was at her age, but by no means could she be considered bad. Of course, she was no match for the current Sana, who ploughed through Mozart's 12 variations of Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star, much to her delight – and finished things off by playing the opening theme song of _Yeti-chan's Wacky Universe_, which was met with eager applause by all. (Sana had spent all week working on that one.)

They returned to the living room, where Hinako's parents had prepared tea and light snacks. The party was starting to wind down now. Or wind up, in Shuusuke's case – he was glancing at his watch for some reason –

"Shuu, do you need to go?" Sana asked.

"Well, Shuri's working at the retirement home – "

"On a Sunday?"

"They had a special event there, so they asked her to come. I was supposed to pick her up – "

A couple of problems with that. Shuusuke didn't have a car and there was this thing called a bus. But Sana figured that was none of his business.

"All right, go," Sana told him. After all, Shuri was one of those people you simply did not want to cross.

"Wait!"

Everyone's heads turned toward Hinako.

"Um, Wakatsuki-san, could I talk to you alone for a minute?"

Shuusuke agreed, and they disappeared for a minute – before Shuusuke emerged and ran off, with a hurried wave his only farewell. Hinako followed slowly, her head down – ah. It must not have been the result she wanted.

Hinako waited until her parents were out of earshot before she started to explain. "I couldn't tell him. I just couldn't do it!"

"Tell him what?" was Sana's instinctive response.

"After all this. All of this trouble… All I could say was 'Thank you.' Why couldn't I say it? How I really felt?"

"Maybe you did," Aoi offered gently. "Maybe it's how you really felt about him, deep down inside. Didn't you want to do something for him, because he was kind to you? And you _did_. And for us, too. It was a wonderful birthday party. Didn't you have a lot of fun, too, Sana?"

"Of course."

"But – but – that's different! That's not what I meant! Why does it have to be so difficult, Aoi-neesan? Why couldn't I do it? Is it the age gap? Did I make a bad impression? Was it something I did? Or was it something that was hopeless from the start? Impossible?"

Aoi thought for a moment before answering. "There are a couple ways to look at this. One way is to believe that true love has no bounds. Whether it's age or gender or species. And – "

"Yes?"

"The other way is that true love _has _bounds – and for that, you should be very glad. You'll have to believe in one or the other, Hinako-chan."

"But which one?"

"I'd like you to ask your parents that question. But let me ask you. Do your parents love each other?"

"Of course."

"Do they have certain rules that they follow?"

"Yes, but – "

"Just think about that for a moment. And talk to them. I'm sure the answer will come to you. Good luck, Hinako-chan."

And with those words, the party was over. Sana gave a bright wave while Aoi offered a consoling hug – before they left.

* * *

Maybe his luck was turning around after all.

It was somewhat ironic, because Shuu had always been the lucky one in the past. Born into a rich family. Good looking, popular at school, and athletic. His grades were fairly good as well. And of course, his twin sister Shuri would always be by his side, though Sana couldn't tell whether this was a blessing or a curse.

But somewhere, there seemed to be a reversal of fortune. While Sana had a hard life, there were always moments like today. A sense of relief. Satisfaction. Joy. Indeed, something close to exhilaration, which was only fueled by Aoi's own. When his aunt's gentle voice and optimistic words were taken at face value. When even his own mother would let him off the hook, and merely told him to "keep going". And while moments like these were rare, he always had the feeling that they wouldn't be gone for long – the time would arrive once more, and fill him with enough energy to keep going. Was this what people called _hope_? If it was, then fulfillment couldn't be too far away. And surely, redemption would be a major part of this; a future he could look forward to…

Ah, how different it must be for Shuu.

Something was "off" about him at the party. What was it? Shuu had always lamented that they never had enough time to hang out. And Sana had reminded Shuu of this over the phone, while inviting him to the party. A chance to share stories. To make new plans. And to prove their "male superiority" to the girls (OK, so this one had backfired big-time).

But Shuu's mind seemed to be in another place all afternoon. Could it be – issues with family? Aoi had hinted at this several times, although she didn't know for certain, either. But it seemed to be the most likely culprit. Shuu and Shuri's birth mother had died more than ten years ago, and their father had remarried not long thereafter. And from their occasional snide comments, they didn't seem to be too fond of their stepmother. That was on top of their regular disputes with their father – and with each other.

Still, all those things were just typical family problems and most people managed to live through them. But Shuu – he literally looked sick at times, and especially today. He was far from the creative and energetic friend Sana had once known, the one who came up with all sorts of ideas and things to do. It was almost as if life was literally being sucked out of him. Stagnant. At a standstill. And in the end, the water would turn foul and most living creatures would die off, save for the mosquitoes that used it for breeding grounds.

But there was always hope. Nanaka had overcome steeper odds and was on the road to recovery. And Sana himself was starting to move forward. But that had been made possible only with full support from those closest to them – when would they come through for Shuu?


	6. V: Duet

**V**** - Duet**

A time to rejoice. A time to give thanks. And for the less fortunate, a time to forget.

Yes, the town festival was soon at hand.

And Sana couldn't wait. No, not for the food and games or the various activities, though those things certainly didn't hurt. Nor the time off from his schoolwork or duties at the apartment, though that was nothing short of an act of mercy. No, this was going to be… his first public performance!

Actually his second, counting the duet he performed with Nanaka at the honors recital. But it had certainly been a while. And it was unexpected, how it all came about.

It all started when Nanaka was asked to perform the dance of the mystical maiden at the end of the festival. The dance was to be accompanied by background music; a piano-violin duet (although the piano part was played with a keyboard). In years past, the organizers had asked a couple of local professionals to play the parts. But the piano teacher happened to be out of town, so instead of scrambling for another pianist – Nanaka had gotten the idea of having Sana and Asami play in their place.

After a brief demonstration, they were unanimously approved. Finally! A chance to put their practice to good use; and to learn a new piece. And Sana could only hope that there would be more opportunities for them to play in the future.

Of course, reality always had a way of sneaking in through the back door.

Response #1: (Aoi)

"Guess what! Asami and I will be playing a duet at the festival!"

"That's wonderful! Could you make the bentos tomorrow?"

Response #2: (His aunt)

"That's great, Sana. And don't worry too much about work; I know you need the extra practice time. Aoi and I will do the best we can for the next couple of weeks to make up for it."

"But…"

"I'm sure you'll do the right thing after the festival is over. I'm counting on you, Sana."

Response #3: (His mother)

"So, who will you be playing with?"

"Asami. Just someone from school."

"Oh, so it's a different girl this time?"

So maybe it wasn't _perfect_, especially the part where he had to get up extra early in the morning so he could work on lesson number three. But at least he had gotten the hang of this one pretty quick; he turned out to be a natural in the kitchen and the results were more than edible. Maybe he had some of the Oribe blood in him after all.

And the results were confirmed during lunch. Sana's bento was a colorful assortment of side dishes, neatly compartmentalized – next to the block of rice. Shuu's bento was colorful as well – but for very different reasons. Sana wasn't sure what it was supposed to be, but he _was_ sure that it wasn't supposed to contain anything living – was Sana mistaken, or did he just see something move?

Sana turned his face away in self-preservation and Shuu did the same. "You know, Sana, you're lucky that you have Aoi-san to make lunch for you," Shuu started.

"Actually – "

"Yeah, it sucks to be stuck with this. But what can I do? I have to eat this and pretend I like it."

"Why not ask your stepmother?"

"I wish. She can at least make something that will go out the other end. But – " Shuu cast a glance – "she _insisted_. You know how it is."

Shuu had his full condolences.

"So – she still hasn't improved?"

The proof was presented right under his nose, and Sana's instincts took over, as he lurched backwards and nearly fell.

"I can't stand this anymore. I can't eat this. I'll be back in a bit."

So Shuu emptied the contents of his bento in the nearest wastebasket and hurried over to the cafeteria to buy himself some bread. Alas, his return was greeted by a certain person with similar-colored hair, who was standing with her arms crossed –

_Ouch._ That _had _to hurt – she didn't have to hit him _there_. She got a few more kicks in before she was held back by Asami and Nanaka – and it was a good thing they did, or Shuu might have had to make his own visit to the hospital.

The incident at lunch thankfully went unmentioned during rehearsal. Indeed, there were enough things to worry about, without having to add one more to the list. First of all, they needed to borrow a keyboard. The school was willing to lend them one, given the importance of the occasion – but actually playing it provided a whole new set of challenges. The keys simply weren't as responsive and the pedals didn't have quite the same effect; it required a different touch altogether to play it properly. But the plus side was that he could change the sound with a touch of a button; the keyboard even had settings for various Japanese traditional instruments.

And Asami seemed to be – a touch on the picky side. To be truthful, both of them were. Asami first approached this like a concert piece, complete with the soloist's pose and bright, clear tone – before she had to be reminded that they were supplying the background music, and the dance was supposed to be the main attraction. Next, the coordination. It was a true duet, with each instrument weaving in and out as they took turns taking the lead. There wasn't anything particularly difficult or tricky about the piece, but it was still quite a challenge to get the timing down. Third, the settings. Both of them quickly agreed that the standard piano sound wasn't the best fit for the piece. They came up with some possibilities – but ultimately, they would have to run them by Nanaka. Asami fiddled around with the mute, as well, before deciding against it. And finally, the schedule. They had three scheduled rehearsals with the full crew; in between, they would have to practice as often as possible. Saturday would have to be cut short because of Asami's volunteer work and Sunday was near impossible, but they could meet during school days.

So it was going to be another busy couple of weeks.

Come to think of it, he'd had nothing but busy weeks since he came to Sakuranomori. But at least this one was for a good cause. Thankfully he was 2 for 2 when it came to good causes; the trip had worked out well and so had the birthday party, which gave him reason to hope. And this time around, he'd get to spend the extra time doing something he actually enjoyed, instead of having to bury himself in hard work.

Yes, he actually enjoyed playing the piano.

It sounded funny to him at first. It wasn't always that way; at first, it just another one of those things he was burdened with, so that he wouldn't have as much time to do something _fun_. He absolutely dreaded those hours he had to spend at the piano, and the lessons were about as pleasant as a trip to the dentist. And he was constantly reminded just how hard Aoi was working on the piano, and how fast she was improving.

But the turning point came when he flew through Bach's Chromatic Fantasia & Fugue and won the competition going away. Finally, vindication. Affirmation. A reward for his efforts. And it wouldn't end there. First, the honors recital – where every contestant who placed was asked to play (including Aoi, whose bright rendition of Mozart's Rondo in A major brought smiles to everyone's faces). And at the same time, a special request. The organizers of the competition asked him to play a duet with the winner of the violin competition in his age group. It was on short notice, but a couple of judges had wanted to see them on stage together, and the piece was a simple one – a duet arrangement of Pachelbel's Kanon in D.

And that was the first time he had met Nanaka.

They had hit it off right away. Perhaps a little on the shy side, but she was so gentle and pleasing – not to mention, quite easy on the eyes. As for their practices – they were in sync almost from the start, and she seemed to have an impeccable knack for timing. A piece that became easier and easier to play with each subsequent practice, to the point it became almost instinctive… even now, whenever he played this piece, he could still hear the violin in the background…

The duet was a huge hit at the recital. And Sana had taken the time to introduce her to his cousin and the twins – and soon, all of them were fast friends. It seemed as if she had been part of the group all along; Sana could still remember the time they spent at the hills and exploring the caves; their first and only spring festival…

And it all came to an end. A few short months is all it was; a seed that sprouted quickly and withered just as fast. And according to his mother, something best left in the past. Everything had changed – heck, she didn't even play the violin anymore, which probably had been the strongest link between them. Now, the violinist was another gentle and pleasing girl whose expressions were strangely familiar, as if he had seen them years ago…

Sana blinked. Was he just imagining things? He resisted the temptation to dig up the score for Pachelbel's Kanon – he was a little freaked by the thought. No, he had to focus. Work. That had been a constant theme ever since he had arrived at Sakuranomori, and he wasn't about to stop now. For there was a time when he had let his mind wander just a little – and that was what had earned him a one-way ticket to Sakuranomori.

* * *

Saturday.

Normally, the day that combined the worst of two worlds. A half-day of school, followed by a full day of work. Well, except for that day before he went on that trip – but even the dictator knew well enough to not repeat that stunt.

But everything was different this week. So he would be able to make a rare visit to the retirement home, along with Asami and the twins. There was a keyboard there, so Sana and Asami would be able play a few duets for the residents – including a sneak preview of the piece they would be playing at the festival. Nanaka then decided that this would be a good chance to demonstrate _her_ part, so that meant that the full gang would be there. Aoi had long since been relegated to "special guest star" status.

It was good to be back.

There were several familiar faces among the bunch. The video game expert, who was now playing a racing game with a couple of his friends, with Shuu making up the fourth. And fourth was where Shuu would routinely finish, as the other three took turns ganging up on him. There was a particularly cruel moment when the three let Shuu take the lead, only to rear-end him during a crucial turn and send him careening off the cliff – and Shuu could barely refrain himself from throwing his controller. There were new faces as well; Shuri was talking to a couple of them and was describing her tennis exploits. Apparently, she had won a couple of local tournaments, and was expected to be a contender in the upcoming national tournament. And of course, the most memorable face of them all – Grandma Kaji, who was resting on a rocking chair, her eyes closed.

The conversation inevitably turned to the upcoming festival, and Nanaka was soon thrust into the spotlight, as the star attraction. People were clamoring for her to show them her dance – and that brought Sana and Asami into the mix as well, as they would be supplying the background music. Shuu volunteered to play the role of the narrator, a keyboard was brought in, and a little room was cleared for the performers. The stage was set.

The performance? Somewhat on the awkward side. After all, they had only one full practice together, and Shuu was a bit off with his narration. But they managed to get through without any major mishaps, and none of the residents seemed to care about the minor mistakes. A loud applause, words of praise, and wishes of good luck were given; even to a sheepish Shuu (who had to remind them that he would not be the narrator at the festival). Even Grandma Kaji managed to wake up from her slumber and manage a few claps, before sinking back in her chair.

Still, Grandma Kaji refused assistance as she got up from her seat and walked back to her room. Ah. So she was simply tired, after all, which a hot cup of tea quickly cured. But she still seemed a bit down, so Asami and Sana offered to play her a song – this time, a more up-beat one.

Kaji held out her hand. "No, that's all right. I was just thinking about the story of the mystical maiden. Do you know it?"

Only in broad outlines. There were cues like, "hope", "lonely moments", "memories", "betrayal", and "death". Obviously, this story did not have a happy ending.

"It starts with three people who knew each other ever since they were young. A boy and two girls. They were best friends for so many years. And as they grew older, they would only grow closer. Only, they started to notice that the boy was growing particularly close to one of the girls…"

Aye, the classic love triangle.

"But the girl – who had now become a young woman – had to move away. No one knew when she would be back; she said it could be many years. So, she gave a tearful farewell to both her friends. She told them to remember her, but to move on with their lives. Finally, she told them that she would treasure the moments they shared – but she, too, would find the strength to continue, apart from them…"

"And that night, she found herself underneath a large sakura tree. As the petals fell around her, she made a wish. That somehow, from this moment of sadness, a great joy would arise…"

"Then, from the shadows, the young man emerged. He had been looking for her all night. He begged her not to go, in vain. Then, he went down on one knee and told her something he had been meaning to say for some time…"

"The two pledged themselves to each other that night. She would do everything in her power to come back as soon as possible. And he would wait for her in the meantime. And they made a wish under the sakura tree; that nothing would prevent them from keeping the promise, that any obstacles to their love would be eliminated..."

"But the passage of time proved cruel. Try as she might, she could not return as soon as she hoped. And once she returned, she found her two friends smiling at her return, glad to see her back; and smiling at each other, for they were now engaged to be married."

This was going to get ugly.

"She tried to win him back. She appealed to the promise, the wish, they had made; the love they once had. She pleaded with the woman who had once been her best friend. But it was to no avail. And as the wedding day grew closer, she found that her former friend was with child – and she finally gave up. There was no going back; she would do her best to cheer them on and support them as a friend, even as she was being torn in two…"

"But even that would be denied. Just as the friendship was restored, and she found the strength to move on, her best friend grew sick and died. There would be no wedding, no child. The young man was inconsolable. And the young woman realized, with horror, that their wish had been granted..."

"Ever since then, every year, she would scatter sakura petals across her friend's grave. And pray that her friend's sacrifice would not be in vain, and that the evil spirits responsible for her death would be forever destroyed."

End.

"I'll come and see you all at the festival. Especially, you, Nanaka – "

Wait, since when was she here?

"I know you'll do a great job with the dance. I'm counting on you. You really remind me of my granddaughter – she was the type to never quit, no matter how hard things got. I see that in you, Nanaka. Go. Be grateful that you're still young and alive. And become that person that I know that you can be."

"Thank you. Is there anything I can do?"

Sana had to hand it to her; Nanaka had really improved since the last visit to Grandma Kaji – even if she was a bit robotic.

"Just one. Please, could you try playing the violin?

"I'm sorry, but I haven't played for a long time – could you ask Asami to play?"

"Please?"

Nanaka gave in, and Asami somewhat reluctantly lent her the violin. The pose was still good, and so was her form, but the sound – well, she really hadn't played for a long time. But Sana could give Nanaka credit for one thing: she was no quitter.

* * *

Darkness. The shimmering effects from the keyboard. A subtle, gentle sound from the violin. And then, a single light – preceding the mystical maiden, returning to this world to tell her story. One could almost sense her sadness through her motions – the tragedy that had befallen her life. Yet not without hope, for if she could prevent just one person from repeating her mistakes, or console just one person who was living in sadness, her purpose would have been served…

Everything was running smoothly so far. Nanaka was clearly in her element, while Sana and Asami were on cue. The narrator was holding his own. Now all they needed – was an audience.

Ah, the dress rehearsal. Or rehearsals, to be fair. They had already gone through the entire program three times, probably closer to five if they included all the bits and pieces they worked on. After a brief food break – considering it consisted of convenience store rice balls, "dinner" was much too kind a word to describe their meal – they were at it again. And there were several changes in the meantime. The timing. Keyboard settings. Tone from the violin. Nanaka also ad-libbed a few times in between; some of the changes were rejected while others were kept. This went on until sundown – and it quickly grew dark afterwards, for it was a cloudy day.

This was the moment everyone had been waiting for; the chance to make a full run. The campfire had been lit within the concrete circle. The torches were also lit, one by one, as the dance continued. And at a climactic moment, Nanaka would approach the campfire, and the torches would surround her, filling her with visions of fire –

Nanaka stopped. She stood still for just an instant – then toppled to the ground.

"Nanaka!"

"Yatsushiro-san!"

"Are you all right?"

"Help!"

"Everyone, get back. Give her some room."

That last voice was from her uncle, who shooed everyone back. Meanwhile, her aunt came to her side, and attempted to wake her up – and Nanaka soon came to. But she was in no condition to continue, so the rehearsal ended early. They would have to take their chances at the festival itself – if Nanaka recovered by then.

And that was the topic of discussion between Nanaka's uncle and aunt.

"What do you think we should do?

"We might have to cancel. It was my mistake. I should've known something like this might happen. But after all she's overcome, and all the work she put in… I thought she could do this."

"Dear. There's no way you could've known."

"But I should've guessed. Losing her parents in the fire. Seeing her house burn down. The fire must've really scared her. It must have brought back all those painful memories…"

A knowing nod. Nanaka's days at the mental hospital; the nightmares that plagued her for some time afterwards – even now, she was hanging on by a thread.

"Should we tell her what happened that night?"

"No, we shouldn't. And even if we do – what do we _really_ know? Nanaka was the only one to see it first hand. Isn't that why we asked the police to close the case? The circus wasn't doing anyone any good; look what it did to her."

"I understand, but…"

"What is it?"

"I don't think we can hide it, even if we wanted to. She knows. She knows everything. You haven't heard some of the things she says in her sleep. At some point, she's going to figure it out. Then – "

"Then we're going to have a lot of problems. I guess that leaves us with no choice. We'll have to cancel. We just can't take any more chances – "

A knock at the door – and the couple froze. Just how much had she heard? This could turn out badly, if they weren't careful…

"Were you talking about me?"

The door was opened, and Nanaka came inside.

"I'm fine now. Please let me perform at the festival."

"But, Nanaka – "

"Look. I can do this. Weren't _you_ the one to tell me to keep looking forward? To not let anything hold me back? I'm sick and tired of letting everyone down. And I'm sorry for being such a _disappointment_, Uncle. So can't you give me this chance? Please?"

"Nanaka, it's not about that – "

"If it's not, then let me do it. This doesn't bother _me_. If anything goes wrong, it's on _me_. I won't blame _you_ for it."

"Still – " A pleading look, but Nanaka refused to back down.

"All right, you can go ahead. But we'll have to make some changes. And we'll try to arrange a brief run-through tomorrow afternoon. It that's OK with you, then you can perform at the festival."

Nanaka bowed silently before leaving the room – and the couple sighed. It looked like they had dodged this bullet – but how much longer would their luck hold?

* * *

So this is what a festival looked like from the other side.

It's funny, how he never realized that when he was a kid. Back then, he would dress up in traditional clothing and play all sorts of games all night long. Like the goldfish game, which he could swear was rigged, as the fish would tear through the paper every single time. Or the pin game, which would almost invariably end with a single upright pin mocking him – and unlike real bowling, he would not be given the chance to make the spare. Or the basketball game, in which the rim seemed to repel every shot he took – was the ball filled with magnets or something?

The rifle game was one of the few games he had "won". Although, calling it "winning" was a bit of a stretch. He was given five shots to hit five targets, each one in increasing difficulty. The prize for hitting all five was a giant stuffed Yeti-chan – which Nanaka had been eyeing ever since the beginning of the festival. So he had decided to play the role of the shoujo hero and go for it – after all, the hero never missed, right?

Alas, he ended up playing the role of the comic relief, instead. But he did manage to hit one target, so he was left with the cheapest of prizes: the flower bracelet, which he embarrassedly put on Nanaka's wrist. Not his brightest moment – but at least Nanaka didn't mind _too_ much, though she just _had_ to tease him about that throughout the night.

So yeah, he never had much luck with the games back then – nor with the food, which tasted good at the start but eventually ended up on his clothing and made his stomach go sour – nor with the souvenirs, most of which lost its luster by the next day and all of which mysteriously disappeared once he moved away from Sakuranomori. But at least he had been lucky enough to be on the other side of the counter in those days.

But this year, he had been railroaded into helping out at one of the stands. Asami's church had decided to put up a booth this year, and someone had the bright idea of having music going in the background. And between Asami's sweet smile and gentle voice, and the chance to play the keyboard – he hadn't been able to say no. So instead of having fun with the rest of his friends, he was stuck in a suit, playing songs like "Amazing Grace", "Great is Thy Faithfulness", and "A Mighty Fortress is our God".

The only bright side to all this was that Asami hadn't skipped out on him; she was handing out flyers and talking to a number of people. And once in a while, she even forwarded a hymn request (probably from one of the members of the church), which at least shook him out of the monotony. But it was long and tedious work for the most part – it almost reminded him of home.

Speaking of home, there was another reminder. Aoi and the often-mentioned but never-seen friends of hers; they seemed to be in good spirits. Then, his aunt and her unofficial troupe of single moms; they were all carrying bags and were on the lookout for bargains. And other familiar faces. There was a more extended visit from Hinako and her parents; it seemed that they were members of this church. And of course, the twins, who were still under the watchful eye of their father and stepmother – and they seemed to be having a miserable go of it.

Nanaka was one of the few faces he hadn't seen; the others had been kind enough to stop by. But that was no surprise; she had been in really bad shape the night before, and was probably resting up for her dance (which, miraculously, had not been canceled). Speaking of which – there was an hour left before the program, which meant that his shift was up.

An hour seemed to be plenty of time to walk around for a bit, but not according to Asami; she wanted to eat first and use the rest of the time to warm up (food had been brought to them just as their shift was ending). So he was obliged to follow her lead – not that he minded. Asami was a pleasant person to be around, really. And it had always been that way. Ever since their first meeting during lunch – the case of mistaken identity, which was soon smoothed over – then learning about their shared love for music – and later that week, their first practice – it had seemed so easy. Natural. Effortless. Just like the dry run that they were now going through. And even though Asami had her practice mute on and the keyboard volume was set to low, he knew – _they _knew – that they had this one down. They were responding to each other's cues and motions, and could almost visualize Nanaka's form, as she glided through the night air; the underlying story, and the tears that were shed in the face of tragedy…

The actual performance seemed almost anticlimactic. A few moments of intense concentration. Observing Nanaka's motions and listening for cues from Asami and the narrator, and responding accordingly. And at the end, placing the finishing touches with a few soft, almost imperceptible taps, as the violin faded away and Nanaka disappeared from view – and it was over. And judging from the applause, they had been a success. Nanaka naturally got the loudest applauses, and even received a couple of bouquets of flowers. Sana and Asami were brought forth from the shadows and they, too, received an applause.

The festival started to disband afterwards. Booths were now being taken down, while most of the people were starting to head home. And he, too, was considering going home; he was searching for Aoi and his aunt, when he felt a tap on his shoulder –

"Nanaka?"

Needless to say, this was not the face that he was expecting.

"So, Sana, what did you think of the dance?"

Well, what could he say? He was paying so much attention to his own music that he hadn't seen a lot. He didn't _think_ she had been out of rhythm, but he was mostly concerned about synching with Asami, and hoping that Nanaka would go with the flow.

"I was wondering what you thought about the last-minute changes. Uncle decided to bring in lanterns instead of torches in that scene, and the steps were a little different – I wasn't sure, and I was wondering what you thought about it."

Again, he was the wrong person to ask. He hadn't really been paying attention to the scene – and even if he had, he would have been viewing it from the wrong angle. But he couldn't say these things, of course; this little word called _politeness_ demanded that he should answer something like this:

"I'd like to see it again. Could you show me?"

Nanaka was practically beaming upon hearing those words – and Sana couldn't help but feeling a little scared. The feeling only grew as Nanaka acted out the climactic scene, while humming the music; somehow, she starting to take on a certain ethereal quality, until –

– _**SQUEE!**_ –

A sudden sound, and Nanaka rushed into his arms, holding him tight. Sana quickly steadied her and pushed her to the side – he had almost dropped the keyboard from sheer surprise.

"It's all right, I think it was just a squirrel – "

Somehow, the words just weren't registering.

"Nanaka, I thought your dance was really neat. Hey, let me know the next time you're performing!"

Judging from her reaction, it looked like he was 0 for 2. Was there some kind of magic words that he was supposed to say? He decided against "Open, sesame!" and opted for the more conventional, "See you around!". If something had gone wrong, he would just have to figure it out next time.

Sana looked for Aoi and his aunt, but they were long gone – they must have left during his little detour. There was only one familiar face left, and that was Asami; she was helping with the cleanup at her church's booth. She was quick to ask him for help, and he was quick to accept. And in a few minutes, everything was taken down and put away.

Satisfaction. Contentment. Joy? Feelings that lingered, though it had been a busy night for them, and they never got the chance to enjoy the festival. A sense of accomplishment? No, it was more than that. Calm. Peace. A radiance that engulfed them, and filled their hearts with hope…

And those feelings were only intensified as Asami pulled Sana into a hug. And ever so briefly, it was returned. Was this how it was supposed to be? Was it meant to be? A moment, a realization. A vision that became clearer and clearer, and finally took shape as Asami spoke –

"Thank you, Hidaka-san."

A simple nod.

"It was fun, wasn't it? We'll have to do this again. I'll see you on Monday. And…"

And?

"I'll tell you later. See you at school!"

Boy, that was a cruel tease, and he should have told her so. But a smile and a little wave was all he could manage, as they parted ways. The end of an eventful day – and hopefully, there would be many more. After all, it was a promise.


	7. VI: Choice

**VI**** - Choice**

Ah, the aftermath.

This was going to be a fun week, no doubt. Especially since he was going to do the "right thing" – Aoi and his aunt had pulled double shifts while he was off practicing for the festival. The schedule for the next couple of days had already been set: besides extra hours, he was stuck making dinner for one of those days. It looked like lesson number four had arrived, and in style.

But he wouldn't have it any other way.

Opportunities. New doors were being opened to them, according to Asami; the performance at the town festival had paid off. People were already asking whether they would be performing at the school festival in the fall. There was an invitation to play at Asami's church (declined, for now – due to his work commitments). And an offer to play, both a solo and a duet with Asami, at this year's honors recital (there was no competition this year, due to lack of participants).

Unfortunately, this was where Newton's third law kicked in.

What was wrong with Nanaka, anyway? She had been the biggest hit at the festival, by far. If anything, she should have been basking in her glory – she had been congratulated from all fronts, and some were begging for an encore performance at the school festival. She'd been testy from the start, but practically snapped when someone suggested that Sana and Asami should accompany her once again.

An equal and opposite reaction, indeed.

And things only went downhill afterwards. Nanaka seemed to have substituted "Hmph" in place of "Ohayo". She had mastered the art of looking away. And at lunch, Shuri was the only one who could get any kind of response out of her – and they were one-word answers, at that.

So Nanaka was in one of her "moods" again, according to Aoi – just one of those things that could come and go at any time. Sometimes there was a good reason for them, and sometimes there wasn't. The only common denominator was that talking to her about them invariably made things worse, and they always went away on their own. The best remedy was to treat her normally and follow the usual routines – and to let her make the first move. That was the way she worked; she wanted to be the one in control, and to be the one to solve her own problems. And eventually, she would find a way.

Of course, this was easier said than done.

The mid-week student representatives meeting, for example. She did not say a word to any of the other representatives, and looked off to the side or into her mirror during the meeting. Any words directed to her were promptly ignored. And after the meeting, Sana tried to get Nanaka to say something – anything – but when Asami came in the room to fetch him, Nanaka had marched off in the other direction.

"Any idea what's wrong with Nanaka?" Sana finally asked, during a break in their rehearsal.

Asami lowered her head. "No, nothing's wrong. She's always been like that."

Ah, there had been similar words from Aoi. Maybe there was more to this.

"Is there a way to make things better?"

"That's what we've _been_ doing, Hidaka-san. Ever since the time she came with us to the retirement home. She's one of us now, and we've done everything together. And that was _after _she sent you to the hospital."

Now this was a side of Asami that he had never seen before – and it made him shiver.

"So, does that mean we should stop?"

One look from Asami, and Sana realized that had been the wrong thing to say – and he looked down. Failing to find a hole in the ground to crawl into, Sana did the next best thing, and moved onto the next piece. The rest of the rehearsal was completed in uneasy silence.

"Um, Hoshino-san – "

"Yes?"

From the tone of her voice, it looked like he was safe.

"Would it be OK if we invited Nanaka to visit the retirement home?"

"It would be nice," Asami answered, though Sana couldn't tell how truthful her response was. "But I think Shuri-san should be the one to ask. At least we know that Yatsushiro-san will listen to her."

Sana hated to think this way, but just for a moment – that really sounded like something his mother would say.

* * *

As it turned out, Nanaka was busy with work on Saturday, but she would be available on the following Saturday. And perhaps that was for the better, since Sana couldn't make it until then, thanks to the dictator's revised schedule. So the invitation would be postponed until the entire gang could make it. There were even talks about going out to dinner and/or to the karaoke center afterwards, though that idea was eventually shot down.

In the meantime, time had indeed proven to be the best remedy. Nanaka had relearned the word "Ohayo", although that didn't stop her from walking right past him. She was now able to speak in complete sentences, although she was still limited to one-sentence answers for the most part. And at the very least, she was on good terms with Shuri again – and they were now chatting it up as if nothing had happened.

And so, it was her cool, confident self that arrived at the bus stop on that fateful Saturday, and was greeted in earnest – at least by the twins. The remaining two were still a little behind the curve.

But from the start, this was going to be different from their first trip to the retirement home. The bus ride, for example. Nanaka plopped down on the seat next to him and started talking about all kinds of things. Her favorite manga and TV shows. Latest celebrity gossip. School. Work at the shrine. And when she finally ran out of topics to talk about, she asked him whether he had a couple of hours to hang out – just like old times.

Of course, the offer was declined.

Things got no better once they arrived at the retirement home. Nanaka's presence was like a shadow that he just couldn't shake off. And Asami wasn't having much luck, either – as she had trouble getting anything done, with Nanaka jumping into the fray at every opportunity. Asami was clearly straining to maintain her composure – her mask came close to breaking on at least a couple of occasions.

It all culminated with the visit to Grandma Kaji. She wanted to hear another duet from Sana and Asami, and they complied by playing Beethoven's Spring Sonata – the piece Asami was working on for her competition – but that, also, would be thwarted as Nanaka stomped into the room and immediately struck up a conversation with Grandma Kaji. Sana and Asami held on for a few more bars before giving up.

So it looked like this trip hadn't worked out, either. At least the twins didn't blame him for the mess this time around – and Shuri seemed rather sad for her best friend. Asami was a steadying force, consoling him with gentle words: a reminder to hang in there, and continue to do his best – and wait for the situation to turn around. Alas, that was about when Nanaka broke into sobs, and Shuri left her brother's side to be with Nanaka.

Soon, the trip came to a merciful end.

And thank goodness. He had enough to worry about; there was a pile of schoolwork waiting for him at home, and the dictator's orders were to finish them tonight. And that could only mean one thing: Sunday promised to be a real adventure.

* * *

Hmm, that was early.

As far as he could tell, his mother had never jumped the gun. Every one of her phone calls had arrived between 9:00 and 9:05, without fail.

Then again, there was a first time for everything. So Sana picked up the phone, even if it was 15 minutes early.

"Sana-chan?"

That didn't sound like his mother. And he couldn't believe he was thinking this way, but he would rather be talking to her right about now.

"Shuri-chan?"

"Sorry for calling so late. But this is an emergency. Do you remember what happened to Nanaka today?"

Or what she _did_, Sana corrected Shuri in his mind.

"She's at my house right now. She's really upset. And I think she wants to talk to you."

"Are you sure?" Let's just say – his track record with Nanaka wasn't too great.

"Please, Sana-chan. Anything would help."

A sigh, and the phone was soon transferred to the intended target.

"Sana."

"Yatsushiro-san."

"I need to talk to you about something."

"Could you tell me tomorrow? It's getting late – "

"I'll make this quick."

She better, because the clock was inching closer to 9:00PM. He hadn't missed a phone call from his mother yet, and he had no intention of starting a new trend.

"Sana, I need to talk to you. Tomorrow. Meet me at the grass hills, by the old mailbox. It'll take less than an hour."

Now that was just impossible. Did she have _any_ idea what his life was like? This Sunday was going to be one of the busiest days on record: he was going to be put to work from early morning to late evening, non-stop. And in preparation for this wonderful day, he was going to be spending half the night finishing up his schoolwork. He'd be lucky if he was given time to eat, let alone go off somewhere for an hour.

"Then I'll talk to your aunt. I can't put this off until later, Sana. Please make the time. If you can't, I'll try to make the time for you."

She was being rather insistent.

"You can be honest with me. You're not coming because you don't want to. So let's make a deal: if you come tomorrow, I promise I won't bother you again. And if you want me to, I'll try to stay out of your life. Just this once, Sana."

Now this presented a real dilemma. On one hand, maybe he owed her at least that much – if this was to be the end of their friendship, then she deserved some closure. On the other hand – well, he really had a bad feeling about this. This was Nanaka, after all, and one trip to the hospital was bad enough, thank you.

In the end, Sana couldn't give her a firm answer, and Nanaka hung up abruptly. And about time; it was just before 9:00.

* * *

_Use your best judgment, Sana._

That had been his mother's surprising advice during their phone conversation. It may have given him more freedom, but that only made things more difficult. A part of him was hoping that his mother would exercise her veto power, as he had little desire to override it.

_You have enough information to make the right decision. At some point, you will have to make important decisions on your own. And the only way to learn is to keep trying._

And keep messing up. Wasn't that the reason he was stuck in Sakuranomori in the first place? But he knew his mother was right. _Again._ And so, a plan was starting to form in his mind. He would first talk to his aunt – and perhaps Aoi.

The perfect opportunity came during breakfast. His aunt had prepared quite a nice spread for everyone; and the meal was a leisurely one – even if the mood was a bit somber. And everyone knew the reason why.

Nanaka _had_ called his aunt the night before. Not surprisingly, Nanaka had been rather demanding – no, it couldn't wait until Monday; it _had _to be Sunday. Yes, this Sunday. Tomorrow. No, she couldn't say what this was about – this was strictly a private matter between her and Sana. Yes, this was extremely important, and just couldn't wait. Yes, she understood that Sana was busy, but couldn't he just come out for _one hour_? This was really, _really _important.

In the end his aunt had given in, which was an accomplishment in itself. So Sana would be allowed to visit Nanaka for an hour – if he wanted to.

"Should I go?" Sana finally asked.

"…."

"I'm really worried about Nanaka. She is a friend and all, so maybe…"

"Yes, you are her friend," his aunt agreed. "Are you her caretaker?"

"No."

"Are you a member of her family?"

"No."

"Are you her best friend?"

"No."

"I hope you remember that, Sana."

"Yes, but I wish I could do something…"

"You're not the only one. And there are people that are in position to do more. You should understand what you can and can't do."

"Aoi?" Sana asked. He could really use a second opinion right about now.

"Nanaka – " she hesitated – "is unpredictable. You didn't see what she was like two years ago, when she started coming to school again. And I hope you won't. But – "

"Yes?"

"You have to be careful. You haven't seen what can happen; sometimes she has these attacks – "

She stopped. Why did she have to stop? It seemed like she was about to say something important – something he should know about. But try as he might, Sana couldn't get her to continue.

Maybe he'd have better luck with the aunt.

"Did my mom say anything about this?"

"We talked about it last night. She doesn't know a whole lot about Nanaka, so there was only so much she could say. But when I told her about Nanaka's call, she found it – _amusing._ I think she sensed something. And I did, too. You need to make up your mind, Sana."

"And – if I decide to go?"

"Just make it quick. The longer you stay, the worse it will go for you. Remember, you have a lot of work to do."

* * *

He would go.

He had heard the warnings. Heck, he wasn't exactly gung-ho about this, either. But in the end – he had to know. He had to find out. Just what was it that Nanaka wanted from him? And why did it have to be _him_, when she was clearly on better terms with the twins?

The location provided a clue.

Grass hills. Just a place that he used to walk by all the time – not much there, really. It was way too open an area to play hide-and-seek; it was a good place to catch insects in the spring, but it also had its share of mosquitoes and fire ants. The only real significance was the abandoned mailbox; a regular meeting spot for the group of friends –

She was there.

Wearing a straw hat, with ribbons that were tossed around by the wind. Her familiar long hair, which waved to and fro, almost as if it was moving in unison. A one-piece, yellow sleeveless sundress that hung loosely from her shoulders…

Yet her eyes were looking down, even as he approached.

"Sana," she finally said.

He bowed slightly. "Yatsushiro-san."

"Do you want to know why I called you out here?"

He nodded.

"I've been thinking. Nothing's like it used to be. Isn't it funny? We used to run around and do all kinds of things around here – and look at us now."

It was hard to disagree with that.

"I know, I'm probably being a bother. You didn't want to come here. And you have a lot of work to do. I understand, because I have to work a lot, too. But I made the time – because I really wanted to see you."

As Aoi said, unpredictable.

"I know what you're thinking. 'Just what happened to that sweet, innocent, little girl? I was really looking forward to seeing her again. But then… she changed. She's not the person I used to know. Where did she go, and how can I find her again? The gentle and kind girl that played the violin? Maybe she'll come to me once again, if I start looking in the right places…'"

Nanaka looked up – and stared at him in the eye. "I saw you… hugging Hoshino-san."

"You saw that? Look, it's a misunderstanding. We're not going out."

"It's not about that," Nanaka said firmly. "And not just that. How about all the times you talked to her at lunch? The times she came to pick you up after the meetings? All that time you spent with her at the rehearsal? And I even heard that you volunteered at her church's booth during the festival."

"Look, I don't think she's interested in me anyway – "

"You're missing the point. I've been waiting for you, Sana. Hoping, that just _one_ time, that you'd come to see me at the shrine. There were so many things I wanted to show you, and stories I wanted to tell. And some days, that hope was the only thing that kept me going. How did things change so much? Didn't you use to come over to my house all the time? I think you even stayed over for dinner a few times."

"That was when we were practicing for the recital – "

"And now you've found a replacement. It was the violin, wasn't it? I don't play it anymore, so you had to go and find someone who _did_."

"Why don't you play the violin anymore?"

She stiffened – and gave him a piercing glare. "Do you think I wanted to stop? You have _no _idea what happened. I wanted to play. I _demanded_ them to give me back my violin. But they wouldn't give it to me. Finally, I found out where they were keeping it. So I took it back. And I started to play. But – there was something wrong with it. The strings would break so easily. The bow wouldn't make any sound. And the instrument – broke into pieces. They _ruined_ my instrument, Sana."

"Na – Nanaka?"

"Those people ruined _everything_. And all they told me were lies. They said that it had been an accident. An _accident_? I heard the shots; how could it be an _accident?_ How about the tank of gasoline? Was that an _accident_, too? And they locked me in my room, and I had to jump out the window to save myself. That must have been yet another _accident_. Just how many _accidents_ were there? Did they actually expect to believe all that? How stupid do they think I am?"

"Nanaka, I didn't know – "

She bent down and produced a key. "Do you remember this mailbox? I remember you told me a story a while back: 'If you need help, or want to make a wish – write a letter and drop it in the mailbox. It will be our secret – don't tell anyone. And maybe, just maybe, you'll find what you're looking for…'"

She unlocked the mailbox with some difficulty, but it wouldn't open – it was jammed for some reason. Try as she might, she could not pry it loose – so she gave it a swift kick. The mailbox bent, but did not open, so she responded with a much more powerful kick – and the box burst open. Letters. Letters. And more letters. There must have been several dozen. As for the contents – Sana didn't even want to look, as he winced and looked away.

A distinct ripping sound could be heard as Nanaka started opening the letters. "I asked for help, but it wouldn't come. I wished for you to be here, but you never came! It didn't matter how many times I wrote you. Where were you, Sana? Why weren't you here, when I needed you? Why were you off in some faraway place? Why didn't you call or write me, even one time? Didn't it mean something to you? Didn't you remember the promise? To be there for each other at all times? To become one, in body and soul?"

"I don't remember saying anything like that – "

"It's not what you said, it's what you _did_. What _we _did. It was the day before you left, in the cave – "

Sana looked down at his hands.

"Look, if you're talking about that incident – "

– _**SLAP –**_

"Incident? All you can do is call it an _incident_? You have no idea what it did to me. Half the time, it would give me nightmares, and I wanted to strangle you for what you did to me. The other half, I wanted to you to come to me and do it to me again… and I would ask you to keep going, and not stop… I didn't know what was happening. I was so confused; it was like being split in two…"

"But… but… Shuu said it would be OK…"

That earned him another slap. "I don't care what you did with Shuu! This is about _you_. _You_ should've known better. Why did you do it, Sana? Why did this happen? And what happened to me? Please, Sana, give me an answer…"

She broke down in sobs.

"Tell me something, anything. Am I not good enough? Am I ruined? Dirty? No matter how much I wash it, it won't come off. It just won't come off! Why is that? Why do I still feel it now? Why do I want it so much? But why does it make me feel so scared and ashamed? I don't know, Sana, I don't know…"

Nanaka buried her face into Sana's chest.

"Please promise me, Sana. Help me. I need you, Sana. You're the only one who can help me. Please, say something…"

Sana tried, but the words died in his throat. Why? How? Why was it so difficult? The tears flowed out so easily, yet the words would meet a roadblock. Fear. Confusion. What could he say or do? He couldn't undo what he had done years ago. Acceptance. Realization. There was only one thing he _could_ say, he could do. He only hoped it wasn't too late…

"Nanaka! Nanaka… I'm so sorry. It's my fault. It's my fault! I didn't know. I should have known. It's just – I didn't know. Please forgive me, Nanaka. I'll try to make this right…"

Nanaka held him tight. "You don't need to say anything. As long as we can stay… like this…"

Sana held her close. "Yes, like this… I promise. We'll always be together, Nanaka."

And he continued to hold her until she stopped quivering – then wiped the tears from her eyes. And as he held her tight once again, and started running his fingers through her hair… a warm feeling permeated throughout his body, and quelled his worries, his anxieties, his pain. And as he pulled apart just a little, and stared into her calm face, which had just a hint of a smile… if only for a moment, everything seemed just right.


	8. VII: Invitation

**VII**** - Invitation**

_Day 1._

_'Hurry, oni-chan! Come down for breakfast! It'll get cold.'_

_'It's only seven o'clock, Hiromi-san.'_

_'But I made this just for you, oni-chan. Your favorite. Shrimp tempura. O – ONI-CHAN! What are you eating?'_

_'Let go, Hiromi-san. And please, stop calling me oni-chan. If you keep going like this, people will start to think that you're really my sister.'_

_'But, but… I'm your cousin!'_

There it was, the game that Shuusuke had been talking about lately. The story of a would-be light novelist and his cousin, the illustrator. And along the way, they would meet an editor, a rival novelist, a mangaka, a seiyuu, and an anime director – all of whom just happened to be cute-to-stunning females ranging from ages 15-23.

The cousin, Hiromi, was of course the lead girl – though apparently, the tsundere editor, Sayoko, had quite a collection of fans, and the spunky yet affectionate seiyuu, Ritsu, was the most popular of them all (According to Shuu, there was quite a battle going on between Hiromi and Ritsu shippers).

_Day 3._

_'Oni-chan, wake up. We need to finish this chapter before the deadline.'_

_'But it's past 2AM.'_

_'And it's due at 7. I need a few hours to look over the chapter, so you need to finish soon, oni-chan.'_

_'Any luck finding a new editor?'_

_'Sorry, but I couldn't find anyone who wanted to do it. I'll do my best, just for you – ONI-CHAN! WAKE UP!'_

_'I'm exhausted – please, I need something to keep me going…'_

_*kissu*_

'_That's not what I meant!'_

It was certainly an amusing start; so far, it was living up to its promise. Shuu had insisted that the Hiromi path was the one he should check out first, and no wonder. She was the utter antithesis of Shuri. Hiromi could cook, first of all (though she often turned the kitchen into a war zone, which the generic unnamed male had to clean up). And she was thoughtful, patient, and trusting – and thankfully, nonviolent. She was really nice, so who cared if her personality was 2-D?

_Day 4._

_I woke up with a scarf around my neck, and wrapped up in a blanket. Hiromi was already gone – _

"What are you doing?"

_Busted._

The smile remained unchanged as Aoi casually closed the menu and removed the CD. "I see, so that's what you've been doing. Don't worry, otouto-kun. I'll find a way to put it to better use."

"But it's not mine; it's Shuu's!"

"Then I'll give it to _Shuri_ next time I see her. Is there anything _else_ that I should give her?"

There was no point in resisting now. It was time to perform the last rites; Shuu's precious treasures – various magazines and visual novels – would all meet a common fate. Whether Shuu would meet the same fate was still to be decided.

Thankfully Aoi seemed to be in a forgiving mood. Of course, this meant taking on the dishes and the kitchen floor, but that was a small price to pay. His mother had been considerably more creative when she caught him.

"Otouto-kun, it's nice to see that you're feeling better. Mom and I were worried about you – with Nanaka, you never know."

"Everything's fine." Yes, it was. Everything had finally been made right, and things were finally the way they should've been from the beginning. Why had it taken so long? The longing present in her eyes, her graceful movements. And her touch had been so soft...

But this was just the beginning. That's what they had decided as they parted. A promise could only go on for so long; at some point, it had to show up in their actions. But so far, little had changed. Lunchtime conversations went on as usual, as they talked about school and activities. He still had those rehearsals with Asami. And he didn't have any time to visit Nanaka after school; he had to come straight home – not that Nanaka's schedule was any better.

But things were going to change. They had to change. They were together now, as they had declared to their friends. Maybe they could reach a point where they could hold hands in public. Or go on a real date. Or start going through the alphabet: A, B, and maybe even –

"Otouto-kun? Are you OK?"

A nod.

"Hinako-chan will be staying over for the weekend. So we have a lot of cleaning to do, otouto-kun."

Something told him that he missed a good deal of the conversation, so he offered a confused look.

Thankfully Aoi received the cue and started from the beginning. Hinako's parents had to go out of town at the last moment, and their housekeeper happened to be on vacation. So they were searching frantically for a last-minute replacement when Hinako suggested that she could stay with the Oribes – and after a few phone calls, they had come to an agreement. Hinako would be staying with Aoi and her mother until Sunday night.

"So, what do we need to do?"

Alas, Aoi had her trusty list handy, and started reading it off, one by one. Was it just his imagination, or was Aoi's smile starting to get bigger?

* * *

"Aoi-neesan! Sana-chan!"

So Aoi was a _neesan_, while he was only a _chan_ – go figure.

"Hinako-chan! We're so happy to see you!" It was scary to hear Aoi's voice rise higher than an eleven-year-old's, but at least that meant she was in a good mood.

"Thank you so much for coming to the birthday party! I loved your presents!"

"No problem," Sana answered. It had been a fun day, albeit a bit… unexpected. And it looked like today would be more of the same. First topic: school. Hinako had passed her exams (as expected) and would be entering junior high school in the fall, with a full scholarship. The school also had an escalator program for high school, so she'd be covered until college – as long as she kept her grades up. Next topic, her parents. Alas, they were getting busier with each passing day, but that wasn't necessarily bad news, because it all led to the most important topic. Hinako paused for a moment while she turned on the computer, and opened up her web album –

And there it was. A folder titled, "Sakuranomori Events Center." She opened the folder, revealing a number of documents, including a PowerPoint presentation and a humongous PDF file. First, the presentation. A dazzling array of pictures and descriptions. A shopping mall. A cultural arts center, complete with an art museum and a performing arts theater. A new city hall and police station. A hotel. An information center. A new line of houses. And there were also plans for a golf course, and perhaps even a minor league baseball team – though that was further down the road. This also meant Nature Park would be reopening, though it would have to be downsized to accommodate the new events center.

Of course, none of this would come for free.

Bonds would have to be issued. Lots of them. Up to 10 billion yen for the next five years – and it was quite possible that another bond issue might be needed. Property taxes would go up. Much of old downtown Sakuranomori would be demolished to make room for more apartment complexes and condos. Several local merchants would go out of business. Noise, pollution, and crowding – all of those things would go up, as the town grew in size.

Next, the PDF file. This looked more like a traveler's brochure, a visitor's guide to Sakuranomori. The Events Center was one of its highlights, as it provided a number of activities for the entire family. But that was not all. Nature Park was to be a place where the family could relax after a day filled with activity. And if the family wished to get away a little further – Sakuranomori served as a hub to several campgrounds and trails; and there were several bus lines that would take them to the nearby mountains.

It was an idea that had formed more than a decade ago, and really started to pick up momentum after the latest recession. Sakuranomori was "dying", people were whispering. Businesses were closing. Buildings were getting run-down, then demolished, with nothing to replace them. The schools were losing teachers, as the facilities degraded and academic performance went down. Apartment buildings were becoming increasingly vacant, with the landlords (and a particular landlady) scrambling to keep their heads above water. Something had to be done soon, or it would meet the same fate as Nature Park – once the pride and joy of the town, but now reduced to a swampland.

And Hinako's parents were among the people leading the effort. They worked for a real estate and development company headed by Wakatsuki-san – yes, Shuusuke and Shuri's father – and it was their job to pitch this idea to various businesses and corporations. The shopping mall, after all, needed shops – so would they be willing to open a store once the mall was built? It was a tough job, one that required a lot of travel – and so far, the interest was lukewarm. Without the bond issue, the talks could only go so far. As for Wakatsuki-san, he was spending most of his time and effort on trying to get the bond measure passed – and the campaigning was just getting started, in advance of the fall elections. Mailings. Flyers. Radio advertisements. Special events. Fundraisers. And later, marching teams of volunteers, door-to-door visits, and robo-calls – Wakatsuki-san wasn't about to take any chances, with so much on the line.

A glimpse to a different world. So this was the life the twins led – and Hinako, for that matter. One filled with knowledge. Power. Money. Yet a place where one false move could spell doom – surely, Wakatsuki-san would be sunk if the bond measure failed to pass, and take several others along with him. And Hinako's parents were among those in the line of fire – their livelihoods depended on the company, and they also had a large ownership stake. Hinako herself planned to invest 1 million yen in the bond offering if the measure passed – which was only a tiny fraction of what her parents planned to invest. No question, they were planning to live or die with Sakuranomori, all of them. And if things worked out, and the Events Center was a success – they would flourish greatly, along with the town.

At this point, Sana needed some oxygen. All of this was a bit much. Here he was; just last week, he was agonizing over what to do about one person. Yet now he was faced with something that held the entire city in balance – he didn't want to know what Wakatsuki-san was going through; the pressure must be immense. And Shuu and Shuri, living in such an environment – it made sense. Everything made sense. Shuu, limping through the days, unable to fully enjoy them. Shuri, a firecracker ready to go off at any moment. The stepmother, having to deal with three basket-cases at the same time. And he could see what it was doing to Hinako and her parents. The drive to excel. The preoccupation with money. And in the end, their fates would be decided by a single election; based on the whims of a few ordinary citizens.

Sana _was _granted permission to catch some air – but with a catch. Aoi handed him yet another list with her usual bright smile and cheerful voice, and it was time for him to go grocery shopping. And this one was no picnic, either. He'd have to visit at least four shops – probably closer to five or six, and he'd have to go in a certain order and even backtrack in order to catch all the specials. And there was no chance he would be able to carry all the bags, so he'd have to take a pull-cart with him. Oh, an icebox as well, for the frozen goods. He was going to need it, considering how long this trip was likely to take.

And the trip would not disappoint. Ah, he had forgotten about the waiting in lines part – so that would add another good half-hour to the total. And he was forced to run for the most part; otherwise he'd miss the ½ off sale on ground beef – it started at 6:00 on the dot and it was almost invariably gone by 6:15. Somehow he managed to make it on time, then endured yet another long line – and he was done. He had gotten everything, earned a pile of bonus points, and stayed under budget – somehow.

He needed a rest, and needed it badly. It didn't matter where; the nearest bench would do, thank you. Then again, maybe he should have looked a little more closely, because he was now faced with –

"Fujimura-sensei?"

Ah, yes, the infamous science teacher. Loved by administrators for her hard work and discipline. Universally reviled by the students for her impossible exams. It was not unheard of for students to score in the single digits, and some were literally praying just to score above 50%. He hadn't heard of a single student that managed to break 90% on one of her physics exams, and he doubted he'd see one any time soon.

"Hidaka-san?"

A sigh.

"Don't worry, Hidaka-san. You did well on the last physics exam. I just finished grading them. Do you want to know what you got?

A nod.

"You'll find out tomorrow."

A groan.

A gentle laugh. "You'll like your score, I promise."

"It's not about that."

A mischievous look – he didn't like where this was going, before she had said a single word. "So, girl problems?"

Not quite, but why did his face turn red at the worst possible time?

"You have a new girlfriend, don't you?"

W – wait, how did she know about this? He had sworn his friends to secrecy, and he didn't think anyone else had heard. My, word had gone around quick.

"Oh, it's always like that. No matter how good it is, you'll always hit a rough spot at some point. But I think this one will work out. Do your best to get through it, and I think everything will be fine."

It wasn't quite that simple –

"Don't over-think it. I don't think there's anything wrong with you two. No one does. Here, take a caramel for good luck."

She opened up the familiar yellow box and handed him a piece – which he promptly put in his mouth. This had always been one of his favorite treats; soft and chewy, yet not too sticky.

"By the way, why do you give away caramel?"

She placed a finger on her chin and thought for a moment. "It's a secret, but – these have always been my favorite snacks. I can't help but buy it whenever I see it – but I'm trying to cut down. So the easiest way is to give away as many as I can. Here, take one for the road," she offered – while taking another piece out of the box.

"Thanks," Sana replied. "I'll make sure to talk to Yatsushiro-san."

"Yatsushiro-san?" The piece was withdrawn – and she handed him the box, instead.

"Sensei?"

"I'm trying to cut down," she explained – before walking away.

* * *

There was a message waiting for him when Sana arrived.

"It's from Yatsushiro-san," Aoi explained. "She wanted to talk to you."

Sana immediately grabbed the phone and looked for a private corner – which left Aoi to take out and arrange the groceries. "Nanaka?"

"Sana?"

"Sorry for being late. I had to go grocery shopping."

"No problem. I managed to get the night off tonight, so – would it be all right to come over for dinner?"

This was one of the few times where _politeness_ would work in his favor, as he got the OK from his aunt. So maybe this wasn't a _date_, but at least it was a chance to spend some time together. And hopefully, she'd make a good impression on his cousin and aunt this time around...

No question, Nanaka was doing her part. There were smiles all around the dinner table, even from Hinako – who practically had stars in her eyes as she gushed about Nanaka's performance at the festival. Aoi and her mother's mood could only be described as pleasant, a far cry from the strained politeness during Nanaka's first visit. And Nanaka herself was something to behold – friendly, yet showing restraint; willing to talk, yet more eager to listen; prominent, yet not overwhelming. She had transformed into a refined young lady in front of his eyes; surely, she was starting to win everyone over…

Hinako had already crossed the bridge, as she wasted no time in sharing her web album with Nanaka. Then, talking about her favorite series, the _Wacky Adventures of Yeti-chan_ – which, by the way, turned out to be the only show she watched regularly. Then listening eagerly as Nanaka described her work at the shrine. The visits to the retirement home. The trip to the mountains. Her future plans, following high school. Soon, it was one question after another, and Nanaka never tired of answering them. And afterwards, Nanaka would ask Hinako questions of her own, which would be answered with equal eagerness.

Time was flying by. More conversations. Time at the piano, where first Hinako, then Sana, demonstrated their skills. Then the computer, where Hinako showed everyone her exam results, and the official website of the junior high school she would be attending. Followed by the colleges Nanaka was applying for; her mock exam results were promising and she would have a fair chance of getting into a decent college. Old pictures from childhood. Aoi had her trusty photo album ready (the traditional hard-bound type), and soon everyone was crowding around the pictures. There it was; Aoi as a young baby. Then, several more pictures of her as a baby, and a few with Sana. Pictures from various family outings – the Hidakas and Oribes would often travel together. Ah, the honors recital, where she was given a red ribbon for finishing in second place. And a picture of the four friends, Sana, Aoi, Shuusuke, and Shuri. Nanaka would join them later; though she was only in one picture, the one taken at the farewell party –

"Why am I in this picture?"

A double-take, and a realization – my goodness. Why _was_ Hinako in this picture, anyway? Sure, the hair color and style was a bit different, but besides that, well – no wonder Shuu was acting funny at the birthday party; it must have been like looking through a time machine. They would have to introduce her to Shuri at some point.

The pictures started to thin out. Aoi had a few pictures of her new friends, and more pictures from her vacations with mom, but they only occupied a couple of pages – and that was the end. And about time, since it was getting late – it was time for Nanaka to go home. And unlike last time, Sana jumped at the opportunity to walk Nanaka home, leaving the apartment before anyone had a chance to react. _Finally_. After all this time, a chance to spend some time with Nanaka – alone.

"Did you have a good time?" Sana asked, once the apartment complex was out of sight.

"Yes, thanks for having me over. I hope we can do this more often."

And so did he.

"Nanaka, there's something I meant to tell you."

"Yes?"

"It's about Asami."

Her eyes narrowed – if only by instinct.

"She is – a good violinist. And I enjoy playing with her. And maybe, in a way – you were right. I _was_ looking for someone to play with. And somewhere along the line, she became a friend. One of us. And we did a lot of things together. But…"

"Yes?"

"That's all it was. There wasn't anything else. She wasn't a replacement. No one could replace you, Nanaka. Didn't we make the promise? We'll always be together. And if anything goes wrong – I'll make it right. I'll do whatever it takes to make it happen, and…"

"Sana." she replied gently. "You don't have to do everything. You've done so much for me already. It's me, Sana. I'm the one who needs to do more. And I'm trying. There'll be some days where things don't work out, but I'll still try… and maybe, one of these days, it will all work out…"

"Nanaka?"

"I've been unfair to you. I shouldn't have been mad at you for spending so much time with Asami. Not when I stopped playing the violin. Right, Sana? If I was the one playing the violin, everything would've been different. _I _would've been the one you played with. _We_ would've been the ones playing the duet at the festival. And then – "

"It doesn't matter anymore, Nanaka."

"But it matters to me. I want to keep trying. Because I see it. Having the violin next to you makes you so happy. Was it too much to ask? I'd like to play the violin again, Sana. Maybe I won't be as good as Asami, but I want the chance. Don't you remember the honors recital from years back? We thought we would have a lot of chances to play together. And you came over to my house several times after that, to work on several new duets. I want to see it happen again; maybe it's still possible…"

Possibilities. Yes, this night seemed to be filled with them. Maybe they _could_ play together once again. And in the meantime, their relationship would grow. And one day, hopefully not in the too-distant future, they could –

"Sana, one more thing."

His face turned to meet her gaze.

"About that – incident – um, don't worry about it. I was so confused. But I thought about it for the last few days, and realized… how I really felt. What I really wanted. What I mean is – it wasn't your fault. It wasn't anyone's fault. It happened because we both wanted it. And I hope… there will be more incidents in the future."

A double take. _What did she just say?!_

* * *

Aoi was waiting outside for him when he returned.

"Otouto-kun."

Uh-oh, it was her low voice. Somehow, he didn't want to hear her next words.

"Call your mom as soon as you can."

Oh, shoot, it was way past 9:00PM. Surely she would understand; the extenuating circumstances and all –

"Don't worry; mom already explained everything. Just give her a call."

Something told him that this was a very important phone call. So without a further word, he quickly made his way to his apartment and dialed her number.

"Mom?"

"Ah, Sana."

"I'm sorry for missing the call. Aunt should have explained – "

"That's not the problem, Sana."

Right to the point, as usual.

"I heard from your aunt and cousin that you're seeing Nanaka. And they're really worried about you."

How had they found out? He had sworn his friends to secrecy and he was positive that they had been rather discreet throughout the evening. They hardly had a chance to talk, let alone spend some quality time alone.

"So I want to know – is it true?"

A reluctant nod – then Sana had to remind himself that he was on the phone.

"So here's a question. Why do you think your aunt and cousin are worried?"

This was one of those trick questions that had a lot of answers, all of which would be detrimental to his cause. The magic response was, therefore –

"I don't know."

"I don't know Nanaka very well, either. At this point, I don't know whether it matters _who_ it is. What I _do_ know is that they're worried for a very good reason. And this worries me."

"…"

"I _also_ know what you want me to say. And I wish I could say it. That I hope it would work out between you and Nanaka. That I would give you my support. But let's be honest, Sana. Do you think that's what I really believe?"

He shook his head – and after a pause, mustered a weak groan.

"Maybe it would be possible – if you were a few years older. And you had a better track record. But you're still in high school, and your track record isn't very good. The odds are against you, Sana."

He had nothing to say.

"I know what you want to tell me. It'll be different. It'll go better than last time. And I believe you. It will be different and it will be very hard for things to get any worse than they did last time. But _think_. Do you really believe that something good will come out of this? Do you have reason to expect it? If you do, let me know."

He tried. He really tried to explain. His emotions. His dedication. His promises. Things that seemed so powerful when he shared them with Nanaka, yet hopelessly overmatched in the face of his mother's cold logic. But he wouldn't give up. Not when this could be a path to _redemption_, a chance to make things right…

"I'm sure you know how I feel about this. And deep inside, you know what you should do. But I see another side of you. The part that wants to buck the odds and prove yourself. But let me tell you this: the way to prove yourself is by making good decisions. And I hope that's what you do. But, if you insist on doing something else – then prove me wrong. Make it work. I won't stand in your way forever, but I'm warning you: you have a lot of work ahead of you."

She had issued the challenge – and a daunting one, at that. The odds against him would be great. And obstacles far greater than his mother would soon arise. An evening filled with hope, turned into a night filled with uncertainty and anxiety – what would morning bring?


	9. VIII: Shock

**VIII**** - Shock**

Hot.

That word was the only thing that would occupy his mind; everything else had been driven out long ago. And by that, he meant _everything_ – things like school, work, friends, and the piano would have to take a back seat. Heck, even sleep was proving to be an uphill battle.

He was in desperate need of a vacation.

But it was still in the middle of June, a month away from summer break. Not that vacation would improve matters – he would be going back home to stay with his mother for a week, and the rest of the vacation would be spent working full-time. That was the tentative plan – there would be no trip to the mountains, where they could fish, go on hikes, and the play test of courage game at night; nor a trip to the hot springs, where they could go shopping and sightseeing during the day, and wind down by soaking in the hot water; nor a trip to the beach, where they could enjoy the sun and the water, and check out those swimsuits –

Now he was just torturing himself. He wasn't asking for the whole month off, or even a week. Just a couple of weekends would have been nice, thank you. But it looked as though even that was going to be denied him Sure, there was always room for negotiation, but when he thought about the sacrifices that would be required…

It wasn't fair. It just wasn't fair. Look at the twins, for example. They had gotten permission to go on an outing just last weekend, and they had even missed school on Monday. They should have been back by now, though they would have to hurry to make it to school on time, since there was only five minutes left –

A commotion?

Since he was the class representative, it was duty to check it out. That's what he told himself, anyway. The noise was coming from the principal's office, and he could hear the shouts of an older man. And several other voices he recognized. Shuusuke. Shuri. And the Principal. Finally, the door swung open, just in time for the twins' father to deliver his parting shot – before running off.

Shuusuke and Shuri soon emerged from the office, along with… Asami? What was going on here?

It looked like everyone's lips were sealed – what was said inside the office must have been classified information. But that didn't stop rumors from flying:

Rumor #1:

"I heard they tried to run away from home."

"With a father like that? Who can blame them?"

Rumor #2:

"Didn't you know? Shuri was caught doing drugs."

"_Again_? You'd think she'd know better by now."

Rumor #3:

"I heard someone saw them coming out of a love hotel."

"You mean – like Koi Kaze?"

Alas, it was the last rumor that picked up the most steam. And during morning break, some practical joker decided to run with it, as he (she?) used the chalkboard to draw an umbrella with Shuu and Shuri's names under it. This was getting ridiculous; this was real life after all, not some manga – such things simply didn't happen.

Still, Shuu was his friend and it was his duty to look out for him. So he went up to erase the board, when –

"Who drew this?"

Too late.

"I'm asking, who drew this? Come here right now!"

Of course, no one came up.

"If you don't come here, I'll hunt you down and beat you up!"

Shuri started to cry.

"That's it. I won't let anyone hurt my sister! I'll make you regret this for the rest of your life!"

Things got a little crazy after that. Shuu overturned a desk and started throwing chairs around; Shuri wouldn't stop crying; and Sana tried to stop Shuu from doing further damage – only to be thrown to the ground. Ugh. Sure, whoever wrote it was being really mean, but this was a bit much. And their art teacher must have felt the same way, as he sent the twins home without hesitation.

* * *

It was time for an emergency family meeting.

The news was starting to spread like wildfire. The rumors were running rampant. And in time, everyone would get hurt – and all they could do was to limit the damage.

Not that anyone saw it that way.

Yelling. Raw emotions, flying about. Pain. Frustration. Desperation. Wounded, and in desperate need of healing. Yet, all they could do was to point fingers. Refuse to accept responsibility. And in the meantime, things would only get uglier.

"How could you do this to me? This will be all over the place by tomorrow. This is how you repay me? After all your mother and I have done?"

"You call that person our _mother_? How can you say that? Our _real_ mother was nothing like that gold digger – "

A hard slap – and Shuri never even got to finish the sentence.

"That's enough! How dare you treat your mother like that! At least she didn't go around chasing men like your first mother – "

"Oh, really? How about all those guys she's seeing? Do you really think she's just going out for drinks? Who knows what's happening after that – "

Another slap. This time, a push from Shuu – in Shuri's defense. Then a punch from Wakatsuki-san – and Shuu fell to the ground.

"And you! You were supposed to be at Haramihama, not Sakakino! I let you go to visit your mother's grave, not to go on some – tryst! What were you doing over there?"

"We did visit her grave! We just stopped by on our way home – "

"You were supposed to be home by Sunday night, not Monday afternoon!"

"That's because the trains weren't running!"

"And the buses were; what's your next excuse?"

This was going nowhere fast – and it would only get worse before the day was over.

* * *

Revenge.

It would be sweet, to hit him where it hurt the most. And it wasn't hard to figure out where his weak spot was – after all, didn't he talk about it _every single day_? Wasn't he spending all of his time and money on it? Surely, that was where his heart was, as well.

"For the good of the community?" Just a nice campaign slogan. More like, "for the good of my bank account". In the meantime, he would wreck anything, anyone, that got in his way.

Well, it was about time for a little opposition. There were two choices on the ballot, after all – shouldn't people at least hear from _both_ sides before making a decision?

So slogans were formed. Pamphlets were prepared. Posters were drawn. They would have to start small – it was just her and Shuu for now; perhaps they could recruit some of their friends. And if they could make their way to downtown Sakuranomori, and start swaying a few people to their side, they might have a chance –

Ah, a roadblock.

Not from Nanaka; she was quick to volunteer, and urged Sana to do the same. But Sana was more than a little reluctant. And Asami was decidedly neutral. And none of her other friends seemed willing to help. So it would be just the three of them; still, they could cover a lot of ground, as long as they hit a few key areas –

A dead end.

Caught, on the very first day. The campaign was over. And it looked like it would stay that way, if her father had any say in it.

* * *

"Save Nature Park? Protect Downtown Sakuranomori? What is this, Shuri?"

"I'm just telling the truth!"

"What truth? Tearing down Nature Park just to build a shopping mall? What kind of lies are you telling everyone?"

"This spot was mom's favorite place! And now it's being bulldozed and made into a parking lot."

"The spot you're talking about is the reason the park closed down in the first place! And demolishing Downtown Sakuranomori? What kind of nonsense is this? I've had enough!"

"And I've had enough, too! It wasn't like this when mom was still alive. But ever since you brought that tramp home – "

"That's it – get out! Get out of the house! Apologize to her right now, if you don't want to get kicked out!"

"Why should I apologize? She'll probably go off somewhere and get drunk after all this!"

An attempted slap that never got there – as Shuu came to her defense and knocked their father to the ground.

"You too, Shuu! I'm not done with you – shape up, or get out of my face!"

In the meantime, the stepmother tiptoed away – was this her cue to make a run for it?

* * *

"Sounds rough, Saeko."

Truer words were never said.

"I'm sure things will get better after the election – just hold on until then."

Only if things were that simple.

"Maybe your husband is under a lot of pressure? The word around the bank is that this is an all-or-nothing deal for him. But everyone thinks the bond measure will pass – so I wouldn't worry too much."

"Oh, _him_, I'm not worried about. But, those kids – "

"I know, I know. So I take it that Shuri's used up all of her lifelines?"

Just hearing that name made her crave for another drink.

"You really shouldn't, Saeko."

He really was a good friend – though it could get irritating at times. He had this rule that one should stop after the first drink, and she could never get him to bend on that one. He did order a small salad, however; not that munching on lettuce would do much for her nerves.

"So, do you think _this _will be the time Shuri finally gets the boot?"

"I don't know. He's threatened her too many times to count. But let's put it this way: I won't be too sad to see her go."

"Maybe there's a way?"

She was listening.

"Isn't Shuri – a great tennis player? Made the nationals two years in a row; not too many second-years have done that. I'm sure there are a lot of schools who would love to have her on their team. Maybe, a prestigious boarding school, some place far, far away…"

She liked where this was going.

"That's a good one, Masaru. I hope I can get my husband to agree – that would solve two problems. It would get Shuri out of here, and away from Shuu – "

"Ah, they have a bad relationship?"

"You better believe it. I don't know what's worse – the fighting or the making up. Do they think I'm dumb? That I wouldn't figure out what was going on, just because I didn't see or hear them do it? I do the laundry and take out the trash, you know."

A blink – this conversation was starting to take a dangerous turn.

"Are you all right, Saeko? Let's go, I'll take you home."

"Come on, Masaru. It's still early."

A sigh – if Saeko wasn't more careful, she really was going to get into trouble one of these days.

"No, we're going, Saeko. There're a few things I wanted to talk to your husband about, anyway. There's a big meeting coming up next week."

* * *

Punishment?

Was that what he was supposed to call it? Transferring to one of the top high schools in the country. The academics were top-notch, and the tennis teams were coached by former pros. A far cry from Sakuranomori High – most people would kill to trade places with her.

Of course, Nanaka didn't see it that way.

Honestly, he was getting tired of this. Any time he had an opinion that happened to be different from Nanaka's, she declared it to be a threat to their relationship – doubly so if Asami agreed with him. And what had Asami done wrong, anyway? She thought this was a great opportunity for Shuri, and tried to be encouraging – and frankly, Sana agreed with her. Punishment was being used for slave labor and having all your weekends and vacations taken away. And being at the mercy of teachers who seemed to relish in seeing their students suffer. Or being subjected to the Chinese water torture on a daily basis, at (almost) exactly 9:00PM. Or having anything that was even remotely entertaining snatched away, in the name of upholding the "Oribe family rule". Not this. Not something that would be cause for celebration for most normal human beings.

But it was always like this. It didn't matter what he said, or what he did. It was as if he was stuck under an avalanche of debt that he could never dig himself out of – especially with Nanaka adding to the pile at every opportunity. Sure, there were occasional moments of respite, and even flashes of exhilaration, but they would soon fade away… and a face, once filled with brightness, would be replaced by a cold glare…

This one, thankfully, was not directed at him – it was reserved for her other favorite victim, Asami. And something told him that this was not going to go too well.

"What did you tell the principal?"

"I can't say."

"We're your friends. And Shuri is your friend, too. And she's in trouble. Isn't there something you can do?"

"I don't know."

"You have to know _something_. Sana saw you come out of the Principal's office. You told him something, didn't you?"

"I did what I had to do."

"You _had _to? Don't you know what Shuri's going through? She couldn't stop crying while we were on the phone. And I would've had her come over, except her dad locked her up in her room. And her dad has threatened to take her to the police. Do you have _any_ idea what's going on?"

"I told him the truth."

"The truth? Shuri's life is falling apart, and that's all you can say? And Shuu's not doing much better. Weren't they supposed to be your friends? They're being torn to pieces, and that's all you can say?"

"All I did was tell him what I saw. I wouldn't lie, Yatsushiro-san. Even if they're my friends. I wouldn't lie _because_ they're my friends."

"Oh, be that way. But look at where _truth_ – or whatever you call it – got you. Just wait. One of these days, the _truth_ will slap you in the face, and no one will be there to help you."

This was going from bad to worse – he had to do something to stop it.

* * *

This was his idea. With a bit of an assist from Aoi – who agreed to take on extra duties on Saturday.

Sure, maybe he could've picked something that had a higher batting average. But it was one of the few things that all three of them had done together, and maybe things would go better this time.

So it was off to the retirement home once again, this time minus the twins – who were presumably under house arrest, at least according to Nanaka. And their absence was felt from the beginning. The bus trip was eerily silent, the mood was somber at the retirement home, and as for Grandma Kaji – she seemed to have suffered the worst fate of them all. Her cat had recently disappeared, completing the trifecta – along with her bird and her granddaughter. She had been found sleepwalking on at least a couple of occasions, and was suffering from bouts of depression.

Thankfully, Sana and Asami had the perfect antidote prepared – a couple of soothing pieces would do the trick. And frankly, they needed it as much as she did. The usual pressures at home and school, the hot weather, and now this incident with the twins and Nanaka breathing down their necks – they could really use a change of pace. So much had changed since the spring. A time filled with hope and anticipation, and the festival that would surely be a sign of things to come…

It was so easy to get lost in Asami's playing. Her bright and melodious sound, her crisp tone, and her consistent rhythm – and the piece itself was a wonder, Massenet's Meditation from Thais. To be followed by another slow, moving piece – Bach's Air Suite No. 3 in D Major. And that marked the end of their performance. A fitting conclusion – but would it be enough? Grandma Kaji seemed peaceful and content, so they decided to leave her alone for a little while. They were about to leave the room, when Grandma Kaji asked Asami to stay and talk for a moment.

So Sana stepped out to grant them a little privacy.

"Hoshino-san… that was beautiful. Thank you."

"You should thank Hidaka-san, as well."

"It reminds me of the times when my granddaughter would come and play for me. She was so enthusiastic about playing the violin. She would play all the pieces she learned. And she could pick things up by ear, too. Songs she heard on the radio. TV shows. Video games. She was so talented, and everyone thought she was going to be really great some day. But…"

She choked up, and Asami put a hand on her shoulder for comfort.

"Sometimes, I just wish she would come back. But I know that's not possible. That's why I love hearing you play – it's the closest thing I can have. Somewhere, out there, I know that she's still playing, still watching over all the neighborhood kids… right, Asami?"

Asami smiled in response.

"Just one more thing – could you show me your violin?"

Asami seemed a bit wary, and kept a good hold on the instrument – and held out a hand to indicate that the instrument was to be seen, but not touched. She was about to face Grandma Kaji, oblivious to the flash of cold metal that came out of her sleeve…

A quick upward thrust. Then, a slow, circular motion. In response, an attempted gasp – but no sound would escape her lips.

_***THUD***_

The violin fell harmlessly on the bed. Grandma Kaji stood, staring down at her target.

_Stroke._

"I prayed every day that the evil spirit would be destroyed, but it would not be answered. I prayed _to_ the evil spirit to have mercy on the poor child, but he wouldn't answer me."

_Stroke._

"The spirit finally spoke. And he asked for sacrifices. First, the bird. Then the cat. But it wasn't enough."

_Stroke._

"He wanted something of equal value in exchange. That's why it had to be you."

_Stroke._

"Do you hear me, Motoko? Please come."

The door opened.

And the figure soon sank.

_Stroke._

It hadn't been Motoko, after all. So she would have to continue.

_Str – _

"Motoko?"

She was met by a savage kick to the head.

* * *

_Red. An endless sea of red. Why was there so much? Why was there so much…_

"Otouto-kun!"

She had been crying.

So it was another trip to the hospital. And this time, it was family only – as Aoi and his aunt were present. His mother was also on the way – this attack had been more serious than the previous one.

A recurrence. That's what the doctor had said. And this one might require a longer stay – he had seizures while he was unconscious, and they could potentially prove life-threatening if things got any worse. And the terms of his release. While they would release him as soon as it was feasible, that wouldn't end his time at the hospital. Checkups. Prescriptions. Therapy. Counseling. All of these things would be necessary – for how long, no one knew.

Serious news, but this couldn't be the whole story. Hadn't _something_ happened? He remembered, he had gone to the retirement home with Nanaka and Asami. Then, he had played a couple of duets with Asami. And afterwards, he had seen something shocking, something that sent him here, though he couldn't quite put his finger on it –

His aunt spoke.

"Nanaka is at the police station right now. She saved you, Sana. If she hadn't intervened, things could have gone very badly for you."

"And Asami?"

"Asami – was killed. She was pronounced dead at the scene."

* * *

He would play.

Maybe he was a bit short on practice. And he definitely wasn't as good as the piano teacher, who was originally slated to be the accompanist. But it was the least he could do. For the lost opportunities. Wasted potential. And in memory of their final performance…

Asami's violin teacher had come from the next town over. He would play two solos – at the start and the end of the service. And he would also be participating in the hymns, though the choir would take the lead for those. Sana's job was to accompany both solos and play along during the hymns.

Somehow, his fingers would lead the way – even as his mind was slowly losing grip. _Why? How? What could I have done to prevent this?_ Deep inside, he knew these were silly questions. And his mother had confirmed them to be so, in person. When it came down to it, he wasn't the one locked up in an asylum with a permanent injury.

But it was still difficult. Painful. And he wasn't alone in this. Asami's family. Her classmates. Nanaka, holding Asami's violin case – a gift for her act of heroism and valiant efforts to save Asami's life. Members of her church – dozens of them, including Hinako and her parents. His own family. And even a glimpse of Wakatsuki-san and his wife, though they were buried somewhere in the crowd. The twins must have been somewhere nearby.

A eulogy.

"For most people who knew Asami, she was one of the gentlest, kindest people they had known. Always with a smile on her face. Willing to help out, not only at the retirement home and her church, but whenever she saw a person in need. Thoughtful and considerate. And a high achiever; at school and with her violin. A true angel from heaven – is what some people would say."

"But those closest to Asami knew there was another side to her. A true angel, indeed – but very different from the person most people knew. Let's not forget that true angels, as revealed in the Holy Word, are very different from the picture most people have of angels. They were not peaceful, gentle winged creatures in the sky that played the harp all day and had halos over their heads. No. Sometimes they appeared as ordinary men, and other times revealing God's glory – but their mission was the same. They were battlers. They fought wars. And they struck fear into people's hearts – and their mission was always to lead people towards God, and to demonstrate God's glory."

"Just ask the children at Sunday School. They will say that she could be nice and gentle – but also mean and scary, when necessary. And very, very strict at times. But in the end, little by little, they would discover joy in worshipping the Lord. Ask her family. They weren't always liked, but they were always loved. And while others might resort to sweet words, she always demonstrated her love through her actions, to the very end."

An end that came much too soon. Her life, and her service. A gap that would not be filled any time soon, a wound that would not close…

All he had now was the piano. It was the only thing keeping him going; everything else was slowly becoming blurrier… but as long as the service continued, he would continue to tap out the notes. Until the end…

And the end would come, and the piano would no longer emit any sound. And perhaps, for a long time. For there was no longer anyone to accompany, or to be accompanied by. It would have to stand alone, or not at all…

* * *

Pain.

Doubly so, for the pair that was boarding the train. Sadness at their friend's death, and remorse for not being at her funeral. But it was now or never; they would not get another chance.

Regret?

Would this lead to freedom, or to their doom? Yet they had to take the chance. If they didn't, doom was guaranteed – they had gone too far, and there was no way out.

"Shuu, are you sure about this?"

"What else we can do? You're going to be transferred. Then you'll be left all alone. And when they find out…"

Tears. Just enough to make her eyes moist – the stream would come later.

"But – there's something that isn't right. It's not right. I hope there was another way…"

"But there isn't. And it's too late now. What are you going to do? We can't undo what we've already done. And even if we could – can you really say that you regret it? Weren't you just following your heart? Please, Shuri, don't leave me now. From now on, let's always be together…"

Her face changed color – was it motion sickness? Or something else?

"Weren't you the one who was always protecting me from bullies? Picking me up when I fell down? Encouraging me when I was sad? Please, give me a chance to pay you back. This time, I'll be the one pulling your hand. Let's go far away, where no one can reach us. And from now on, I'll take care of you, and will always be with you…"

She clutched her stomach – and rushed to the nearest restroom. She was losing her bearings now, and fell to the ground; Shuu had to pick her up and steady her, so that she could empty the contents of her stomach into the toilet.

"It hurts! I'm scared. I'm so scared… What's going to happen? What if they find out?"

Familiar words, albeit in a different context. And his response would be the same. He hugged her from behind, and stroked and soothed her. From now on, they would always be together…

"Shh. It will be OK. I'll be there for you, no matter what happens. Don't cry, Shuri. Don't cry."

He wiped the tears from her cheeks, and stared into her face – and she closed her eyes.


	10. IX: Ceremony

**IX**** - Ceremony**

An explanation.

Yes, one was due. Shuusuki and Shuri Wakatsuki, missing. Ran off during their close friend's funeral, no less.

Obviously, something was going on.

Wakatsuki-san had accepted the blame. He had been too hard on them, he admitted. Nonstop fights at home. Shuri's drug arrest, and her sentence – she had been lucky to avoid expulsion and reform school; Wakatsuki-san had fought like crazy to reduce it to probation and community service. And lately, the Sakuranomori Events Center and the bond issue. He had invested his sweat and blood to try to make this happen – and when he heard that Shuri was trying to mount an opposition campaign, he had snapped. He couldn't take it anymore – and threatened her with all kinds of things. In light of that, it wasn't too surprising that she would run away from home; especially since she had threatened to do it several times in the past. As for Shuusuke, he had always taken his sister's side, and this would be no exception.

Of course, they had been caught.

Saeko was like a bloodhound. And thanks to her help, the twins were stopped just a few stations away from Sakuranomori.

Yet, they would not be coming home.

That's what they had agreed on, in the ensuing family meeting. Their wish would be granted – they would be allowed to leave home, and they would not be separated. And their living expenses would be paid for, until Shuusuke and Shuri graduated from high school. Of course, there was a catch somewhere – but it would remain a private matter, even to their closest friends.

"I'm not sure whether you'll ever see them again," Wakatsuki-san had said. "We've had – some issues. And I tried my best, but it wasn't enough. Maybe this is something that will never be overcome. It was their decision to leave – and all we can do is to respect their choice."

Somewhat skimpy on the details; this must have been classified information as well. But Sana and Nanaka knew better than to pry further – some things were just meant to remain private.

* * *

So it was now just him and Nanaka.

She was doing her best to comfort him – even now, she was rubbing up against his arm, as he opened his bento. But he was in no mood to eat.

It wasn't the food; his aunt had prepared it herself. And there were no Shuri's in the family, in any case. As for Nanaka, her presence was barely felt, even as she rested her head on his shoulder. Finally, Nanaka gave up and let go – and started eating her own lunch.

"Sana. I got to talk to the violin teacher at the funeral. He said he'd be willing to take me on as a student. I'll have to talk to my uncle and aunt – but hopefully I can start taking lessons in the next week or two."

He lacked the energy to give a response.

"This weekend – I think I can free up a couple of hours on Saturday evening. Would that be a good time? How about the karaoke place? Or shopping?"

A weak groan.

"If you don't want to go out, you can come visit the shrine and hang around. There're a few things I'd like to show you. And you can play the piano if you want. I'm still working on the violin – but maybe we can play a few simple songs."

A slight movement, and that was all.

"Sana, say something. Please. Look at me. I'm here, right in front of you. Aren't we together, in body and soul? Let me know what I can do for you. I've already given you everything… but if you want, I'll find a way give you even more."

A sulk, and slight signs of a tremor.

Nanaka held Sana in her arms. "It'll be OK, Sana. I know it hurts. I know you miss them. But I'm still here. I'll always be here. Please, cheer up, Sana."

Somehow, it just wasn't having an impact.

* * *

"Aoi."

She remained calm and silent – she had long since figured that her usual cheerfulness would only make Sana feel worse.

"Aoi-san, what's going on?"

She raised an eyebrow.

"Is there something – you know? You can tell me. About Shuri and Shuu. And Nanaka. And Asami. I want to know. I need to know what happened, while I was gone. Because I didn't know. And I couldn't see. And this whole thing became messed up…"

A small smile – and she told Sana to wait, while going to her room to get her album.

She opened the album to the part where Shuu and Shuri made their first appearance. "It was a long time ago. I think it was in elementary school when we first met them. Don't you remember? Shuu and Shuri were always getting into scrapes and getting in trouble. It seemed like their parents were being called in every other week. Sure, they told us that it wasn't their fault, but still…"

Aoi pointed to the picture taken at the farewell party. "And Nanaka, she was only part of the group for a short time. She came just before you left, I think. After you left, everyone went their separate ways. I was going to a different school. And the twins didn't know Nanaka that well, and besides, she was starting to act really strange."

"You've probably heard the rest of the story – Nanaka lost her parents in the fire, and Shuri was arrested for using drugs. By that time, we'd already been apart for years, and I had my own friends from school. So I thought – it was best to let it go."

"But – weren't they your friends? Why?"

"You just said it. They used to be my friends. But by then, I hardly saw or talked to them. And even if I did – there was only so much I could do. Isn't that right, otouto-kun? How many times have you wished that you could do something for your friends – but just couldn't?"

She had a good point.

"It's hard. There's always that voice that tells you that things will get better. That everything will be OK, as long as you work at it. And I used to believe in that voice. But the problem is that it's simply not true. Not everything gets better. Sometimes it gets worse. And sometimes, a LOT worse."

Indeed, they had.

"I'm sorry. I should have told you this earlier. I – didn't know what to do. I thought the easiest thing to do was to leave everything in the past, and I thought you'd do the same."

Well, he hadn't, and now it was too late.

"About Nanaka. I guess she's your girlfriend now. All I can tell you is – be careful. You can't push her too far. I haven't seen her too often, but I've heard the rumors. And she almost got sent back to the mental hospital a couple of times. People are afraid of her for a good reason, otouto-kun. Remember that."

He would.

* * *

Had she been sent back to the mental hospital?

He was being paranoid, he reasoned. Nanaka had been perfectly fine the last time he had seen her. Most likely, she had come down with something.

Still, this was the second day she missed school, so Sana figured he owed her a call. Alas, her cell phone had been turned off, so he would have to try her at home:

"Could I speak to Nanaka?"

"Sana."

Ah, so it was Nanaka after all.

"Are you all right? I haven't seen you at school the last couple of days."

"Come over right now."

My, she was being rather demanding; that was a luxury that he simply didn't have. By now, she should have understood what his schedule was like –

"I've already told your aunt. Come here as soon as possible."

A confirmatory phone call – and a similar response from his aunt. He was ordered to pay Nanaka a visit, immediately.

Now this was downright bizarre.

And the streak would continue as he arrived at the shrine, where Nanaka lived with her uncle and aunt. Nanaka didn't come out to greet him; the honor was done by Nanaka's uncle. Nanaka had remained inside, as Sana found her in the living room – kneeling in front of a small foldable table, examining several documents. Her aunt was sitting next to her.

"What is going on?" Sana finally managed to ask.

"Take a look," Nanaka's uncle answered. Nanaka handed over some of the documents. Medical exams, and their results. Bills. And an official document with his and Nanaka's name on it –

My goodness.

"Sign and date there, and put the seal underneath it when you're done," Nanaka remarked. "We'll be having the ceremony tomorrow."

"What – what is this?"

"You should have figured that out by now," Nanaka's uncle cut in. "The test results should tell you everything you need to know."

"But – how?"

"Do you need me to tell you? You need to take responsibility for what you've done. You got my niece into trouble – now make her into an honest woman."

"But – how do you know it was me?"

The words were met with revulsion from all sides, and Sana immediately wished he could have them back.

"We'll have them run a DNA test as soon as possible," Nanaka's uncle confirmed. "But I think we all know what the result will be. I've already talked to your mother, and she will be coming down later tonight. We'll be performing the ceremony tomorrow, then turn in the paperwork – "

Did he even have a say in any of this?

"I – I can't do this! I'm still in high school. It's too early – "

"Oh, really? You didn't say that while you were getting Nanaka into trouble. And this isn't the first time you've gotten a girl into trouble, is it?"

The secret was out.

Nanaka rushed to her room, in tears. Her aunt followed, in an effort to comfort her – only to be locked out. And her uncle – there was a dangerous gleam in his eyes.

"It's time for you to be a man. And do the right thing. Look at what you've done to Nanaka. You're the only one who can clean up this mess. You have to take responsibility. We'll help you two, the best we can – but you have to take the first step."

"But – I don't know – "

"Hidaka-san, do you love Nanaka?"

He was cornered now. There was only one answer he could give – if he wanted to live to see tomorrow.

So he nodded his head.

"Think. When a man and a woman love each other, they get married and have children. I think you know that much, Hidaka-san."

"But I'm not ready – "

"I think you said you were ready when you did what you did. If you really love Nanaka, you will do this."

"But – but – isn't there another way?"

"Haven't you learned from what happened the first time? Nanaka says she's going to do the same thing. I'm against it, but I know that she will find a way. You have a choice, Hidaka-san. If you do the right thing, you will have a wife, a child, and two families that are willing to support you. But if you don't, there will be no wife, no child, and your own family will turn their backs on you."

Silence.

"Hidaka-san, don't you have something to say?"

"I should've been more careful… It was an accident; I didn't mean to… I know, none of this would've happened if I had used protection… why did things have to turn out this way? I don't know what to do… Why did she have to turn out that way? Why couldn't it just – disappear? I can't do this – I can't! What am I supposed to do? I don't know. I just don't know…"

"SANA!"

That got his attention.

"Go to her room right now. And apologize."

He complied.

"Nanaka?"

Followed by a gentle knock, but no response.

"I'll do my best, Nanaka. I promise. We'll get married tomorrow – "

"Get lost."

"I'll work hard. I'll do anything, to keep our promise – "

"Oh, really? How long did you keep it the first time?"

She wasn't making this any easier for him.

"I guess in the end, I wasn't any good. That's why you ran off and did it with some other girl as soon as you got the chance. Isn't that right?"

"Nanaka, please listen!"

"I heard you loud and clear. You want to get rid of – _it_ – don't you? It's our child, and that's all you can say! Like it's something you can use once and throw away."

"But Nanaka – "

"And now you want to do the same thing with me. I know. I'm used. Second-hand. Spoiled. And you're the one who made me this way. Now you're going to throw me away and look for someone different. Someone _fresh_. Just like you did with that other girl."

"No, Nanaka. Please! Let me explain."

"Why should I? I've had enough of your explanations. You explained things just fine behind my back. I'm sick of all this. Just leave me alone!"

"It'll be different this time. I'll try my best. Please, give me a chance…"

"I used to hear that line all the time from my dad. But things never changed. They never got better. He was always running off somewhere. With someone. But mom was always giving him another chance. I asked her why she was doing this, when he never kept his promise. But she always told me that I didn't understand. And maybe I didn't. But I understand _now_, Sana. You're not going to put me through all that."

"I won't. I promise."

"I don't know what to believe anymore. Maybe it's not your fault. Maybe all guys are like that. Maybe they never bother to screw their heads on. Maybe mom finally figured it out at some point, because she couldn't take it anymore, and decided to unscrew it all the way!"

"Wha – "

"You never knew that part, did you? Sure, that was another _accident_. I'm tired of that word. It's a word that cowards use when they feel like running away. Lies. They were all lies. I don't want to hear any more lies! Just tell me the truth. Just once. Whether I'm 'ready to hear it' or not. Even if it hurts my feelings. Would it kill you to tell me the truth? Anyone? I don't care how bad it is; tell – me – the – truth!"

"Nanaka. I don't know. I'm scared, too. And I don't know what will happen. But please, give me just one more chance. Let's get married. Let's do our best to raise our child. I promise to love you, Nanaka. Even when things go wrong. Even when it's hard. Because that hasn't changed. We still have the promise. And I still want to live up to it. Maybe things won't be perfect, but I'll always try. And so will you. And maybe it'll happen, maybe we'll always be there for each other, and become one in body and soul. Because I'll remember. We'll remember. And we'll both work hard to make that happen…"

"I'm going to take a bath. I'll think about it," Nanaka announced. And that was the sign for Sana to make his way back to the living room – from one lion's den to another.

Only, the pack had grown.

Aoi and his aunt were also there. And soon, his mother would be there to join them.

Sana knew when he was trapped.

This was rather unnecessary, really. He had already agreed. And he signed and stamped the documents; all that was remaining was his mother's signature. He didn't need any more lectures at this point. He couldn't undo what was already done, and he had accepted responsibility and done everything he could.

Alas, he was outvoted four to one; and so, the lectures continued. Shame and humiliation. Warnings and threats. And only occasionally, a (slight) show of support. How long would this go on? How long _could_ this go on? Somehow, he was getting the feeling that they were biding time until his mother arrived, or Nanaka, or both – at which point, he would be subjected to a fresh set of lectures.

Speaking of Nanaka, where was she?

It had been a couple hours since she went into the bath – she must be holed up in her room by now. So Sana knocked on the door, only receive no response, so he opened the door –

Empty.

Did this mean she was _still_ in the bath? She'd been in there way too long; she could easily pass out from the heat. There was only one way to find out –

A brownish tinge. A butcher knife. A body. It had passed out, all right, but not from the heat. And when he took a closer look –

The location. If her goal had been to get rid of – _it_ – she could not have chosen a better spot.

* * *

There would be a ceremony after all.

The location and the audience would remain unchanged. The reason – would not.

And this time, he would not be playing the piano.

What was there to say? Or do? A senseless death. A life, snuffed out prematurely.

It wasn't supposed to be like this.

A day of great joy. Promise. Maybe the circumstances were less than ideal, but the possibility was still there. And just for one day, all disagreements would be set aside, and it would be a time filled with love, a cause for celebration.

Or at the very least, they would make the attempt.

Now, it simply would not be necessary. The document would remain unsigned – after all, his mother reasoned, you couldn't marry a dead person.

The rare sign of logic, in the face of chaos. Nothing made sense anymore. Random tears. Broken speech. And finally, silence. The ceremony would be kept mercifully short, and for that, everyone was thankful.

Only, it wasn't short enough for Aoi.

She fell sick, and had to be taken home. Yet another casualty; there seemed to be a lot of those lately – Sana wondered who was going to be next.

"Sana."

Ah, his mother. Was he next?

"It looks like I was wrong."

A rare event, but no one was perfect.

"After last time, I didn't think it was possible for things to get any worse. I'm still trying to figure out how this happened."

So was he.

"If you're wondering about Riko, she's out of the hospital. She's going to school again."

At least her life had been spared. For a while, even that had been in doubt – she was hospitalized for a long time. It was supposed to be safe. Quick. Easy. A few minutes, and it would be over. Only it wasn't, as she collapsed in a pool of red –

He wasn't supposed to be there. He was going against her wishes, and probably breaking several laws while he was at it. But he had to try. Wasn't it _his_ child as well? Why couldn't he have any say as to whether it lived or died?

In the end, he didn't. A mass of tissue was all that was left – how much of it came from the would-be child, no one knew. One life had disappeared, and a second one was in danger. And all he could do was stand by and watch – and soon, even that would be denied him. Security. Doctors. Riko's parents. The judgment was unanimous and swift; he would be cast off, away from Riko's side…

"I wouldn't try to contact her, though. I don't think she wants to see you again."

He had already made that mistake. Apologies. Declaration of love and support. Gifts, and wishes for her to get well soon.

For that, he had been repaid with a hard slap. Wasn't she supposed to be recovering? Where did she find the strength? She followed up with several kicks, yet he remained frozen, taking blow after blow…

After that ordeal, he had promised himself that he would get it right next time. And it was with Nanaka, his first love; and she still loved him, even after years of separation… it had to be better, didn't it? It couldn't possibly be worse, right? Yet… how did this happen? How could it happen? Then again… at least this meant he was off the hook.

"Oh, Sana. Pick yourself back up. You're not the one who's dead. So, is there any place you want to go for lunch?"

Was she trying to cheer him up?

"There's no catch – I think you've been punished enough. We can talk about whatever you want."

Trouble was, there wasn't anything to talk about. Correction; there wasn't anything _good _to talk about.

But he figured he might as well take his mother up on her offer. She was in a good mood, after all – at least by her standards.

* * *

It was back to the apartment.

The lunch had been strangely uneventful. His mother spent most of the time talking about work, while Sana scrambled to find a topic before finally commenting on the new Sakuranomori Events Center – and the upcoming election.

His mother had some interesting things to say. If the bond measure passed – which was a huge favorite at this point – a lot of things would be changing. The timing couldn't have been better conceived; it was right at the point of recovery, while property values and labor costs were still low. The bonds would sell like hotcakes; the local banks were looking for more capital, and the bonds would surely give them more ammunition. And with property values skyrocketing and tax rates going up, city revenues would explode as well – more than enough to make the interest payments. Now as long as the Events Center proved to be a hit – and there was no sign that it wouldn't be – Sakuranomori would be the place to be, for some time to come.

"I'm thinking of moving back," his mother confided. "There will be a lot of places looking for new workers, and there's a good chance that I can find a better job here. And I'm sure Sis will give me a good deal on the rent."

"And Sis, she should do well. The value of the complex could double in the next five years. Hopefully she can hire someone full-time instead of having everyone work day and night."

That would be a relief. Still, the elections were a few months away, and it would be some time before any of these things happened. In the meantime, he was still on the hook; and he doubted that even a devastating, life-shattering event would be enough to change that. See? The note was still there, with the usual list of tasks for the day –

Only, the note was not for him.

_Sachiko,_

_I had to take Aoi to the hospital. Please give me a call, and come down as soon as you can._

_– Kaori_


	11. X: Revelation

**X**** - Revelation**

She was wearing a cap.

It was hopeless, everyone agreed. It had spread too far, too fast. Barring a miracle, the best they could do was to give her a few more months. In the meantime, the clock would continue to tick down, and all she could do was to wait for the inevitable – while living her days in sickness and misery, and running up medical bills that ran well into the millions.

Yet the doctors had insisted, and the insurance company had agreed to pay for it – so they would try. The one in a hundred chance for full recovery. There were miracles, after all.

"I should have told you this before," Aoi mused. "I should've known. Maybe I was being naïve. Maybe I thought it would go away all on its own. Or maybe I thought – as long as I tried my best, and lived each day to the fullest, it wouldn't matter."

"But it did matter. It changed the way I lived. The decisions I made. Maybe I'd still be playing the piano. Maybe I would be going to college. Instead of staying at home, working all the time, and waiting for – _this_ – to happen."

That was rather harsh.

"The doctors gave me 6 months to a year. And that's if I'm lucky. Why does it have to take so long, otouto-kun? It hurts so much. And the drugs make me sick. It's hard to eat. It's been so long since I've had a good night's sleep. The next time I have one, I won't be waking up from it."

A sympathetic look would have to do – really, what could he say?

"A few months. I guess it's enough time to graduate from high school. Maybe you can help me, Sana-chan. Could you talk to my teachers? Maybe we can arrange something. If someone brings me my assignments, I can do them here. And someone can turn them in for me after I'm done. Tests – that'll be harder, but maybe there's something we can do about that."

He would try. He would take on the entire burden, if possible… didn't he owe her at least that much? All the late-night study sessions. Phone calls and visits, whenever he got stuck. Snacks, and words of encouragement. All the little things, which would add up into something significant, forming an enduring presence that had supported him from day one…

Yet, it would all disappear.

_But_ _not yet_, Aoi reminded him. There was still a little time. He would be welcome to visit her at the hospital, but not more than once or twice a week – he would be needed at the apartment, now more than ever. If he wished to do more, there were other things he could do to help. He could find ways to comfort her mother; any little gesture would help. He could call her closest friends and remind them to visit – they had promised to see her at the hospital, and take turns in delivering her schoolwork. And, if he had a just a little time, he could read the story that she was working on, which would hopefully be finished in the time she still had left…

Ah, the story.

She hadn't made much progress since the last time he had seen it. The young salaryman, caught up in the toils of everyday life. His only solace, a short train ride to and from his workplace. And a lovely young woman who he often saw during his journeys…

And the rest of the cast. His two friends – his co-workers at the workplace, and fellow members of a most dysfunctional team. His best friend – a risk-taker, both in his work and in his love-life. And the female friend, who seemed to enjoy talking about relationships more than actually getting into one. So far, the story was a screwball comedy, with the three getting into one escapade after another; and their schemes would fail as often as they succeeded.

Well, at least they had a 50% success rate. And even if their careers didn't progress, they still shared a strong bond, had some enjoyable experiences, and – most importantly – time was on their side. Aoi had been right, it _did_ matter. Though it was only fiction, Sana couldn't help but root for the protagonist; that he would find what he was looking for, before it was too late…

* * *

Another treatment.

Wasn't it supposed to provide hope?

Yet, his eyes and ears were telling him something different.

Pain. Yet unable to cry out, as she simply lacked the energy to do so. So, it would slowly seep into her mind, and wreak havoc on whatever was within. And in time, it would rot away, leaving only an empty shell behind…

It was a form of cruelty. Everyone knew what the final result would be. It was madness to pin everything on a one-in-a-hundred chance. Didn't anyone understand what that actually meant? Heck, even his mock exam scores gave him a 2% chance of getting into a first-class university, but not _one_ person – not even himself – felt it would be a wise move to try for such elite schools. Her chance of survival was basically a statistic: a wild speculation based on unfounded hope, and not based on any reasonable fact. They might as well call it one in a million; the result would be the same. The doctors and the insurance company would insist on continuing treatments until the end – whether it came from the treatment or the disease itself.

Already, one part of Aoi had died.

Her smile was now gone. And with that, her cheerful and encouraging words. She was growing more and more unrecognizable with each passing day, as her attributes dwindled one by one.

Her love of food, for example. Her mother was always serving up her favorite dishes. Sana himself had chipped in on a few occasions. Only to be turned down, without fail – it hurt too much to eat, she explained. And swallowing was next to impossible. It was a chore just to drink water these days – and spicy food was out of the question. Soon, she would have to be fed through tubes; even a liquid diet would be pushing it.

So food was out.

And music was out as well. She would ask him not to play, before he even managed to get the keyboard out of the case.

But there had to be _something_. _Anything_. And maybe there was _one_ thing she still enjoyed; she was still working on her story, on top of all her school work – and she would often ask him to read it aloud. But even then, there was cause for alarm. The story was starting to take a darker turn. It had started so innocently, when the protagonist's female co-worker offered to set him up with the woman he had seen on the train. And after a couple of false starts and misunderstandings, they had started going out in earnest. Ah, but there were some roadblocks. While the woman was indeed beautiful, gentle, and kind, she was also – a single mother. The protagonist was starting to lean on his female co-worker more and more, for advice and support. In the meantime, the team itself was starting to suffer, with everyone's love lives spilling over into the workplace.

Was this destiny?

Yes, Aoi had warned him. 'Sometimes, things don't get better – they get worse.' But that couldn't be true _all_ the time. If that was true, what was he doing in Sakuranomori in the first place? Hadn't they hoped? Hadn't they believed? They had to, for such a thing as _redemption_ to be possible. He would work. He would put his life back together. And in the meantime, he would support and help those around him… couldn't Aoi recover, and become the cheerful, hard-working cousin he always knew? Couldn't the bond issue go through, which would allow his aunt to ease up on everyone? Couldn't his relationship with his mother improve to the point where they could at least tolerate each other?

Perhaps. Perhaps not. But as things stood, darkness had descended upon Aoi, until it was all that she could see. There would be no ray of light. No escape. Not even in a work of fiction, the way things were going. And while she hadn't reached the state of utter surrender – at this point, even one in a hundred was starting to look generous.

* * *

Had it arrived?

No, not a miracle cure; the chance of that was dwindling still. But maybe, just maybe, this could provide a spark.

The twins were apparently alive and well. And they had sent a package and a postcard, addressed to him and Aoi – the surviving members among the circle of friends.

So Sana brought them over during his next visit; he felt it would be better if they opened it together. Sana did the honor of opening the box, and the contents looked promising. There were presents for both of them, and they were good ones, at that. An apron and a pair of oven mitts, presumably for Aoi; his gift was a fishing pole, which he quickly assembled – accompanied by a tackle box, fully stocked. The twins must have been doing quite well, indeed.

"Aoi-san, what do you think of your present?"

Aoi didn't seem to hear him; she was still reading the postcard.

"Aoi-san, did you hear me? Here. Don't you think this apron is nice? How about the mitts? Once you get well, let's start cooking again. There're a lot of recipes I'd like to try out. And look at what I got. What do you think of the fishing pole?"

Silence.

"Aoi-san, these presents are for you. Please take them."

Instead, they dropped to the floor – to be joined by the postcard, which was flung to the ground. And a picture. A barely-recognizable Shuu; since when did he have a beard? And… _Yuzuki-sensei_? Wait, this one had lighter hair. And she was holding a baby in her arms –

The postcard.

*

_Sana and Aoi,_

_We hope you still remember us. It's been so long since we left. We wish we could come visit you, but dad said it was too risky. Maybe in a few years… maybe when people in town can accept us._

_We hope you like the picture. Isn't he adorable? Our child was born last month. Oh, we wish you two can come and visit us. And Nanaka, too. We asked dad about that, but he won't let us invite you. Or even keep in touch with you. He always says the same thing: it's too risky. But you can keep it a secret, right? You can even call us by our new names, Takashi and Kiyoko Yamagata. It would be great if you can come over – we'd love up catch up with you._

_Don't worry about us; we're doing fine. Dad has really been supportive, and promised that he would take care of us until we finished school and found work. We've made a lot of new friends in our new town. And, as for us… we'll always have each other; no matter what. True love found a way, and made the impossible happen. And we are hoping that both of you will remember that, and make it happen in your lives. We'll be rooting for you – _

_Shuusuke and Shuri Wakatsuki_

_P.S. Call us Takashi and Kiyoko Yamagata, from now on! E-mail us at _ _and let us know what's going on._

*

What – what _was_ this?

"Aoi-san?"

A muffled cry would be her only answer.

"Aoi-san, what's going on?"

The cry only grew louder.

"What do you want me to do with the apron – "

_**– SNAP –**_

The fishing pole was now broken into two. Sana quickly wrapped them up with the apron – and after a thought, added the mittens to the pile, and put them in the wastebasket. There was no need to ask; Aoi had already given her answer.

"Aoi, do you want to talk?"

She didn't. She _couldn't_ – so Sana would stay by her side, until she cried herself into exhaustion.

* * *

Another day, another visit. Would this be the last? No one knew the answer; yet the chances were increasing by the moment. Aoi's fate was sealed; all he could do now was to make the best use of the time they had left.

Of course, it might help if she bothered to talk.

The incident with the twins might have been the final nail in her coffin. Ever since then, she had been reduced to one-word answers – and only occasionally, at that. She even resorted to using a whiteboard for communication at times; complaining that it was too painful to speak.

But as long as she remained in the realm of the living, Sana felt he might as well keep trying – he owed her that much.

"Aoi-san?"

No answer – not even from her whiteboard.

"Are you OK?"

"No."

So she could still talk, though her voice had lost all tone. It was a only a matter of time until she would speak in whispers – if at all.

"Aoi-san, I've been reading your story. And – I have a question. What's wrong with the main character? His girlfriend treats him well. And her daughter likes him, too. So why is he doing this to her? I know that his co-worker likes him, and they've known each other longer, but still – "

"Then there was the old classmate from high school. And his co-worker's best friend. Just how many women is he going to do it with? I don't understand, Aoi-san. Why can't anyone tell him to stop?"

"You're right. No one told him to stop."

"That doesn't mean it's OK for him to do all that."

"Does it? No one said it wasn't. His best friend thinks that this makes him a 'real man'. And not one woman said the word 'no'. Actually, all of them said the word 'yes'."

"But – "

"Then they told him to do it again, and again, and again. All he did was to give them exactly what they wanted."

"But – that's ridiculous! Doesn't he have any common sense? It doesn't matter what people are telling him; he should know better. Can't he tell the difference between right and wrong?"

"Maybe he can."

"Then why doesn't he stop?"

"That's what I'm trying to figure out. I want him to get a hold of his life. That's why I keep giving him chances. But when I start writing, he has a mind of his own. He just keeps messing up. And it doesn't matter what he does – he just makes things worse. It's not because he isn't trying. He really wants to redeem himself. But the problem is that he has no idea what he's doing."

"What can he do?"

"I don't know. I wish I knew. Mom and I have been trying to figure it out for a long time. It's not simple. It's one of those things – even if you really want it and you work really hard for it – sometimes, it just doesn't happen. Maybe, it takes a miracle."

"A miracle?"

Aoi tried to respond, but could only produce a wheezing sound; she had lost her voice once again. She started to scrawl on the whiteboard – but finding the space insufficient, asked for a pencil and a notebook.

_- Yes, a miracle. It doesn't happen for everyone. Everyone tried so hard. Nanaka. The twins. Asami. But for one reason or another, the miracle just didn't happen for them._

Good point. Nanaka – dead. Asami – dead. And the twins – well, worse than death. And Aoi, who tried harder than anyone else – dying.

Was there any justice in the world?

_- But I think it will be different for you. Because I think you understand. That redemption isn't something that comes from hard work. It takes hard work, but it's not enough. There is something else involved, something outside of you; a precious gift that will last for a lifetime…_

He couldn't understand a word she had written – just what did she mean?

Maybe a change of topic would help.

"How about the character in your story? Should he give up? Or is there still something he can do?"

_- It's never too late, and he shouldn't give up. But I don't think it's going to happen for him. Because he's missing something that you have. Do you know why he did it with all those women? Because he thought it was OK, as long as he was in love and they both wanted it. So, he kept doing it. But after a few times, he got tired of her, so he looked for someone else to do it with._

Ouch.

_- But I don't think you're like that. You don't make excuses. You don't try to justify yourself. You still mess up, but you're willing to take responsibility. I heard about what happened with Riko. Even after she became pregnant, you tried to do the right thing. You still wanted to be with her, and to be a father to her child. And find a job and get married, as soon as possible._

_And even after she aborted the child, you still tried to win her back. Why did you do that? She made it clear that she wanted no part of you._

A pause, and Aoi lifted her eyes toward his, searching for an answer.

"I thought it meant something."

A quizzical look.

"A promise. It was about a year and a half ago. We were on our way back from a date, when we got caught up in a rainstorm. I wanted to head home, but Riko told me to wait – there was something she wanted to show me."

"So we took a detour on our way home, a short hike up a small hill. The storm cleared up just about then, and we saw it – a rainbow. Then she told me a story. When two people make a wish under the rainbow, their wish will come true. So we made a wish then and there; that we'd always remember each other, no matter what happened."

"It was one of those magical moments. Our relationship really took off after that. We thought we'd always be together, and that nothing would get in our way. And we'd always remind each other of our promise…"

Yes, and affirm it with words and actions. Each time, Riko would ask for a little more – and Sana would give it to her. Then a little more. Then a little more. Until, that fateful day when everything came crashing down… why was it that this thing called pregnancy always got in the way? First with Riko, then Nanaka. They were asking for it all along; yet in the end, it was all his fault? Maybe that's how all girls were – they were never willing to accept their half of the blame.

Of course, he couldn't say that to Aoi.

"I messed up with Nanaka. I shouldn't have tried to get out of it. But I didn't know what to do. I thought I did with Riko, but it didn't work out. So I was confused. But I had no idea that she'd take it _that_ badly – "

Aoi paused – as if in deep thought. Finally she picked up her whiteboard, and started to write:

_- Didn't you make a promise with Nanaka, too?_

A look of guilt. "No, it wasn't because of a promise – it was something I did in the past. I wanted to make it up to her – "

He was greeted by a curious glance. Shoot, had he said too much? The clues were now swimming in Aoi's head. Nanaka's erratic behavior after Sana left… the _**SLAP**_ upon his return… their roller-coaster relationship… and Sana's track record…

_She was sharp._

An attempted scream. But only a wheezing sound would come out, followed by a series of coughs. Aoi threw herself under the covers and started crying – and this time, there would be no telling when she would stop.

* * *

Graduation.

Somehow, she had done it. Sana and Aoi's friends had to deliver the schoolwork on a daily basis, and they had to arrange for a nurse to proctor the exams – but Aoi had achieved passing marks, and easily at that. So there would be a party, with everyone present: her mother, Sana himself, her group of friends, her homeroom teacher, and the principal. Even the nurse who served as her proctor was invited to stay, if only for a moment.

The ceremony commenced as Sana played the keyboard, and the principal handed her the diploma. Pictures were taken. A cake was brought in, in her honor – though she wouldn't be able to eat any of it. There were congratulations all around. A day of celebration, a moment of joy – perhaps Aoi's last.

But her medical condition was placed on the sidelines as the party continued. Her friends were now talking about their future plans. Only one of them had made it into college on her first try; the rest would be heading to cram school or junior college, or try to find work – they were undecided at this point in time. Her homeroom teacher commended Aoi for her marks, even under trying circumstances; she had achieved high marks in just about all of her subjects, and was likely to be one of the top graduates of her class. The principal, too, had words of praise, and he wished for her speedy recovery – for she would surely become successful, and represent Sakuranomori High very well.

Aoi, fortunately, was enjoying every minute of this experience. Though she spoke with a low, gentle voice – her high-pitched squeals had long since disappeared – it was the first time in a while that she could speak without difficulty. She hung on to every word spoken to her, able to soak them in without being driven to exhaustion. It was times like these when one almost dared to hope, that a miracle would talk place…

And of course, it ended. Her mother had to leave; her duties could wait no longer. Her friends and teachers took the cue and made their own exits. And Sana would have to go as well; he, too, had no shortage of work to do. Only, Aoi begged him to stay, if only for a few more minutes…

"Otouto-kun."

"Yes?"

"Did you finish the story?"

Ah, the other piece of news. Aoi had managed to complete the story just a few days back. It was definitely – different. A story that started at its peak, slowly went into a downward spiral, then began to accelerate, straight down. He thought the story had reached rock bottom when the main character started doing it with so many women – oh, how wrong he was. As it turned out, the story was just getting warmed up. And the ending –

"Yes, I finished it. But – did it really have to turn out _that_ badly? What he did was terrible, but that was just a horrible way to go. And what about the co-worker? His best friend? They weren't much better, but wasn't it a bit extreme?"

"That's the point. I'm sick of it. I'm sick of people who do whatever they want and make excuses for themselves. Because eventually, you're going to pay the price. It might be today or tomorrow, or in this life or the next. But you just can't get away from it, no matter how hard you try."

"But – wasn't it _her_ fault, too? She was the one who stalked and threatened the co-worker. And it wasn't a good idea to try a rebound relationship with her ex's best friend."

"She took her own life, too. Wasn't that bad enough?"

Well, that wasn't the point.

"What I want to know is – whether there's ever any hope. Because in your story, everything always turns out bad. Then it gets worse. And worse. Why can't things get better?"

"Why didn't it get better for Asami? Nanaka? Shuu and Shuri? Why am _I_ not getting better? I don't know. I wish I knew how things could get better, but it never, ever, _ever_ happened. For any of us. Even my friends couldn't get into the colleges they wanted to go to. I can't go on much longer like this – and I don't have much time left."

"But Aoi-chan, don't give up. There's always a chance you can get better. Isn't there hope? Aren't there miracles?"

"About that. I made the decision. I'm not going to be receiving any more drugs. I never wanted to in the first place – but they convinced me to hold on, until I graduated from high school. But now I've graduated. And I finished the story. So why stretch it out any longer? You don't know what it's like to take those drugs. It's a living nightmare. Every second of every day, you're in pain and sick; it gets to the point where it starts messing with your mind and you can't think. I can't get any sleep – I just pass out once in a while, and it gets to the point where I'm hoping I will pass out long enough so I can get more rest. And for what? The doctor says this is irreversible. I'm going to die from this. There isn't going to be a miracle. Everyone knows this, but they insist on wasting everyone's time and money, and extending this torture. I'm not going to go on like this. This is the end, Sana-chan."

"Aoi-chan…"

"Sana-chan, you're not the one who's dying. You haven't reached the end, not yet. Isn't it still possible for you? You will get more chances. My mom didn't kick you out of the apartment, and your mom is still there for you. And maybe next time, things will go better than they did with Riko and Nanaka. As long as you follow the Oribe family rule, you'll have a better chance…"

An involuntary shiver. "Aoi-chan, please stop talking like that! You'll get better, I know it! Make a wish. Pray. Do something. Please…"

"Sana, there is one last thing I want to tell you." She blushed. "It was supposed to be a secret. But mom said it was OK. And I have to tell you now, because I might never get another chance. This might be the last time I can talk to you." _Or talk – at all_.

"Yes?"

"Do you remember – what happened a few years ago? When you left Sakuranomori?"

Not a lot. It was a hectic time, with his mother in the foulest of moods. One minute, he was living with his mother and father in Sakuranomori, with Aoi and his aunt close by; the next, everything had shattered into pieces, as his mother took him and fled a few towns over, his father went in the opposite direction, and Aoi and his aunt were stuck in the middle. His friends and the piano were his only respite, but even that would be taken away. And the following months were filled with one horror after another, with his mother filing for divorce and his father moving in with another woman. This was when he met Riko for the first time; an undeniable beauty with an engaging personality, who seemed to sympathize with him…

"In a way, I guess it was my fault. Because I never should have _existed_. Do you know how I was born?"

Something told him that he really didn't want to know.

"Your father – he was like you. Always making mistakes, always trying to make amends. But he was a lot worse than you. At least with you, you and the girl were in love, and both of you were willing. It's much worse when only one person is in love and one person is willing."

Sana barely managed to suppress a scream.

"He tried to make up for it, of course. He stayed with your mother and he was always close to me and my mother. Don't you remember all those family trips? Outings? We even ate dinner together half the time. And the apartment – how do you think my mom was able to buy an entire building? There was no way she could, unless she had help. I guess that was a – _settlement_."

Which was a nice way of saying the word, _bribe_.

"The secret remained safe for a while. My mom felt really guilty, but it was understood that if she ever told your mom, there would be – _consequences_. But it had to come out at some point; and when your mom figured out what had happened – "

Aoi had said more than enough, though she had a few more sordid details to offer. There were a few more run-ins between her mother and – _her biological father_. Fights between the two sisters. The divorce hearings; apparently, Aoi's mom was pressured to be a witness for both sides. And the slow, gradual healing, which began when Aoi's mom testified on behalf of her sister, and grew to the point where Sana's mom could trust her sister with her own son…

"Aoi-san? Then – "

"Otouto-kun. It's true. You're really my little brother. I guess you always were, even when we were little. I was really surprised when I found out, but in a way – it felt right. Because that's how I've always felt about you. There was this – connection? It's been there all along, and even when you went away, it was never broken…"

Realization.

"Aoi-san, that means – o – _Onee-san!_ Onee-san. I'll do it. I'll be there for you. I'll come visit you. If you ever need anything, just send me a message on my cell phone, and I'll come right away. I'll do anything. Everything. Just hang in there for just a little longer. Please, give me the chance…"

Aoi smiled – and Sana responded in kind. From now on, everything would be different. For there was a new promise: he would sacrifice everything for her, and take care of her, for as long as she lived.

And he did.


	12. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

It didn't happen.

He had done everything in his human power to make it happen, but it proved fleeting. He had utterly devoted himself to taking care of Aoi during her final days. She departed with much happiness and joy, yet it had not been enough. He had completed high school with unexpectedly high marks, even while facing an increased work load. But that, too, fell short. After graduation, he had been promoted to manager, and started working full-time at the apartment. And in the meantime, he had not committed one (serious) violation of the Oribe family rule. His aunt and mother were appreciative, and even found ways to cut down on his work hours. But in the end, it remained just beyond his grasp. Why? Why was it that he could still hear Riko's cries from a hundred miles away? And Nanaka's cries from the grave?

It didn't make sense. He had even taken up the offer to play piano at Asami's church, for crying out loud. Just what else did he have to do? _Redemption_ seemed almost like a dirty word now; something that would remain forever out of his reach. Why should he bother trying? Or keep going? Even as he made great headway, he was no closer to his destination than he was at the beginning; there was a large chasm that he simply could not cross…

Obviously, there was something else. By any logical standard, he should have been redeemed several times over, and be living a happy and satisfying life. And on the surface, there was no reason why he wouldn't. It seemed like every break had gone his way lately. The bond measure had passed with flying colors, and as a result, property value and rent both skyrocketed, and all the apartments were soon occupied. This allowed his aunt to promote him to full-time manager, and hire some much-needed part-time help. In fact, she had taken a job as a sales clerk at the bookstore, and left most of the administrative duties to him. And his mother moved back into town, and was able to find a good job very quickly – exactly as she had predicted.

Then again, Wakatsuki-san was the one who had benefitted the most. He net worth was now in the billions, and he became the most honored figure in town. He devoted much of his time to charity work and philanthropy. His wife, too, became a respected figure – and she would be admired for her sharp sense and intelligence, even more so than her beauty. Shouldn't they, too, have been _redeemed_? Why, then, was it that their nights were filled with nightmares? And that, only during nights when they were lucky enough to get any sleep at all?

There had to be something more fundamental.

But the answer would always remain just out of reach. For there were things he simply couldn't control. Couldn't do. One thing he _could_ do was to continue what he was doing… work hard, follow the Oribe family rule, and continue playing piano for the church… and afterwards, avoid dozing off during the service, as a sign of respect…

Ah, that subject again. _Redemption_. So the church had their own answer to that question. And in a way, the priest confirmed what he already knew – it was something that was not humanly possible. No, it was only made possible by the grace of God. By accepting Christ as your Lord, the door would be opened –

While Sana wasn't quite ready to go that far, he had to admit it made heck of a lot more sense than any other idea he had ever heard. Maybe there would be a time and a place when he would take a step in that direction. But not now, and not yet. Although, it was becoming harder and harder to resist the members of the church, who all appreciated his playing, and urged him to join the church…

Including some familiar faces. Asami's and Hinako's parents were among them, and they would always vouch for him – despite his, well, "colorful" past. And today, they were joined by another familiar figure; though it had been a while, he would recognize the face in an instant –

An involuntary response.

"_Shuri_?"

Wait. Her hair color was different, and Shuri wouldn't be here. So the only other choice was –

"Hinako?"

"Sana-chan! It's been a while. How have you been?"

Ah, time to exercise _politeness_ – in other words, lie.

"Things are going well at the apartment. I'm the manager now. How are you doing?"

"School is really tough. Did I tell you? I entered an escalator program for college. As long as I do well in the classes, they will guarantee me admission. I think there are twenty people in the program, and they said they will take about five to ten – so it's getting really competitive."

"I hope you do well."

"So far. I should finish in the top five unless something goes wrong. But it's a lot of work. Don't you remember Yuzuki-sensei?"

Ah, yes, still going strong at Sakuranomori High, as her infamy would live on – to the point that students were now plotting to set her up with some guy, in hopes that _something_ would mellow her out. Alas, she would remain single as always, and remain dedicated to her work.

"Imagine having a dozen Yuzuki-senseis at the same time – and some of them are even worse. There was one math test where I got 70%! And they said _that_ was the second highest in the class. And the homework! I always start early, but there are days where I _still _have to stay up half the night."

If she was asking for sympathy, she wasn't going to get it from him.

"Hinako-chan, do you still keep up with the stock market?"

"No, I gave that up a while ago." Not that Sana could blame her – her portfolio must have tanked, along with the rest of the market. At this rate, she might never live to see the day when the Nikkei Index hit 40,000 again.

"These days, I'm more into politics. What do you think of the new Prime Minister? Everyone says that he's going to be gone after this term. The entire opposition party is going after him and half of his own party is, too. His biggest problem is that he thinks the solution to everything is to spend more money – "

So it seemed that she hadn't changed much.

"It's nice to see you again. And cheer up, Sana-chan. Smile. Play some happy songs for us. Maybe – you should get a girlfriend?"

Now _that_ was a sore topic. And if there was one thing he had learned – no matter how bad things were, they could always get worse. After all, he had managed to live through the experiences, unlike Nanaka's father.

"No, not now." _And definitely not you._ "I'll be fine. Good luck at school! I hope you get into the top five!"

And that, he hoped, would send her off on her way – at least for a while. He had to go back to the apartment; duty called, as always. And if he was lucky, and managed to finish by evening, maybe he could sneak some piano in –

Ah, the piano. He had started taking lessons ever since graduation, and for the first time, _finally _had the time to practice regularly. He had improved in leaps and bounds, and was playing a number of solo pieces. But only solo pieces. No real duets; accompanying the choir during church service didn't count. There were times when he wished he had someone to play with; hopefully this one would stick around for a little longer –

A reminder. The violin. Yes, Nanaka's uncle had given it to him; he had not wanted any part of it. And so, it would sit next to the piano – and the case would remain there, unopened. When would the time come? When someone would breathe life into the instrument once more? And allow him to relive those special moments – the Pachelbel's Kanon in the honors recital, and the duet at the festival?

He found himself playing the song from his farewell party – once half-finished, and now complete. Memories. Yes, he had many happy moments. Growing up with Aoi, and his close friendship with the twins. Nanaka, the violinist – and his first real girlfriend. Riko, his second girlfriend – who came along at a time when he needed her the most. Return to Sakuranomori, the renewal of his old friendships, and meeting Asami – the other violinist. Yet, one by one, they had disappeared. Every last one. Why? Why is it that everything that was good, invariably went bad, disappeared, or became destroyed?

And maybe that was the key. Maybe everything was destined to rot away. But _redemption_ had to be something different, didn't it? A miracle. Something that lasted forever, and would always remain good, no matter what happened. Something beyond reach, beyond comprehension, beyond limits – but there, just the same. A treasure, of immeasurable value…

He would continue to search. Maybe he was destined to fail, and maybe it didn't exist. And maybe he had already removed himself from the running. But as long as the possibility was still there, he would go on. And one day, perhaps _redemption_ would visit him, and he would wonder why he wasn't able to recognize it before.

**End.**


	13. Omake

**Omake - Trip**

It was summer.

The plans had already been made. Schedule for Monday – work. Tuesday – work. Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday – work. Sunday? Could it be? Something different? Ah, yes. Getting up at the crack of dawn, and sitting through a three-hour train ride. Arrival at his mother's place, where he would be subject to her lectures and her predictions – which were amazingly accurate, yet never seemed to bode well for him. Then after dinner, a three-hour train ride _back_ to Sakuranomori – where he would face an early wake-up call for the following morning.

Was it fate?

But wait, as it turned out, he _would _be able to have a vacation after all. Aoi and her mother were taking their yearly one-week trip, during which he would have triple duty. So it was only fair that _he_ would get a week off. So the following week, _he_ would be granted a vacation – which, inevitably, would be spent at his mother's place.

There had to be an alternate reality, right? One where he would be able to enjoy summer break, like most normal teenagers. Instead of being stuck with work or at his mother's place, where every moment that was not spent on work was dedicated to finishing his summer homework or doing chores around the house. Even playing the piano was a luxury that he had to bargain for. He could use an escape hatch right about now, thank you.

But there was someone, somewhere, who had heard his wish. And so, just for one day, his wish would be granted… his friends, too, would be freed from their indentured servanthood, and they would make wonderful memories, at a place that had been especially prepared for them...

* * *

The beach. Ah, yes!

Now _this_ was more like it. The sun. The water. Food and drinks. Games. And best of all – the swimsuits! Finally, a chance to escape the clutches of the Oribe family rule!

And the best part was, _everyone_ was there. Aoi. The twins. Nanaka. And even Asami. OK, so Hinako wasn't there, but she didn't count. The important part was who _weren't_ there – the parents, who all seemed to think that it was just fine for a group of teenagers to do whatever they wanted for a few hours, completely unsupervised.

Yes, a miracle had been granted, in more ways than one. And so, hopefully, he would be granted the opportunity to make _great memories_, ones he could always share with his friends – and never, _ever_, dream of revealing to his mother.

Ah, but the roadblocks.

Maybe bringing Aoi wasn't such a great idea? No doubt, his aunt had a list of rules all prepared – and Aoi was going to enforce them, in full.

"Aren't you going to change into your swimsuits?" Sana finally asked.

All the girls turned towards Aoi.

"I told the girls not to bring them," Aoi clarified. "No one felt like swimming anyway, so there was no point."

No point? No point?! They had just stamped on his hopes (and Shuu's), and that's all she could say?

"What are we doing, then?" Sana asked.

"Hmm. I have a list of ideas. We can play the watermelon splitting game; Shuu brought one for us. Or play volleyball, if we can find a court to play in. After we eat, it's free time. We can walk around the beach or check the nearby shops, or anything else you want to do. Did everyone bring their cell phones?"

"Yes," was the common reply.

"Remember, we need to be on the bus by 9:00PM. No exceptions. But until then, let's have a good time!"

About that – those swimsuits would've really helped, but Sana figured it was a lost cause.

* * *

First up, the watermelon-splitting game. The goal of this game was simple. They would first split up into pairs. One person was blindfolded, and would swing a stick in an attempt to break the watermelon – while the other person was responsible for guiding the blindfolded person. Each pair would take turns until the watermelon cracked open, and the winning pair would get first choice among the slices.

That was the theory, anyway.

Some of them actually managed to hit the watermelon, only to have the stick slide right off. Or bounced right back at them. Shuu accidentally hit himself on the knee, and he was now yelping in pain. Asami had the most success, and hit the watermelon flush – but it only left the tiniest of dents. And Sana decided to swing the stick like a golf club, and ended up tweaking his wrist. After a while, it became apparent that no one would succeed – so Aoi decided to cut it open.

_Pink_.

Actually, even that was being generous, as the colored part of the watermelon was only in the center. Who had bought this inedible piece of junk, anyway? Still, weighed by a vague sense of guilt, they decided to force it down their throats – only to be stopped by Aoi. It would give them a stomachache, she claimed.

* * *

Next up, volleyball.

They had to wait half an hour for a court to open. And there were no boundary lines, so they had to spend a few minutes making them. But those were but small inconveniences; now they were ready to roll!

Shuu and Shuri had insisted on being on the same team and Nanaka had pulled him aside. Then Nanaka insisted on having Aoi on their side, so the teams were set. They would play to 15, with Asami serving first.

First serve – right into the net.

OK, so they were just getting warmed up. See? Aoi got her serve over the net, which landed between three people. Easy point.

The game continued, with both sides struggling to just get the ball over the net. There would be no laser serves, or spectacular digs, or a sky-high leap followed by a pulverizing spike. Shuu was the only one to try a spike, only to see his attempt hit the middle of the net. Finally, Asami made one last error and that was game. They would be shooed off the court as they made their way back to their spot – where their lunch was waiting for them.

Fortunately the food was mercifully edible; after all, Aoi and Sana had done the honors, while Shuri was kept some distance away from the kitchen (at everyone's request). So it was now free time, and a perfect opportunity to make some… _memories_.

* * *

It would've helped if she had a swimsuit on.

But _no_, she didn't "feel like it". Since when was she such a prude? Even her sleeveless sundress had been left at home, replaced by something she must have borrowed from her aunt.

Well, that was her loss. After all, there were plenty of curvaceous figures to feast upon; and some of them were wearing particularly delicious swimsuits –

"_**OUCH!**_"

"Hmph!"

"Why did you do that for?"

"Stop going off and staring at people! Why can't you look at me?"

He had tried, but she had covered up all the parts he wanted to see. Though, that didn't stop him from lowering his eyes –

– _**SLAP – **_

"Don't look at me like that! We can do it later, OK? But not today. We're here to have fun. And no, not _that_ way."

Judging from her face, which had turned bright red – she was going to let him off easy. All he had to do was to serve as her slave for a day, and all would be forgiven. So he would have to control his appetite for now, and it wouldn't be too long before she provided the main course… and a little dessert afterwards, if he was lucky.

Of course, it was easier said than done.

"What do you mean, you're out of money?"

Look, it's not like he had any say in it. He never got to see any of the money he had "earned" from his part-time job; it was gone by the time he paid for rent and food. And Aoi had made sure to empty his wallet before they left, for "security reasons".

"Sorry, Nanaka. But I'm broke."

"Please, Sana? How about this bracelet? It's only 500 yen. Don't tell me you don't even have that much."

Gees, now she had to rub it in.

"Aoi has all my money. So – "

"Can't you call and ask her?"

Sana did, and got the answer he expected – DENIED.

* * *

Asami looked up from the book she was reading.

"What's going on?"

"Oh, that was my cousin. He's with Nanaka right now."

"Are you sure they'll be all right?"

Aoi gave a mischievous smile. "Oh, I'll make sure that they are. Hoshino-san, can you help me?"

"How?"

"Give Sana a call every few minutes. And keep him on the phone as long as you can. I'm sure that will keep them out of trouble. I'll try calling the twins."

With that, both of them returned to their books.

* * *

"Are you sure it's OK to turn off our phones?"

"Sh!" his voice lowered to a whisper. "We have to be very quiet. We can't take any chances…"

Ah. It had taken some effort, but they had finally found a spot – _their_ spot, where they could be all alone. It was a little hard to see, but it would have to do.

"Shuri, I have something for you. I hope you like it."

She opened the little box – and nearly screamed from pure joy.

"Shuu! Where did you get this? Oh, I don't know how long it's been. Thank you so much. But how? Why? What if you got caught?"

"Don't worry about that. Could I try some?"

"Of course! But you have to be careful not to get hooked. It's great if you do it once in a while, but if you do it too often…"

Ah, yes, Shuri's date in court. It was a miracle that she had avoided jail time; their dad must have worked out a back-door deal.

But nothing was going to go wrong this time. It was just this once, right? A special occasion. And perhaps, this day would become even more special, before it came to an end…

"Shuu?"

"Yes?"

"Thank you. I missed it so much. I wish there was something I could do to pay you back…"

A hug.

"You don't have to do anything," Shuu whispered into her ear – then lowered her to the ground.

* * *

Yet another phone call.

This was starting to get ridiculous. Was this the fourth? Or the fifth? The first couple were nice; on the other hand, maybe he shouldn't have ignored the glares he was receiving. But after the third, there had been – repercussions. Yes, she had found a way to "punish" him – it was a good thing she didn't have a whip, chains, handcuffs, or ropes, or things could have gone much worse for him.

_This_ time, Sana didn't even bother. He handed the phone to Nanaka, who wasted no time in chewing Asami out. But Nanaka's face quickly turned red, as she handed Sana his phone – ah. There must have been a misunderstanding.

"Aoi-san?"  
"_Have you seen the twins? I've been trying to reach them for the last couple of hours, but they wouldn't answer. Something must have happened to them. Come here as soon as you can._"

So it was an emergency.

First up, a visit to the lifeguard. He explained that the twins probably just lost track of time, and would probably come back on their own. So at least one person should be waiting at their spot (for the time being, this was Asami). A second person (Aoi) would be waiting at the bus stop; if the twins were running late, they would probably head over there directly. As for the other two (Sana and Nanaka), they were to check out shops, restaurants, and the video arcade – all potential time sinks. In the meantime, the lifeguard would notify all the other lifeguards that were on duty, and make periodic announcements.

Time was running short; they had less an hour before the last bus. Enough time for him and Nanaka to check a few spots – but the twins were nowhere to be found. And time was running short…

"_Sana!_"

The dreaded call from Aoi.

"_Meet us at the bus stop. We couldn't find them. I already called the police, and they said they'll take care of everything._"

"That's terrible!"

"_Sorry, Sana. But it's up to the police now._"

* * *

"Shuri."

"Shuu."

"That was wonderful. I hope this could last forever…"

A look at the watch.

Well, it looked as if they might get their wish.

"What do we do now? How are we going to get back?"

"Mmm…" He still hadn't gotten past the moaning stage.

"Shouldn't we do something? We have to find a way to get home!"

"We can always pray for a miracle…"

As if on cue, they were visited by a bright light.

* * *

"Yes? Oh. At least they were found. Thank you."

"Aoi-san? What was that all about?"

"That was from the police station. They found them."

"That's good."

_Or not_. The twins had been _busted_, to put it kindly – and were waiting for their parents to take them home. And Aoi had the feeling that she had been given the heavily edited version.

"I wonder why they turned their phone off."

_Same reason you turn yours off when you're with Nanaka._

"Let's not worry about them. At least they're safe. Speaking of which, shouldn't you turn _yours_ on?"

What for? Oh. Wait. Yes, _that_. His phone _had_ been on the whole time, but he had missed the call amongst all the hubbub.

"Mom? Sorry I missed the call. Things got a bit confusing – "

"It's all right. Did you have a good time?"

Who was he talking to?

"Shuu and Shuri were missing, and we were trying to find them. I completely forgot – "

"Don't worry. I just wanted to know whether you had fun."

"It was OK, I guess." Translation: it was a living nightmare. "What did you do?"

"I went to the racetrack. I hoped you could come. I picked three winners and an exacta. I made – oh, about 200,000."

200,000! That explained everything. Now he was really regretting going to the beach. The excitement, in seeing winner after winner come in… going out to eat at a nice restaurant… having his mother be super-nice to him for a day… he could see it all. But it was an opportunity missed, as usual.

"That's great. Maybe – next week?"

"Next week, I'm getting my sink replaced. I hope you can come, Sana. I could really use your help."

Oh, bummer. But should he have expected anything else?

* * *

"I'm sorry, Dad. This won't happen again."

"It wasn't his fault! It was me. _I _was the reason this happened."

"From what they told me, you were doing it _together_."

"Please, Dad. Help!"

That would cost him. And even if he paid them off, there was no guarantee that this wouldn't get out – after all, they had _evidence_.

"I've had enough of this. Why can't you stop?" He pointed his finger at Shuri. "You always have to have more, more, more."

"And you too! Your sister's trying to turn things around, and you have to go off and get her into trouble!"

"We're sorry!"

"Good! It's about time. You'll have plenty of time to be sorry, behind bars! And you better hope you don't get sent to reform school after this!"

"But that's too – "

_Time._ It looked like their five minutes were up.


End file.
